Child Custody...?

Question

My boyfriend of almost 1 year has a 7 year old son from a previous marriage which failed 2 years into the marriage. The two of them were both in the Coast Guard together, and he stayed in, and she went back home to Louisiana with his son. He has never had full custody of him, and has always allowed her to have him full time. He pays child support, and is in good standings with the mother. However, she has had reationship problems with her current fiance with whom she just had a baby with. His son has gotten really close with the fiance, and his kids. However, we believe that the son is going through a hard time because he sees his mother hurt. We want him to come and live with us either this summer, or full time because my boyfriend feels like he's really missing out. If any of you have anything similiar to this situation please explain, or give any insights on how to approach the mother about this, without losing the good relationship that they do have.

You don't have to be married to be a good parent...answering to #1

And yes, they do have a good realionship...but they live in different states, it's hard when your in the military

Answer 1

I have 3 children when I got divorce my X did not even ask for custody never even ask for visitation until I got remarired
then all hell brake loss we were divorce for 6years

So what you guys need to do is Talk to the mother
ask her if she will like him to live with you while take care of her relationship problems
if she say yes then she, not you or the father ask the boy if he would like to make a change
offer that if he does he can invite his friends to spent vacations with him to whatever state that you guys live in
These propositon must not come from you (never you )
but form him the father I understand that you care about the child but always remember that the mother might not take it well from you to her you are an outsider
even when your intention are the best
and it seems also that you are not talking about the child needs you are talking about you boyfriend needs
you don't teach a child to run away when time are hard
him moving with his father will not stop him from worried about his mother in fact it will be tha opposite
wath about you do you think you and the father will never have problem and when you do what are you going to do with him
and it took the father 7 years to realized that he is missing out
Stay away from this
you painting him as a good father well let him do what is right toward his son

Answer 2

He is missing out. I know I couldn't go day by day without seeing my children and being in their lives. But it is really great to know that he does want to be in his son's life! First off I don't think he can get custody of his son unless he can prove his ex wife is an unfit mother. She would have to voluntarily give him custody. There isn't going to be an easy way to ask her. He will just have to talk to her and get her feelings on the matter. If anything else he should be able to get him through the summer with no problem. Good luck with everything!

Answer 3

I would say the son is being scarred no matter what happens.
It's a damn shame for him. Sounds like your husbands ex
is a real flake. If she has had full custody up to this point, she won't let him stay for the summer, because she will read between the lines that you are fishing for a full-time situation.
It would all come down to the original custody agreement, and I doubt that a 3-month time frame of visitation is in the agreement, let alone the possibility of full custody. It would have to be her decision.

Answer 4

You don't say anything about the boy's relationship with his father. If they aren't close, you would probably cause more problems for the boy by pushing for custody. Talk to his mom. Perhaps she would be willing to let the boy stay with you on a trial. But, don't make hasty decisions, or jump to conclusions. Just because mom is having some problems with her fiance doesn't mean you guys need to rush in on a white horse and whisk the boy away from everything he knows and loves.

Answer 5

The father needs to fight for his time with his son. Time is key to developing a good relationship. You mention she has him full time but what is the amount and frequency of visitation?

The son is only 7 so he may not want to visit his father but it is not the son's choice, it is the father's right. Propose a long summer visit before ever entertaing the idea of full custody.

Answer 6

you know what?

if you are wanting to 'save' the child- get married first...then do what your heart tells you to do for the safety of the innocent child.

in response to your addition-

yes, being married has everything to do with being a good parent!

Marriage before kids-remember that concept?

Lets say you and your BOYfriend 'hang' out for a while until something breaks ya'll up....

do you really think that is a stable environment for that child you CLAIM to be concerned about?

Seriously- you are not looking for a logical answer here, are you dear.

Answer 7

kill the kid.