Okay, I've been on birth control for almost a year, and recently I've really been thinking about having a baby. I spoke with my husband and he really doesn't like the idea, and I really, really take what he says in all seriousness, but it still just seems like the perfect time.
Sometimes I think he wants things to be 'perfect' first, which nothing is ever perfect. Anyhow, today he agrees that I can stop taking birth control, and I'm ecstatic. But he's not so happy, and that bothers me. More than anything, he's worrying.
Would it be best just to put off pregnancy until he's ready or should we go ahead and start trying. A part of me is thinking I should put off what I want until our whole 'family' is ready. But that kind of kills a part of me inside.
Thoughts, suggestions, ideas?
2006-09-11 01:44:56 · 18 answers · asked by Tea_Girl 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
I would discuss the situation further with your husband and find out why he seems to be not so happy.....
Men (not all, but some) worry about having children more than most women do.... Men were brought up to believe they are to be the "PROVIDER" for the household, and he may just be apprehensive about the cost portion... He may want a child, but is not sure if yall can handle it financially???? If you go ahead and quit taking your birth control without the two of you being in complete agreement over the situation, it may cause friction in the marriage later.....
You need to HEAR him out, and really understand his feelings, and WHY he has the feelings he has, and he needs to do the same for you..... You may find out that right now really isnt the right time...
Or, he may find out that right now is the right time!!!!!!
Best of Luck!!!!!
2006-09-11 02:26:31 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First you have to define what "ready" means. Some people think they need more money, or a bigger home, things like that. In that case you'll never "be ready". Everyone worries about these things. Men tend to freak out over the added responsibility. The thought of supporting a full fledged "family" can cause a lot of anxiety. Most everyone I know has experienced this. The only thing that would cause you to reconsider is someone who flat out does not want kids. This can cause problems down the road. So if he's cool with the idea, wants kids, and wants to be a father, tell him to go for it. Everything will work itself out, it always does. People have kids who are a lot less ready for it than you two! Good luck.
2006-09-11 09:20:05 · answer #2 · answered by Mike 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
There is never a perfect time to have a child. There will always be something that will come up. Everyone thinks that they know what perfect is until a child then what they thought was perfect becomes something else. Mainly cause you look at things threw different eyes. If you think that he will come around then got for it. If you heart tells you that once he sees your child then he will be wrapped around there finger then go for it. If you think that he never will then wait. I know that when I was caring my first I had a lot worries but I wanted the child and knew that I would find a way to get over the worries. When I saw my child that is when I knew that things would be alright and so did my husband.
2006-09-11 09:04:39 · answer #3 · answered by sscott12414 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
You didn't list your age, or the circumstances of your marriage. If you're both very young and are just starting your careers, it would make sense to wait until you're more established financially before you have children. It's a huge responsibility, and it'll fall on your husband to be the "breadwinner" if you spend time with the kids. If you're older, and/or it's unlikely that your financial/career situation will be changing significantly in the next few years - then I would agree with you; might as well start trying for a kid now, being that you're both getting older, and not much will be changing. It really depends on several factors, and on why is it that your husband is not comfortable with this at the moment.
2006-09-11 09:09:48 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not ready right now, I would wait maybe another year. Maybe you and him can sit down and pick a day in a year for you to stop taking you birth control. Good luck I hope everything works out for the both of you.
2006-09-11 09:08:48 · answer #5 · answered by jeter2 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
ok ! i understand u
well first of all, i need to know about ur income. is it ready for a 3rd person(child)? he works but wat about u?
IF he leaves u CAN YOU look a baby by urslef???(that is very important!!!)
a normal man LOVES a baby,but WAT problem has ur husband? ASK and LEARN, respect him or tell him he is not right.
during ur prgnancy u NEED a man who loves u,and he shoul NOT turn his bak to u..
i hope everything goes well ! ! !
and lady how old r u? if u r over 35,MAKE ur child NOW.NOW.NOW.
if he is much older then u then MAKE it NOW also. think about the age difference between ur child and his father!!
dont wait !!
if u both r about 20 then wait Lady.
but if u r 22-32 then u can wait a lil bit more,enjoy ur husband wit about a baby.
a baby can make u closer, BUT it CAn be stressful also.
think carefully. take care of ur health ! u can wait a lil bit more until ur husband is ok.
u say u hv been married 1 yr ago. so enjoy ur marriage a time more.
( if u r not marriied,such is common now a days NEEVVERR think about doing a child from a bf!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
anyway. HE SHOULD BE HAPPY ALSO..
i hope he is not cheating on u!
i wish u well..... dont worry,everythng will good in the future.
kiss.
2006-09-11 08:57:24 · answer #6 · answered by she-ra 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Babe you should so have a baby whn the both of you are ready to be responsible parents, take some time off drop the subject fr the time being, bring it up a few months later. good luck,
2006-09-11 09:38:29 · answer #7 · answered by haboba13 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wait and he'll come around to the idea pretty soon... It took me four years to agree with my wife. It is better if you both want it...
(it makes it that much more special when trying)
2006-09-11 09:41:50 · answer #8 · answered by BORED AT WORK 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
it takes two people to make a baby and if you come off the pill and don't tell him, he'll most likely hold it against you. wait until you are both ready, it will come in time.
2006-09-11 09:24:50 · answer #9 · answered by Hetty 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
sweets even off your pill it may take months b4 you and he finally conceive a child :) only time will tell and maybe he is ready and just don't realise he is males are funny like that
2006-09-11 08:49:16 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋