After several years of suggesting my wife see professional help she has finally agreed (when thing got too much for her). I have seen therapist in the past and have always been mindful that they are only getting one side of the story so I tend to be nicer about the people around me then they sometimes deserve.
My wife is very social and is liked by everyone she meets but those who know her more personally know she can be a major *****.
I am afraid that my wife is going to start blasting me in her sessions (ex. my wife says I am lazy and I say I am never given any time to finish projects because of the kids) and the therapist is going to start giving my wife advice based on my wife's views of our situation.
I am being supportive and letting my wife know I care but I am not going to pry on what she went over in her sessions. I am hoping that the therapist invites me to a session or suggests couple counseling. Are my fears valid?
2006-09-11 04:10:10 · 12 answers · asked by butnozzle 2 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
I wouldn't necessarily say we take things with a grain of salt, persay, but like other people have said, we definitely take into account the fact that there are two sides to every story and are usually perceptive enough to realize when someone is exaggerating. If the therapist is good, then he or she will care more about coming up with positive solutions to the situation, rather than sitting there and listening to complaint after complaint. If you feel you'd like to attend a session with her you should ask her to bring that up to her therapist to see what they think...but go with an open mind and not with the intention of "defending" yourself. Does that make sense?
2006-09-11 06:48:30 · answer #1 · answered by Kelly M 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
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2016-12-20 16:05:54 · answer #2 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Most therapists realize they are only getting one side of the story. One of my colleagues (he was an academic dean at the school I taught at) used to regularly field calls from worried parents who heard *horror stories* from their child about life at college ("I'm going to class but the teacher hates me and that's why I'm failing" kind of thing). He would always tell parents that they were hearing the student's side of the story, but there was also the teacher's side of the story and that the truth was some where in between.
That's the approach that a good, qualified, competent therapist will take - be supportive of how your wife feels about her life with you, listen, and take your wife's comments with a grain of salt.
And if you're really concerned, ask to meet with your wife's therapist separately or let the therapist know that you would be open to a couples session (or couples counseling).
2006-09-11 04:21:38 · answer #3 · answered by MN Vixen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Therapists are trained to be objective, not supportive.
Best thing for both of you would be to go to a couple's therapist and both be on hand to give "both sides of the story". In that way you could work on all sides of an issue and perhaps learn a few things about each other you never considered before with a neutral third party in attendance.
2006-09-11 05:22:12 · answer #4 · answered by dragonwing 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
your fears are valid to a point. therapists realize that they are only getting one side of the story. the point of therapy is to work on your wife and her issues, so most therapists will try to focus on that, rather than seeing you as the problem. if the therapist really believes there is a serious issue between you two, you may be called in to a session or two so he/she can get your side of things, and maybe start marriage counseling.
2006-09-11 04:17:10 · answer #5 · answered by Niecy 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
therapists are different, just like people. if you don't like the first one, get a different one until you find one you both like. that is what i think. you are not stuck with a therapist who only sees one side. therapists are hip to everything you said. they are trying to help you get along with each other, a good therapist will not take sides. if you feel ganged-up against, tell you wife you need a different one.
2006-09-11 04:17:06 · answer #6 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Let the cards fall where they may. If she starts giving you too much flack, suggest doing couples therapy with her therapist. Then she will get the other side of the story.
2006-09-11 04:21:15 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think therapists (if they are good) can see through someone over-exaggerating a situation. They are used to giving advice based on what they are told. Maybe you can suggest to your wife you would love to support her in her therapy and would be willing to join her if that is what she wants. I would not force it though.
2006-09-11 04:18:48 · answer #8 · answered by shellylynn000 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I wish you both well. Don't worry about what she is going to say or do just take care of yourself. If she wants to tell you she will if not just mind your own business. Sounds like you both need to heal. Good Luck!
2006-09-11 04:18:43 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Be patient until therapist told her recommendations.
2006-09-11 04:23:56 · answer #10 · answered by Ahmad 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋