my wife wants to have a night out with some one for a change?

Question

We are a happily married couple, and very open to discussion. Lately she has been asking me to let her have a night out for a change, I know, she will return back to me, I know we love each other.

But still I am confused as what to say to her, if I say “yes, you may”, will I be sounding too unconcerned or should I say “if you want to” or stop her completely and end the conversation.

And I know the person very well, whom she wants to have a night out with.

Thank you for your comments. But after reading all, I guess, I have not conveyed the complete message

Well don’t we all have old time friends, we boys we have school time buddies (girls), whom we never want to loose, and try to keep in touch, sex here is a secondary matter

Some times we are grown with friends, with whom we never think of marriage, but we still are very close friends.

So the same here, she has a school time friend (male) and she wants to spend night and day with him. I know, sex might pop up. But they have been together since childhood, sex might have happened previously also. I don’t mean that if it happened before then it is ok if it happens again. But her point here is to spend some time with an old buddy for a change she wants to spend even night with him.

Should I still allow her to have some fun time with him? I am an open minded person, and I know I will never raise a finger or even ask her the details of the fun time.

Answer 1

I can't believe you even have to ask if you should let your wife out for a night!! This is the 21st Century. Women who are married are not chained to their husbands. I am married and my husband and I go out seperately all the time. We have very independant lives as we are both very career orientated, but we still have a very loving relationship and enjoy every minute we spend together. Let your wife go out - it will do more good than harm

Answer 2

At first I thought she just wanted the night out to hang out with her friends and just have a good time. I was all for it until I realized what you meant. Obviously if your wife wants to be with someone else, you are NOT a "happily" married couple. As a married couple you shouldn't even be having this conversation but since you are I think you need to dig a little deeper. She may have you believing that she is happy but something isn't right. If anything she lacks respect for you. She is basically asking permission to have an affair. If you say no she will probably do it behind your back because something has gone wrong.You both need to get to the root of the problem! I can't imagine my husband asking if he could have the night out with a girl! I am sorry this is happening to you and I wish you all the luck.

Answer 3

I see it as an open door for allowing problems to brew in your marriage if it involves going out with another man. Even if your wife will never break your trust and betray you, that does not necessarily involve the other guy whom you say you know very well...
But if it's a girls night out, and free from any wild parties, I don't see why you shouldn't. It'll be a change for you both and few hours break from each other will only cause the hearts to grow fonder.

Answer 4

In Biblical christianity such practices are not allowed. However, it might help if you donot just give a yes or no answer. You may let her know that you are not trying to be a dictator, ignoring her feelings and urges but that such activity would trivialize the whole ideal of true marriage. It might also help if you look inwards and inquire from her areas where you must have failed her as a husband. Be willing to make amends and build back the relationship.

Answer 5

Somehow this question reeks of a catch 22 situ. damned if u do...damned if u dont. Its not about freedom to decide. That doesnt seem to be the problem. The two of u have enough things going .. for her to be able to ask u in the first place. so what next? well...if u wanted to have casual sex with someone...would u ask ur wife's consent or just go ahead with it? if u asked...and ur wife agreed...would u feel let down? is this part of an agreement that u have... 'want something-ask for it' kind? what ever be the case... a woman rarely has a casual fling... generally there r emotions involved...and if that is the case...buddy boy...ur in big trouble!!! so wake up!!

Answer 6

She may end up resenting you if you stop her - afterall she is an adult in her own right and is not seeking your permission but probably wants to check how you feel about the situation.

I don't see it being a trust issue - i am sure you both trust each other, but I think you want to know why she suddenly wants to go out? Is it just the once or will it be every week? Have you been invited too? Would she like you to take her out more? Does she just fancy having an excuse to get dressed up and go to a party or a bar? Have you asked her these questions?

It really depends whether this person is a woman or a man. If it was a woman then why not? I do not see a problem with it unless it becomes a regular occurance - say every week or more. Perhaps she simply getting dressed up and going out -but if she wanted to do this regularly then you would have to wonder whether she just missed the single life.

If it is a man then why would she want to have a night out with him? If he was just a friend then surely he could come over for dinner to see both of you or she could meet him for lunch or coffee during the day? I would be very suspicious if she wanted to go on a 'night out' with him. You could test the water by saying innocently 'oh what if I came out with a couple of my friends too and we all made a night of it?' . If you were not invited to join them then you should be worried about.

I have a male friend who occassionally texts me to see if I want to meet for a night out to catch up with him, but we always arrange it so that we meet while he happens to be out with his friends and I happen to be on a night out with my boyfriend and my boyfriend's friends, so our respective groups can meet at a given bar and we can get to know one another, or I can just chat to my friend for a while and leave with my boyfriend at the end of the night.

Answer 7

I guess it all depends on your (both you and your wife) definition of a night out. Is it a night out of the home, say eating a meal with friends of hers? Or a night in the arms of a stranger?

Its a bit difficult to comment on this without knowing what you seem to have the issue with, if it's just a problem for you that your wife wants to leave the house for a few hours without you...I'd say wake up and smell the coffee, you're livinging in the 21st Century and women go out on their own all the time.

If its a case of her wanting to have casual sex with someone else, then may be you need to sit down and talk this through with her, rather than posting for advice on here, its your marriage and up to the pair of you to decide on its limits and boundaries.

Answer 8

What??? if you are truly a happy married couple then why would your wife want to spend an evening with another man.??? You say for a change?? a change of what. If this person is just a friend and as been her friend for years , then yeah maybe . If its a person that you just know i would find out from him what the hell have you been saying to my wife and what the hell are you doing either way I would ask that person out of respect for you ,your marriage and your wife to simply disappear out a word. Man to Man

Answer 9

Not trying to sound mean, but who are you to tell her what she can and can't do? She is a growen women. As long as it is not another man she is going out with.Just let her know you will be there waiting when she gets home, and if she needs anything while she is out to call you . If you act like a father to her then you will end up loosing her. Say if that is what you want to do that is fine with me hope you have a good time . As she is leaving tell her you love her and to be careful. When she ask you, she is trying to be nice.As long as this going out is not with another man. Good Luck

Answer 10

It depends if this night out includes sex with someone else. If she's planning on going out to have sex, I would say no, because you know it wouldn't just end there. She'd start to have feelings for this other person, and it would lead to the end of your marriage.