It happened in the NY subway. My BF saw the guy looking at him while he was walking down the platform. So he kept walking to get away from the stranger. The strange man then followed my boyfriend and continued to stare at him in a lustful way. So my BF looked at him straight in the eye and asked him what was he looking at. My BF said that if the train didn't come they would have been fighting.
I told my BF that he should have walked away, far away, one more time. Also he could have ignored him. My BF responds that I am not a man so this is something that hard to explain. I would like some straight male responsed to this question. Thanks
2006-09-11 04:48:40 · 18 answers · asked by babylove 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
I believe he overreacted... society today thinks that most homophobic males tend to have urges toward homosexual activities so they will go out of their way to display that they are 100% against gays and homosexuals. It could have also been depicted that your boyfriend has some discrimination issues against homosexuals.
Suggest to him accept it just as it was... someone could have been attracted to him. It meant nothing more than that so why treat it like it was. By reacting as he did, he just gave the stranger the attention and focus to turn it up a notch and continue.
2006-09-11 04:57:13 · answer #1 · answered by E. Gads 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I hope you will accept a straight female response. No, I don't think he overreacted. Straight guys are understandably offended by any overtures by a homosexual male. He probably should have just ignored the situation and gone on his way as you suggested. However, this was undoubtedly traumatic for him, so he acted the way any straight guy would. In fact, I give him credit for not fighting, as he could have been arrested for assault and battery.
These things do happen occasionally as part of mistaken identity. A gay guy can sometimes be mistaken, but shouldn't be so crass that he'd follow someone just on a false assumption. That's just asking for trouble. Thank goodness your bf didn't get in a fight. The law would probably have seen it as his fault, being the instigator of the fight. Besides, unless he was actually propositioned, he couldn't prove that the guy was gay just because he followed him and stared at him. He may have misinterpreted the "lustful" look.
2006-09-11 05:19:58 · answer #2 · answered by gldjns 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Oh, for heaven's sake - you're boyfriend has some issues for sure! He's clearly homo-phobic and yes, he DID over-react in a big way!!!
First of all, he's "assuming" the other guy was gay and he's also "assuming" that he's that person's type and that the guy was lusting after him...give me a break! Maybe your boyfriend should ask himself why he kept checking out the other guy to see what he was doing, anyway...
I've known/worked with/been friends with many homosexual men throughout the years and they are just like anyone in the respect that they don't like EVERY male just because they have a penis, and they don't consider EVERY male as fair game.
Your boyfriend needs to grow up and realize not everyone, male or female, finds him to be a sexual opportunity. His correct response, if indeed he even WERE being "checked out" should have been simply to ignore the other person unless the guy actually said something to him, touched him or otherwise made an obvious pass at him.
2006-09-11 04:57:50 · answer #3 · answered by dragonwing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It depends. Did the other guy come out and say he was a homosexual? Because if he didn't then your boyfriend has no right to overreact like he did. Maybe your boyfriend sat in gum or had something on his shirt. Doesn't mean he was an gay man looking at your boyfriend.
2006-09-11 05:06:05 · answer #4 · answered by aberboychris 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Clearly he overreacted, what would have beating the crap out the guy showed anyone? Sounds like anger management issues.
And how did your bf interpret his looks as lustful? Says a bit about his insecurities in himself.
I guarantee if the other guy was twice his size your guy just would have keep on walking.
2006-09-11 04:56:16 · answer #5 · answered by live2ride 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is your man homophobic? Is he positive the other man was gay? How is it that your man is so perceptive in knowing when other men are looking at him lustfully? As the stranger did not touch or say anything to your man there is no way of knowing what, if any, his intentions were. Yes your man over-reacted. Why would he be thinking that men find him attractive or want him anyway?
2006-09-11 05:14:55 · answer #6 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's a disrespectful thing to have that happen and is also an emotional and physical assult on a hetrosexual mans sense of being and character. Besides that no sane person (male or female) appreciates UNWANTED sexual advances. Put yourself in his shoes. Would you want some woman following you and trying to force their sexual advances on you when you've given a clear indication you were not interested?
For a hetrosexual male... that type of behavior also insults their sense of manhood and integrity...
2006-09-11 05:01:22 · answer #7 · answered by 247 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sounds like your BF is insecure with his own sexuality! Lets remove the man and have it be an unattractive woman! Would he had reacted the same?..................no he would not so what was different? Nothing someone he was NOT attracted to found him desirable ....maybe we don't know for sure. Your BF needs to relax so what a gay man (maybe gay he assumed so) found him attractive...again maybe!! Sounds like the problem is your BF's! Sounds like your BF should spend more time with his own self confidence and less time of other people!!
2006-09-11 04:57:43 · answer #8 · answered by ? 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the stranger just stared at him when you walked by, then that would just have been alright and he would not have reacted.
But the fact, that he followed you,, it is natural for him to react. he was being intimidated... that that is what you did not understand of him.
As a man yes,, he was intimidated into his reaction.
And that is normal.. you should be lucky,,, he was still in control.. otherwise, he could have just hit him good.
2006-09-11 04:56:19 · answer #9 · answered by yulnores 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Yes, I believe he over reacted,too... People do have the right to look at you if you are in the public should have just kept on going and ignored him... best thing for everyone around
2006-09-11 05:29:13 · answer #10 · answered by JACKIE M 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋