Breastfeeding negativity?

Question

I am really curious as to why some people on here feel the need to bash breastfeeding and those who chose to do so. Even the most sincere questions are met with sarcasm and negativity and I have to ask...why? What purpose does it serve to be negative about breastfeeding when others are seeking encouragement or advice?

I realize there is a negativity towards formula feeding but that isn't my question. Why would anyone give someone who is asking a sincere breastfeeding question or seeking support a nasty sarcastic answer that bashes those who support breastfeeding? It really makes no sense.

How sad that people are being judged on the assumption that they would judge others.

Answer 1

I am sorry to hear that formula feeders feel they are being bashed by breastfeeders. I have seen many posters who post valid information, with references and without "judgement" when a question is asked about breastfeeding/combination feeding, weaning, etc.

In fact the majority of posts I have seen from intelligent BF advocates have been very balanced and gentle, and referenced "experts" like the American Academy of Pediatrics, World Health Organization, etc. Those can hardly be described as biased or extremist sources.

Frankly, I don't post on topics asking about "How do I mix a bottle for my 3 week old?" etc. because I have very little experience with formula. I would hope the formula feeders could extend similar courtesy to the breastfeedingh questions they don't know the answer to. Apparently some people aren't mature enough to understand the concept "If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all."

I have eight years of breastfeeding experience. In that time I have dealt with several different problems, and learned from my experiences. On a question about breastfeeding, what am I supposed to say?
"I know how you feel, I dealt with the same thing, and here's how you can fix it and keep on breastfeeding if that's what you want." (I also post links to La Leche League and Kellymom becuase when I was looking for answers on how to fix stuff, that's where I found HELP, and I think other moms should know that there's help out there if they want it! Is that so wrong???)

Or should I always say "Well it just didn't work out. Break out the formula?"

Because it seems like that's the only answer that will make certain people happy, even if it's NOT what the asker is looking for. Shoot, it's easy to find someone who will tell you "Just switch to formula." and not give any info about other options. Just walk into a mall and toss a bottle, you'll hit a dozen.

Answer 2

I find it amazing that on both sides you can sit there and bash feeding your child. I mean, we all know that breastfeeding can be the most beneficial simply because that is how your child developes their immune system. Yes, it is incredibly important. But why would anyone in their right mind say it was unnatural? How exactly do you think they did it before they came up with the bottle???
Or those who say bottlefeeding is bad.
Then take this into consideration.
You have a woman who wants to breastfeed. Spends the first 2 weeks attempting this, with help from nurses, etc. But the baby can not latch on, has fits over trying to suckle because its not coming out right with the nipple shield and is very hungry.
So what do you do? Expel your breastmilk into a bottle, and bottle feed your baby. This works. Baby gets to eat, and get the oh-so-important breastmilk. But then, for no apparent reason, mom's supply begins to rapidly diminish. Doctors all recomend formula. Ok, so mom does both. Then, inexplicably, after 3 weeks, her milk is gone, not enough to give even a tiny amount to baby. So now baby, at 2 months old, is being given strictly formula, and mom has no other option.
So what does either side say to that?
Does it ever occur to anyone that feeding your baby the best option available is what is truly important? Some women can still manage to have a close relationship with their baby via a bottle.
I say, as long as baby gets fed, gets the best nutrition available, and gets to be close to mom, and even daddy, why complain. You do what is best for your child, you make the best effort that you possibly can. Don't sit there and bash someone who doesn't do it YOUR way. YOUR way isn't always the right way. Why not instead, encourage the mother who is still making the effort to care the best way she possibly can for the child.
None of it means that child is going to end up dumber, more sickly, or with this problem or that problem - things that come from the way they are raised, and genetics.
Give the tired mother encouragement, pointers she can use to help get through these first few months so she doesn't think she is being this horrible person.
Its hare enough the first few months, and to have to listen to people who have nothing better to do or say than that woman is an idiot, is an even bigger idiot themselves.

Answer 3

That is a very true point. A lot of people in here feel negative views towards breast feeders--because they are rude to bottle feeders. I bottle feed and disagree with how rude breast feeders can be. A lot of people in here are really outspoken about everything--they think they know best for not only their child and situation but someone elses child and situation. It's irritating, downright disrespectful, rude, immature, and can be really hurtful. With that said--I believe two wrongs don't make a right. I'll keep fighting the fight for non-judgment and open-mindedness, but some people think differently. I'm sorry if someone was negative towards your breastfeeding question but you have to roll with the punches. Ignore them...they aren't worth your time. Good Luck.


***People who ask questions on this site put themselves out there to positive answers---and to negative. The reason why people keep mentioning negativity against formula feeding is because no matter what you do--people have something negative to say. You could ask about something that requires not opionion such as: "Where can I get a cheaper version of such and such highchair?" You'll get a negative response. If you can not cope with the HONEST answers and opinions given on this site, I suggest you ask your questions to a professional, a doctor or a member of La Leche Team. ***

Answer 4

I don't understand whay ANYONE should be bashing ANYONE. Yes, there are militant breastfeeders who do get in the faces of those who don't. I'm sorry that happens and it does make it hard for us that don't - unfortunately it causes all breastfeeders to be lumped together.
Whenever we try to give advice to a struggling breastfeeder who wants to succeed there is always someone there to throw around that wonderful moniker 'Boob Nazi'. I don't get it. It is solicited advice so there is no reason to mock it.
But I do have to say, I have seen some questions about formula - expense or intolerance questions and there have been breastfeeders who have answered with comments like ' See, that's why you should have breastfed.'
So all I can say is that there are insensitive people no matter which side you are looking at. Sad, very sad.

Answer 5

As a new mother (and therefore new breastfeeding mother) I have asked several questions about breastfeeding and have gotten some negative responses, however they seem to be from the type of people who give negative responses to everything.

However I have responded to negative questions about breastfeeding. One guy asked why women think it is okay to breastfeed in public and women should go in the bathroom to feed.

Why the hell should my baby have to eat on the toilet when no one else does? Americans have just been conditioned to believe it is almost - inappropriate - to feed their children the way we were meant to!

Don't be bothered by the small-minded. They don't understand and probably never will.

Answer 6

Parenting is a touchy thing. There's nothing like that complete, helpless love that you have for your baby- it's world-upending and all-consuming. And we parents are seized by a stong desire not to screw it up.

And it's scary, and it seems like any move we make could be wrong, and then we'd hurt this tiny, most precious little person that somebody thought we were fit to care for.

So when somebody makes a decision that is different than the decision you made (they're breastfeeding, you're formula feeding, they're cloth diapering, you're doing sposies, they're letting their kid run around in the sun, you're doing sunscreen, so on and on and on), the first reaction is to be defensive, to try to justify to yourself that yes, the way you did it *is* okay! You *are* a good parent!

Some breastfeeders really are nasty to bottlefeeders, but more often I see just a defensiveness on the part of formula feeders, born out of that love for their kids. They are blaming that insecurity (they made a different choice! Was my choice okay?) on breastfeeders. No parent wants to feel that they failed their kids, you know? Unfortunately it frequently undermines moms who are trying to breastfeed, which pretty much everyone agrees is best for kids healthwise.

Answer 7

I think that the reverse is true.Breastfeeding mothers continually put down formula fed babies.I'm a grandmother but let me take a moment to offer my "wisdom". I realize the breast milk offers increased benefits to the baby.However some supporters will make some ridiculous claims about it's benefits.The increased intelligence they claim does not factor in genetics which would play a large role in intelligence, hereditary disease, growth and development.As for bonding with your child. BOTH parents bond with their child when they hold him ,feed him and in general love and nurture their child.I believe this can be said about breastfed and formula fed babies ,that if the child is loved he will thrive.Breast milk is not a panacea that prevents all negatives in a child's life as some breastfeeding supporters claim. I do know regardless of how you choose to feed your child,if you don't love your child, he will lose out emotionally and intellectually.

Answer 8

I don't get why anyone would bash breastfeeding - mom's milk is the best for baby and, as a pediatrician once said, "it's good brain food!" Scientific research has shown over and over again that breast IS best for babies during the first year of life. So many women don't want to breastfeed because to them it's an inconvenience, and they get pretty p.o.'d when someone says that. Kind of sad, really.

For some reason, many Americans are grossed out/embarressed by the whole idea of breastfeeding, I guess because in our culture female breasts = sex. (Remember Bush's U.S. Attorney General had to have curtains hung so the press couldn't see a statue with one bared breast?! Weird. Immature!)

So go for it and know that you are doing the best thing for your baby!!

Answer 9

Unfortunately, there are many people in this world that think that there is only one way to do anything, and that is their way. They believe that it is their way or the wrong way in such a blinkered way that they are offended by anyone who has a different approach/opinion. They feel that they have the right to punish other people who do not follow their lead by verbally bashing them and trying to put them down as they do not have a logical reason or do not have the vocabulary to explain why they think the way they do.

If a woman is forcing herself to do something that is not working for her (like breast-feeding) just because she feels she has to, it can be very damaging for the bond between mother and baby. I bottle fed, but will say breast is better if you can do it. Breast feeding a 4 year old and beyond on the other hand, is just wrong.

Answer 10

I think many people are uncomfortable with breastfeeding because somewhere along the way in our screwed up culture, the breast ceased to be a functional reproductive organ and became a sexual object. Screw them!! Breastfeeding is hands down the best thing for the child. Do it as long as you can and forget what people say about it.