My bf & I were together 6 months and on the rocks when we found out I was pregnant...?

Question

My boyfriend and I were for together for 6months when I found out I was pregnant. We were so inlove and so happy. I was the girl he was going to marry, he'd even planned our kids names out! At the time we found out (before the news!
), we were having alot of troubles...which we would have usually sorted out... so much happened at once.

He was REALLY angry and whatnot especially because I was considering keeping the child. Everything got really nasty, even his sister got involved in being horrible....
It has now been over 2 months and we're not talking, If I send him even a nice text message he's abusive and replies back nastily and tells me to never msg him again.
He use to be the most beautiful boy I'd ever met... and would do anything for me, so loving and caring... now he's totally off the rails.

Do you think he will come around over time?
Will he ever want to be a part of his babys life? (due in march)
Is it just a time thing or is this it?

I did take precautions... I was on the pill, took it at the same time every day. Was so careful with it...


And yes, It definitely is his child...

Answer 1

First off sorry to hear about your situation. I think that he will want to see the baby someday and maybe even be part of his or her life. Don't think that because maybe one day he shows up that he's gonna wanna be with you again and raise this baby as a family together. For right now your on your own I hope I'm wrong but don't count on him I know a couple of single mothers and they do fine. He might just be freaked out also and maybe he will own up to the responsibility who knows just be prepared for the worst case. Best of luck to you.

Answer 2

I'm not sure exactly what to tell you, except that he wasn't ready to be a father and may possibly feel that you were trying to trap him. If his sister got involved, it's only because he got her involved and may have possibly told her things that he either wasn't telling you- such as fears, even his own real feelings or may have been telling her things like you messed around on him and he doesn't think the baby is his or a number of different things. You say he didn't want you to keep the baby, and that may have been the whole problem. That also shows that he wasn't exactly ready for that big step in his life. As long as he knows that you are planning on keeping the baby, he will always have this nagging feeling in the back of his mind saying that he really messed up. He sounds like he would have been there for you had the two of you been in a slightly different situation so there is a possibility that when the baby is born, he may even be there to see it or at least visit you and the baby in the hospital. But it will take time for him to get used to it and the best thing for you to do is give him that space and time. For now; go on about your life, celebrate- YOU ARE HAVING A BABY!!!!! It should be a joyous time for you and if he chooses to miss out on that, you and I both know that when it comes time for him to have other children, he will miss your baby the most. Do what is best for your baby right now and don't dwell on things that you may not be able to change. When you find out the sex, text him the sex of the baby. If that doesn't work, text pictures here and there of your sonograms. If he still doesn't come around, when you go into labor text him again. If he still shows no interrest in the baby and you do not see him at the hospital, make sure his name goes on the birth certificate and sue his a** for child support. But make sure you try not to dwell on things that may not work out for you because you have a child to think about now and that baby grows inside of you, you it will become more real than ever and in the end you will do what you have to for that baby.

Answer 3

He obviously isn't worth the hassle. You have enough to be worrying about at the moment, instead of chasing after someone who is so cowardly he can't even face up to his responsibilities.

You are going to have something that is going to be so important and precious, you really shouldn't bother yourself over him. You are probably thinking that the baby really needs a father, but in all fairness, do you want him to be that father?? If this is the way he treats you when you are pregnant, how could you even contemplate him being good enough to be left with a child?
You are going to be emotional at the moment, and very scared, but don't let that fool you into rash decisions. Would you want a man like this bringing up your child? At the end of the day...this is the easiest part for a man (as he does not have to do anything, the woman does it all) and he can't face it???
You're better off without him.
All us men are not bad, there will be someone out there who will love you and your child. Never lose hope.

I hope everything works out for you no matter what...and at the end of the day, the decision on what happens is totally yours.

Answer 4

I hope you will give the baby up for adoption. There are so many stable couples who have waited so long to have a baby. These are people that are financially and emotionally stable. They can give the child a loving home of a mother and father which this child most certainly will not have.

You job now is to do what is best for the child, not what is easiest or best for you. Did you have a loving father while growing up? Loving mother? Doesn't your child deserve to have both?

You should not expect the dirt-bag dad to change. He said whatever he had to say to get you into bed. This is how he is. Even if he started behaving better today, he will always be the person that behaved badly up until today. This is what makes bad people. They are the people who do bad things. There are no good people that just happen to do bad things. How long should the child have to wait to have both a stable mother and father.

Answer 5

From the description of how he's treating you I don't think he is gonna hang around. Even more when his family members are also involved in being nasty to you. It's hard for me to say this but I don't think he was ever serious about spending his life with you and I really don't think he'll come around. I think it's cool that you're considering to keep your baby and I still think you should although he might not be in your life anymore. Of course there are factors that you should consider being a single parent. But if you have supportive family and friends, and ready to take the responsibility, I'm sure you'll be just fine. Hang in there and I do hope you will get through this.

Answer 6

I say leave him alone even though this is hard for you and this is the time you need him the most but hes not good for you hes just isnt ready for the commitment of being involed or being a dad forget about him as hard as that may be and stay strong for your baby I dont think he will come around and even if he does you dont need someone like that in your life that everytime times get rough they will bail out on you so good luck girl with you and your baby and let go of the loser not only for you but for your baby also

Answer 7

I would not call, text or make any attempt to communicate with him. I would simply make sure to have all his information so I could take him to child support once the baby is born. If he is reacting this way now, why should you be the one after him? Be strong, I know that you probably still love him and feel that you need him, but if you have support from your family and/or friends and you are able to provide for yourself and get yourself prepared to receive your new baby, then why do you need him there? Unfortunately, you made a mistake which many women make, before becoming a man's baby's mother, you need to first make sure that you become that man's wife!

Answer 8

I think he'll eventually come around when he sees what he's missing out on. A guy may sound all excited about having a child, but when one is actually conceived, their reaction isn't always the best. Once he realizes that there's nothing anyone can do to change it, he'll eventually accept it. It's just hard for men to get a grip and grow up sometimes. A child means no more playing around. And you know how men are! He'll come around. Don't worry.

Answer 9

What woulld actually help is how good you two were for the 6 month long period...
Though it's not a really long time, time is immaterial if you two really love each other...

Although you're exhuberant, the pregnancy is unfortunate... But kudos to you to agree to having the baby...
My guess is he'll come around eventually... Moreover, you also say his sister's involved... Siblings play a tough role in protecting their kin.. Maybe he's being pressurized into staying away from you...

I hope & pray he comes around & wish you all the luck u need...

Answer 10

I'm sorry for your troubles. I think you have to plan on him not comming around. I've been with my husband for 10 years and we have a newborn baby, and I have to tell you it's hard. Hard on the relationship and hard on us individually. More specifically, it's difficult at first b/c of 1) the sleep deprivation, 2) not knowing what you're doing 3) learning about the baby and what s/he is trying to communicate with you 4) loss of personal freedom 5)hormone fluctuations and all the emotional swings. I'm telling you this not to make you nervous (truly), but to get you to focus on what you do after the baby is born. Prepare a support system for yourself now -- friends, babysitters, family. Try to have a plan in place for your financial situation (when/if you're going back to work, etc). Focus on that. You have a hugely important job to do as a mom, and if this man isn't going to be there to help you, you have to be ready to go it alone.

Best of wishes for you and your baby-to-be.