I can't help this but I get really hostile towards men when one tries to get close to me or I totally back off,I am okay with them been friends but it stops there,how can I stop this????
2006-09-11 03:42:58 · 17 answers · asked by Laila 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
Hi…
Welcome to Yahoo7 Answers…
I checked your profile in the hope of finding out how old you are, and I noticed that this is your only question so far.
I hope you get the answers you are looking for !!!
Unfortunately, I couldn’t find out how old you are, so I will push on without that knowledge…
It is a shame that you feel that way about men (I’m assuming you mean ‘males’ in general), because I believe the majority of us can be trusted !!!
I’m wondering if perhaps there might be something in your subconscious past that may be causing you to feel that way?
I’m not a psychologist or anything, but I would suspect if you were perhaps a victim of ‘child sexual abuse’ (quite possibly buried in your subconscious, from a young age) then your fear or apprehension toward getting close to men, would be very understandable !!!
Without knowing how old you are, I’m not too sure as to what advice I should try to give you, except that you do need to talk to someone who is qualified to help you deal with your problem, and determine what may have caused your apprehension to begin.
A counsellor or psychologist are perhaps the best qualified to help you in that regard.
Perhaps you may even be aware of something in your past that may have caused you to feel the way you do about men. If you know that you have been abused in the past, then you really do need to talk to someone about it, and perhaps even consider taking legal action.
Talk to someone who you believe you can trust, and hopefully, they’ll be able to help you.
Sorry I can’t be of more help !!!
2006-09-11 03:49:16 · answer #1 · answered by I_C_Y_U_R 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
have you been hurt in the past? Are you afraid of getting hurt maybe? You have to leave go of your inhibitions and think of how good a relationship might be. All you can do is weigh up the pros and the cons of what you're doing toward these men by turning hostile - chances are they'll be way more pros going for giving it a chance! Good luck
2006-09-11 11:11:39 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Trust in someone can only develop when you are both on the same wave-length. If you are able to establish a rapport with them, then trust will follow. If you behave in a hostile way towards other people, they will treat you in the same way normally. I realise you may have been hurt by other guys before, but not every man you meet will be the same. Good Luck.
2006-09-11 10:48:59 · answer #3 · answered by Fragile Rock 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Is it possible that there were key men in your life (father, ex-husband, uncle, brother, etc) who were untrustworthy to you or some other family member? Usually, this type of reaction to an entire group of people is the result of some trauma that you experienced directly, trauma that you observed (e.g., dad beating up mom) or from brainwashing (like if your mom repeatedly complained about how men suck and are untrustworthy). Sounds like it's time for some serious introspection on your part.
2006-09-11 10:46:12 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
I'm the same with women. You are probably a tender hearted person who's afraid to get hurt. Unfortunately love is for the brave.
2006-09-11 10:45:02 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are right not to trust people who push themselves on you when you are not ready.
Men are dogs sometimes, they think with their dick.
You must train them that you are the Master and they must
respect you. . . . or else!
There is nothing wrong with you to set limits and boundries with pushy people, especially aggressive men.
Find a man who is a true gentleman and you won't feel that way.
If you have ever been sexually or emotionally abused during your childhood, this will always be an issue.
get a good therapist to look at this peice with you. short term
you will be glad you did, and it will only make you stronger and
more in touch with your needs. good luck!
2006-09-11 10:50:21 · answer #6 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Because you probably had a bad experience with one once ... or maybe they all just tried to get in your panties too quickly?
Other than that I reckon you might just have lesbian tendencies - we're not all bad you know!
2006-09-11 11:41:50 · answer #7 · answered by Marinersfan 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stop doing it. Its that simple. If you cant then maybe you need to go to some kind of therapy or a phycoligest (wrong spelling i know)
2006-09-11 10:50:32 · answer #8 · answered by rockinbrock2000 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
well i would suggest it as to do with your relationship with ur father or u were abused by a male sometime in ur life. seek therapy if this is the case this will help
2006-09-11 10:46:27 · answer #9 · answered by tinkerbell 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Dont... men are fun to have around sometimes, but not all that necessary. You are probably the kind of person who builds walls around yourself - NOT TO block people out- But to see who will knock those walls down. Good luck!
2006-09-11 10:45:03 · answer #10 · answered by Angel Eve 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋