Several months back we found several gay porn materials on my 14 yr old son's computer. he said it was all curiousity and promised to stop which he apparently did not because we continue to find gay materials on his computer after several months. my wife and i confronted him again last night. He was very confused, and continously argued that he is not gay but couldn't explain why he enjoys gay materials. Finally after several hours of silence he woke us up and said that he's sorry for his actions. He said he's confused and needs help.
I love my son so much despite all these things that are happening. I think he's trying his best .... but he doesn't kow what to do. How do i help him?
2006-09-11 04:41:21 · 7 answers · asked by SpongeDad 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It does sound like he has formed an attraction to the same gender. It may help him if you ask him if he can remember when he first felt this way. If he says he does not remember, then something could have had an influence on him when he was younger and he forgot the incident. Could have been the porn itself that influenced him. Does he have a gender nonconformity, this could be learned characteristics or hormonal influenced. It can range from a child wanting to be the opposite gender, to forming characteristics that are similar to characteristics that belong to the opposite gender because of laws of our society. Counseling would be a good idea. You need as much information and help you could get. Maybe his peers have been calling him gay and making him feel he may be. Influences comes from all angles.
2006-09-11 11:47:28 · answer #1 · answered by ishelp4 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
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2016-07-17 14:04:27 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, first decide if you would let him have any porn of any kind. If you say it has to go, it has to go. It's your house and he is only 14 and really should not be looking at it, although I know that it is normal.
Secondly support him and love him no matter what and let him know this.
Finally, take heart. My husband has admitted that when he was 13 and 14, he enjoyed masturbating with one of his friends and they even attempted to have anal sex. He is not gay whatsoever, but thinks that he was probably more attracted to it because he was told to treat girls with such deep respect but he had these natural, animal urges. He just transferred them to his friend because he could not get in trouble for it because nobody would think to check on two boys playing alone. New feelings and urges come out in funny ways when you're young. I actually had sexual feelings about cool looking motorcycles and trucks when I was a teenager, and I'm a girl!
2006-09-11 05:23:23 · answer #3 · answered by Barefoot Chick 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your son is probably gay whether he wants to admit or not and is having a difficult time accepting it. The reason he wants to stop looking at it is only an effort to please his parents. Accept his sexuality with as much composure you can muster. Being gay does not make him bad or deviant or damned to hell it just means he is gay. Counseling might help, but don't send him with the idea that counseling will "change" him. Being gay is not a choice despite what the religious right believes, you are born that way. Good luck to all of you.....
2006-09-11 05:26:11 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
He's most likely gay. Teenagers, particularly boys, are curious about sex and pornography. The teenage years are a tough time for everyone and probably even harder for gay people. If he does come out to you please try to be very supportive and understanding. Gay teens have a higher risk of suicide than their heterosexual counterparts especially if they're rejected by their families. He's your son. Love him and accept him as he is.
2006-09-11 12:57:23 · answer #5 · answered by DawnDavenport 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you helped by not totally freaking out.
I woul dsuggest some quiet time with him and talks about what his sexual confusion might be over. Seems that he's conflicted over whether or not he's gay; help him in your own way.
Some dads might try to get him laid, just to find out if he likes girls or not; your own results may vary.
2006-09-11 04:45:58 · answer #6 · answered by drumrb0y 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You can help him by telling him you love and accept him no matter what. You have unconditional love for your son. Make sure he knows that.
2006-09-11 04:46:02 · answer #7 · answered by JC 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋