When were you ready for the next baby?

Question

I come from a big family and I always thought I'd have kids, at least 2, maybe more. But 3 months ago I had a baby boy and the adjustment has just been HUGE. And he's a really easy happy baby (healthy, thank goodness). I'm turning 36, dh 38, and we think we're done with just the one, maybe we're too tired at our ages! But friends of mine say it's too soon to know if we'll want more. When were you ready for your next one?

Answer 1

Your baby is too young to make a decision about future children. You are tired and your hormones are all over the place and a new baby takes alot of attention. Just give it some time and then decide. You don't have to sit and figure out your entire life right now.
At the same time, don't be disappointed if you do decide to just have one child. Life is constantly changing and what you thought would be a perfect family years ago may not fit in with what is going on now.
Make sure you keep the idea of future children open and don't have your tubes tied or anything like that until you are certain.

I got pregnant with my 2nd when the first was 4 years old. Then with my third when my 2nd was 4 1/2. My 4th came when my 3rd child was just 22 months.

Don't worry, you will know when the time is right if you do decide to have more children.
Congrats on the birth of your baby.

Answer 2

Oh honey, I have two boys--2 1/2 years old and 14 months old, and I STILL don't think I'm ready for my 14 month old. LOL :)

It might be too soon for you. Right now, you still have some residual hormones from pregnancy left over and floating around. (One of the reason so many women immediately want another baby after giving birth.) They won't disappear from your body completely until about 6 months post-partum.

It's really up to you. If you're happy with one, good! If you think you want one or two more, good! Just bear in mind that just because this baby you have now is so sweet and well behaved and wonderful--wait until he starts teething, and gets his first cold and refuses to/can't sleep because he feels so crummy, or develops his temper and starts having fits because he can't have a toy from the toy store or some candy. It could be that he'll be an angel from day one to the last day of his life. Doesn't mean your subsequent children will be like this. My younger son is the exact opposite of his brother. I can tell you now...if he had been born first, my husband and I would probably have been content at having an only child. :) Of course I love him dearly--that's a given, but he's SO clingy and fussy and needy. His older brother, on the other hand, was a dream as an infant. He's been Mr. Independence practically from day one.

Answer 3

Well I have a 3 1/2 year old son and just gave birth to a beautiful little girl two weeks ago. I think once the potty training was done and my son started to seem like such a big boy and was getting ready to start preschool we felt like it was a good time to add to the family. It has been a HUGE adjustment the past couple weeks as we had been so used to getting a full night of SLEEP and now we are back to getting none! However, I couldn't be happier with our decision and the timing and I just keep reminding myself that eventually I WILL sleep again!!! :)

Answer 4

We were told we couldn't have children. 9 years ago I gave birth to my son, 2 1/2 years later, I gave birth to my daughter and 2 1/2 years after that I gave birth to my other daughter. I was shocked with all three births and I love the 2 1/2 years apart from the three. Although, I might have waited maybe for 3 years between each one but I didn't decide that factor....the Lord did. I always think that you should have a least 2 children so they have each other and after you are gone in life they won't be left alone. I think that you should wait a little bit longer and then see how you feel. Every child is a big adjustment but they all are a gift from God.

Answer 5

I'm sooooo tired of people telling me that I can't say I'm done now that I've had my first. I'm 33 and my son is now 2 months old. It's not so much that it's been difficult to adjust to having him around, but I had such a difficult pregnancy, ending in an emergency c-section. My son is absolutely gorgeous and he's healthy (Thank God!) despite the difficulties.

For me, it comes down to safety and risk factors. I'm already considered high risk for pregnancy. Not to mention that the risks increase after age 35 and that's about when we'd be trying again. I just don't think it's fair to risk the health of the baby or my own (if I'm not healthy for our children, what's the point?). We're calling it quits now that our son is here safe and sound.

Choosing to have a child is a completely personal matter and one best left up to the two people who know what they can handle the best.... you and your spouse! Good luck and congratulations on your son!

Answer 6

I thought the same as you. I was 35 when I had my first child and I thought I would never do this again, only for about the first 6 weeks then it gets easier. I am now 25 weeks and have a 22 month old at home and I am 37 and I am so excited. But I will probably change my mind for the first 6 weeks again. I Love being a mother and I love to wake up with my son and soon my daughter. But I am done now for sure.

Answer 7

I had my daughter at 19. After her dad and I split up I thought I would never have another one but when I was 24 I found out I was pregnant for the second time. I was surprised and didn't think I was ready. But now he is 7 months and a pure joy. I don't think you're ever really truly ready to have more kids but when it happens it just works out. I know now that I am definitely done with having kids though. 2 is enough for me.

Answer 8

I had my first when I was 35 and I was so overwhelmed and exhausted I wondered if I did the right thing with the first one. I do believe that a person in there thirties or more may have issues with being a parent especially because of the sleep deprivation, but it is definitely too early to make that call. After about a few months I was getting in the groove, getting more sleep and really starting to enjoy parenting. AT first I thought I wanted to run away I was so tired. Sleep deprivation makes you think all kinds of weird things so my advice is to work out something with your hubby and/or friends and relatives so that you can catch up on your sleep from time to time. Once your baby starts sleeping all night (at about six to nine months....seems like a long time I know, but the time will fly by) then you will feel human again and your energy levels will return. Sleep is a very important thing.

I knew I was ready for the next one when my oldest turned a year old. I enjoyed her so much because she was talking up a storm, learning, walking, exploring. She was so darn cute and so amazing to me that I couldn't imagine not having more. Besides I didn't want an only child. I grew up with two brothers (we are like the three musketeers ...our parents insisted that we get along and not fight, but that's another parenting lesson) and my husband grew up as the oldest of seven. I'm sure there are times he wishes he was the only child, but it's a great time when we all get together. Both of us have so many funny stories to tell about growing up and the adventures we had with our siblings. How sad for a child to not know what it means to share with a sibling, protect one another from bullies, be eachothers friend when no one else will, to have adventures when no one else around, to talk on walkie talkies under the covers when we are supposed to be sleeping, to tell stories to our kids about vacations and mishaps. I couldn't imagine a better life. Don't cut your child off from the amazing relationships developed with siblings, at least one anyway. You will get your energy back. Just don't fall in love with that baby so much that you find yourself thinking that you can't love another. It is possible and it's amazing.

I have two babies now and I believe I may be pregnant with my third (or third and fourth if my 3 year old gets her way). I'm 39 now and the sleepless nights I am dreading a bit, but I'm so excited about a new addition. I think I might be done after this one, but I'll never say never again because I don't know until I'm there. Of course, if we have another girl...we might close the factory down. That's a lot of weddings, college education, expensive clothes, hair styles, and extras that we will have to try to pay for over the next 20 years of so. Besides my poor hubby...that's a whole bunch of PMS and estrogen for one man to handle. :)

If you want some ideas for getting babies to sleep through the night shoot me a reply. It's a process, but it's worth it if you can get them to sleep all night early on.

Answer 9

I have been ready for another baby since my son was born seven months ago. I want to have three...and I would like them to be close together. I really didn't have much of an ajustment--I guess I prepared myself to having children and never really enjoyed my life the way I do now before I had my son. My mom had my sister and I only a year and twenty-four days apart. She actually said it was easier because we could do everything together...chicken pox, day care, school, we played with the same toys, she didn't have to occupy the older one while the younger one was screaming...etc. It is a personal choice and if you aren't ready to have another--or don't want another--that's your decision. It's not a bad thing to feel tired having one child.

Answer 10

My son is two...and I want another one. I went through spurts when mine was like 9 months old...where I wanted another, then the next day I'd be like..ahh heck no! I've had feelings off and on since I had my son, but now I know I want one.
My son's at the perfect age..he's a very smart 2 year old, talks a lot, very helpful(almost too helpful) with everything..from laundry to sweeping to mowing the lawn with his father!! he walks the whole yard with his own little lawn mower with his father every week.
For us, having one sooner we wondered if we wouldn't give this one all the attention he needs..my husband still isn't 100% sure, so we're still holding off yet..but I'm itching now..
so i'll say I was ready when my son is two.
Hope this helps, and good luck with this!!!