i think my husbands secretary fancies him?

Question

when ever i phone at work she always acts as if she doesnt know who i am, plus when he tells me what they have talked about, she seems way too familiar. I suppose it could all be in my head but i got this gut feeling and i don't like it.
If i am gonna be honest i am much better looking(lol) but i am getting paranoid and jealous now, why did i turn into such a psycho?

Answer 1

Before jumping to too many conclusions and imagining more than can be reasonably done right now, how about sharing your thoughts with you husband at a relaxed, opportune moment at home some day. He may know exactly what your talking about and may even feel a little uncomfortable with her himself. Some women in the work place 'assume' or 'wish' they have more closeness (professional or otherwise) to a boss than they really do.

Inquire with tact first....before allowing your thoughts to get the best of you.

Answer 2

I think you know you're a little over board on this issue. You sound like a wonderful woman, wife, and mother. I am wondering if you're a little jealous of this woman? I mean she gets to be out of the house and with your husband all day. Of course it's a little natural to be jealous or even annoyed at this woman. I am sure he lied only because he wanted to avoid a fight. No, he shouldn't have lied but, honeslty, he was in a spot...I'm sure you can see and understand that too. My advice? Maybe take some more time to be with your husband. Try dates every weekend. This can be a time to appricate each other. You probably should talk to your husband about this and explain you in no way are blaming him or giving fault...which is why you want to start re-connecting and having fun together again. Maybe in the choas of 5 kids you've both forgot to really bond as a couple. Maybe that will help to get a sitter and take time out as a couple. Good luck!

Answer 3

First of all, it is a matter of trust. Do you trust your husband? The secretary can't do anything without his approval. People in the work place do have a tendency to become close without an affair happening. They spend 8 plus hours together and sometimes talk about things that you would not talk about to a stranger. Just the very fact that your husband is telling what they are talking about may mean that there is nothing going on because if there were he may refuse to even mention her name to not arouse suspicion that there may be something going on. You must look at other signals like, is he spending good quality time with you? How is your love making? Has he changed since this secretary came on the scene? These are all determining questions that you must ask yourself, You do not want to accuse your husband of something that he may not be doing. Furthermore, you don't want to needlessly upset yourself with something that isn't occurring. Asking him or confronting the secretary isn't the answer either because neither will admit to you that something is going on. Just look for changes in him, that will be your only determining factor. As far as looks are concerned they haven't much to do with a man cheating, as long as she looks decent thats all that will matter. Men don't cheat for better looks, they cheat for something different. Good Luck in your marriage.

Answer 4

If she doesn't know who you are she can't be very bright and if she isn't very bright, she can't be a good secretary. Maybe your husband needs to reprimand her if she is rude to you. Many secretaries fall in love with their bosses, who are a big part of their lives, but it's rarely reciprocated. Maybe you can have a chat with your husband and ask if he can arrange for an "office reshuffle" so he gets another secretary and someone else gets his current secretary. Apart from the issue with you, does your husband seem generally satisfied with her work?

Certainly don't let the secretary see that you are jealous as it may lead her to believe that you "know your husband is in love with her" and she will just become more confident and bold, and redouble her efforts. Don't give her the satisfaction of thinking she has upset you. Be charming to her on the phone and even slightly patronising, playing the part of the boss's wife who takes it for granted she's superior to the secretary, who after all is just a dog's body. Act as if you haven't noticed anything is wrong. This will really get up her nose and may lead her into betraying herself and give your husband the ideal opportunity to get rid of her.

Answer 5

Am sure that you're only jealous with the secretary. Its only norml for a good secretary to know and protect their boss..

Just trust or learn to trust your husband ..and there could be no anxieties and worries on your part. I know you know well your husband than the secretary..

But of course make an audit or a check sometimes..

Answer 6

All men fancy their secretary unless as in my case she is older bigger and in my case uglier (which is quite a feat) than them.

In a close working relationship thing often seem a bit strange because your husband is with her 8 hours a day which is more time than he spends awake with you

You unlike a lot of women I have met are probably not going Psycho about it simply because you recognise that the feelings you have a re a bit strange

If I were you i would tell your husband about your gut feelings and get him to disprove it, if nothing else it will get his guard up

all men flirt some outrageously, but there is nothing wrong in making your feelings known to your husband and see how he reacts

If you decide to bin him give me a shout, I am quite nice and once you see my secretary you would feel very safe

Alternatively I am prepared to rent her out to your husband

Answer 7

My husband told me his secretary looked like an "old spinster" who wore long, shapeless skirts and no makeup. We took her and her husband out for dinner since I had not met her and she looked nothing like he had described. She had on a fitted sweater, skinny jeans, makeup and a modern haircut with hi-lights. Also during the course of lunch she talked about how men of a different culture fancied her because she was "a fuller woman" in the hip and *** area. She is middle aged but some am I. I agree with Marinersfan, at the end of the day "a man still has to contend with his smaller "head".

Answer 8

Have you ever meet her?

What kind of person is she?

Second, its not all about looks ........maybe they share the same things or like to do the same things... looks are nothing... you could be very pretty and have a mind of a monkey......what you need to do is talk to your husband and find out what is going on... or hire a PI....you can not get up all in this womans face with out any real true facts.....this is her job.... maybe she thinks you are a snob thats why she acts that way when you call......the person you need to talk to is your husband.. there is nothing wrong with being jealous everyone gets jealous sometimes.......think about this one long and hard b/c if you are wrong think about what his office will be saying about you after that ...


Good Luck

Answer 9

It might be something you need to discuss with your husband. Tell him that you're not trying to be paranoid but that her indifference to you and your knowledge of their conversation topics has you a bit uneasy. If he's worth it and is an understanding husband, he will see that it's difficult for a woman to know that her husband shares a majority of his day with another woman and could possibly grow close to her. It's not an unheard of scenario and it's not unreasonable to have skeptical feelings. But don't hide them from your husband. You'll start to act weird and paranoid, and eventually you will push him away. You don't want that to happen, so communicate.

Answer 10

Hmmm. I used to work with my other half, and that still didn't stop some s l u t from our accounts department draping herself over his desk every day. He wasn't interested in the slightest but I was a complete basket case about it, thinking there was something going on. I stapled her hand to her desk and she left him alone, but if it's causing you real problems you need to talk to your husband, no matter how much of a nutter you think you sound. And if it helps, make a big deal on the phone to her when you call and drum it into her head that you are his wife, and she needs to get her attitude sorted.