Should they be 18 or 21 with a curfew? Are they ever too old for things like that, even if they live at home?
2006-09-11 03:31:41 · 10 answers · asked by Chris D 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
No, kids should be treated according to their maturity that they exhibit. You want kids to grow up faster, set higher expectations.
2006-09-11 03:34:02 · answer #1 · answered by Know it all 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I can answer that one from a parents perspective. If you are 18 or 21 you still owe your parents the respect of not waking them up at all hours of the night. Our son who is now 21 moved out at 20. When he came into the house no matter what the hour it always woke us up. The dogs would wake up and bark and following the barking had to be taken out to the bathroom which meant my having to get up , get dressed and take them out. Some parents just want the respect of a curfew if you are living in their home. If you are away at school many dorms have curfews so you don't disturb other people who also need their sleep. I think a midnight curfew would be a little radical but you really have to take other peoples rights into consideration especially if you are living in their house.
2006-09-11 03:39:14 · answer #2 · answered by oldmomma 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think that while there may be boundaries set for everyone's comfort, a 21 yr old is NOT a child! Parents need to know when to let go and allow their kids to grow up. A curfew works only up to age 17. After that you can both discuss going out and returning at an hour that does not upset the household and cause unnnecessary worry.
Peace & Blessings.
2006-09-11 03:39:13 · answer #3 · answered by Nubienne 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If the children live in your house still at whatever age, then they should be willing to live by your rules. Each family is different. I have always had curfew with my three boys. My oldest is married now (2 years) and is 27; I have an 18 year old and 14 year old still at home. None of the boys objected to a curfew because they knew we were doing them a favor by allowing them to continue living in our home.
2006-09-11 03:35:06 · answer #4 · answered by flutter_butter_fly 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It depends on their level of responsibility. You should not go by age. If you want the kids to move out and get their own place then making curfews etc is great. It motivates them to get their own place so you can have your house to yourself. On the other hand if you enjoy having them live there and they come in quietly and keep their rooms clean and make you breakfast and even buy groceries and toilet paper for the house, then you might want them to stay and not make a curfew. Usually it depends on the level of responsibility they are taking how you make the rules, and what you want to happen.
2006-09-11 03:34:55 · answer #5 · answered by BonesofaTeacher 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
yeah i dont think a responsible 21 year old needs a cerfew...even if they do live in your home ... i lived at home till i was 32 should i have had a cerfew just because i lived at home ...no.....just because i didnt have money because I got married at an early age and had kids and divorced doesnt mean i am irresponsible now....i was just in a rough patch ...you have an odd way of thinking that i can say....and if they are 18 i would also say you can no longer control their lives...weather you like it or not...and if you dont ...that is when you tell them to move out....if you cant do that tough love then you dont love them....and didnt raise them right
2006-09-11 03:41:08 · answer #6 · answered by fantasia91273 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can't say I'll have a revolving door if my 21 year old still lives with me, but I will ask that she/he respects everyone else by coming in at a decent hour.
2006-09-11 03:35:01 · answer #7 · answered by ok 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I think the best is for you to 'befriend' your kids, get to know them well... recognize their characteristics. And that way you yourself will get to decide when are they matured enough to take more responsibilty... You shouldn't be too harsh or too leniant with your kids, they might rebel or take advantage of it... So, follow your intuitiont! Trial and error are parts of parenting!
2006-09-11 03:37:28 · answer #8 · answered by shuddupfirst 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
treating your children too much like "kids" can actually do more damage than good, because they'll move out on their own and they won't know how to take care of themselves. Plus, from my own personal experience, I know that imposing strict rules and guidelines on adult children WILL cause them to rebel, and I'm sure you don't want that!
2006-09-11 03:36:16 · answer #9 · answered by j_conway83 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i think that should depend on their maturity level,if they act like a child then treat them like one
2006-09-11 03:35:13 · answer #10 · answered by cute1 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋