Disclaimer--- I'm not sure where this question would go cause I couldn't find a women's study section but this past weekend I was at a friend's wedding when I met another friend of mine who told me she was being abused by her husband but she didn't want to leave him cause of her 4 year old son. I told her to take action but she said she's conflicted cause she still loves her husband. I know she's also the type of person to be really scared of offending anyone.
What can be done here?
Why doesn't our government have services for women, say in schools to make it mandatory that men don't physically abuse them?
We talked till 3 am and I left depressed for her.
2006-09-11 04:51:49 · 12 answers · asked by Egroeg_Rorepme 4 in Politics & Government ➔ Law & Ethics
You guys are depressing me even more. I'm almost sorry I asked this question.
2006-09-11 05:12:34 · update #1
Well, i understand that it could be difficult but don't lose hope. Your friend NEEDS to be willing to take legal action because the law is your best bet. But then again, this may not be a good solution as your friend does not want to leave a negative impression to her 4 yr old son.
Since your friend does not want to take any form of protection from the police as she still loves her husband, i would probably think that the most viable solution is for you to keep an eye on her. Should the problem escalate into something worst (i hope not), then you have to take the initiative in letting the authorities know. Remember that an abusive family is not really a condusive environment for a child.
I sincerely hope that your friend's problem will be solved and try not to be too worried :)
2006-09-11 05:05:26 · answer #1 · answered by Dark Knight 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Men can't legally abuse women, it is called asault and battery. Just like other laws this one is broken all the time. I don't understand how women can love men that abuse them. You can try calling the police and telling them, but usually that doesn't work, they need to call themselves. The police can give you pointers on what you can do or how to talk her into calling herslef. Check the phone book most cities have several womens shelters you can try taking her to. Even if she won't stay in one they have excellent counselors that may be able to convince her to leave her husband. I don't reccommend this, but you can call child protective services and claim the boy is in an abusive home, then when they investigate your friend might be honest and tell them she is the abused one, that will get the ball rolling. The problem is if she doesn't get honest she will lose the child too, or the husband can lie and say she is abusive so he keeps the child. You need to decide how drastic the situation is in order to decide which action to take.
2006-09-11 05:02:30 · answer #2 · answered by Wilkow Conservative 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
The only thing is you can be there for her and try to explain that this is only hurting her son to be around this kind of thing. When he grows up this is what he will think should be done in a relationship. They do have out reaches for abused women where the men can not find them. The sad thing is until she decides she has had enough there is nothing you can do but be her friend. Offer her to come and stay at your place anytime she needs to. Hopefully she will come around before it is to late. But trust me this didn't just start. It has probably been going on for a long time.
2006-09-11 04:59:59 · answer #3 · answered by butterfly 4 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You cannot help her. My daughter lives in a mentally abusive relationship. She swears he has never hit her, somehow I doubt that.
You can say all the right things and give her all of the right information on getting help. She will leave either in a body bag or when she opens her own eyes. We have more than enough services but they cannot help her until she is ready to help herself and her child.
The best that you can do is be her friend, listen to her, give her a shoulder to cry on and most of all call protective services if you believe that the child is being abused no matter how much you doing that may harm your friendship.
Watch your back though, the husbands tend to go after those who "support" the abuse victims.
2006-09-11 05:07:00 · answer #4 · answered by ebosgramma 5 · 1⤊ 1⤋
There are organizations which support abused women and help them get out of the situation. Why don't you research what is available in your area. Then let your friend know that when she has had enough, you have phone numbers for her to call.
is the child being abused? If so, you can take action. There are strong laws protecting children and you are entitled to make a report.
2006-09-11 04:57:48 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 3⤊ 1⤋
Unfortunately, the excuses that she gave you for not leaving are the reasons that programs aren't/weren't too successfully. My neighbor is in the same situation and it breaks my heart. Just be a friend to her and let her know that when she is ready to call the authorities and stick with a prosecution, then you will be there for her. Until they have physiologically become ready and/or realize that they have had enough the reality is that nothing can be done.
2006-09-11 04:57:18 · answer #6 · answered by DeltaQueen 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
She is the only one who can make that move! sad but true...
Abuse in the home doesn't sink in for me that well. I had two drunks for parents, but they were always decent to each other and to us kids.
My wife and I never fight, we politely disagree.... See, several years ago we started going to a karate school. We are both black belts in Kempo. We both work out everyday.... Needless to say, real damage would be done to both of us if we ever made it physical.
2006-09-11 05:01:51 · answer #7 · answered by and,or,nand,nor 6 · 2⤊ 1⤋
local Social services are available to her also call the police when it happens again Most women are just not in a position to leave financially
2006-09-11 05:04:51 · answer #8 · answered by sportlvr45 4 · 1⤊ 1⤋
You should just re assure your friend that you'll always be there for her and if there is any trouble that you will stand by her till they end .... the more you stand by her and reassure your friend the more confidence she will get from knowing she's not on her own... and that she dosen't have to put up with this....
2006-09-11 04:59:33 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 2⤋
there is nothing you can do - and we do have laws against abuse just not against STUPID CHOICES ( you know like - he still loves me ! )
2006-09-11 04:54:21 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 2⤋