If your kid came home from school"sick"after 1 hour would you punish them?Our parents did!See details!

Question

I just drove my 16 year old to school,barely got home and got a call she was sick,My Mom made us stay in bed all day and only could use the bathroom,no T.V,no playing.I say no cell,text messaging and no computer,it is cramps for goodness sakes,her Dad says I am mean!!!

My daughter and I talk about everything,she is a bit of a hypochondriac!She has been checked for endometriosis!

Oh always a know it all like Endo,I mean she has cramps as in felt good enough to hang with freinds all night,go roller skating add to a party where she was on a trampoline,I love my daughter beyond measure but parents know when their child is sick,she is very spoiled and is a natural actress and has thought she had avian flu and any thing she reads about,I get the feeling you do not have kids!

Answer 1

Outstanding.

Kids need to know they won't profit from pulling strokes.

If you are being mean, it's the best kind of mean on the planet and testimony to your good parenting skills.

In my none-too-humble opinion, of course.

Answer 2

I don't think it's a "punishment," but I insist my kids lie on the "sick" couch all day. They can watch tv or movies but no games, etc, and they have to take a nap. If they're really feeling lousy it's not a bad thing. If they're actually well enough for school, it stinks!

Now for my two cents / diagnosis of your daughter's cramps. I had intense cramping pain as a teenager. It was so severe I couldn't sleep and would lie on the floor in a fetal position. Once, my mom brought me to the e.r., where they almost did an appendectomy. I was checked for ovarian cysts, etc, but it was actually mittelschmerz. I had several horribly painful episodes until it stopped.

Answer 3

If the kid is too sick to be at school then she shouldnt be able to do anything for that day except stay at home and take whatever remedy is available. But if it is just cramps, get her some midol or pamprin and send her butt back to school...she isnt really sick...but I dont see any reason why a kid couldnt watch tv while being sick at home, I guess that would depend on if you think they are faking it. Otherwise, I dont see the harm in it or letting them using their cell ph... Because its no fun being sick, so if it makes their day a little better while they are, then why not? No one likes to be sick...

Answer 4

When I was 16, I got very, very bad cramps. I used to wake up in the middle of the night crying. So, I can understand how your daughter may feel, but I think no cell and no computer is not too bad. You're still letting her watch tv, that's all she needs. Plus, what does she need her cell for? Her friends should be in school anyway.

Answer 5

I don't see that as a punishment, because had she stayed in school would she have been able to do all those things? Why reward that behavior with privileges? I thinks it is fair. If I ever came home sick my mom did the same thing except for the following 2 days I wasn't allowed out of the house.

Answer 6

If she is sick and her cramps are 'that' bad...then she should be sleeping it off. Give her a couple midol, take away the tv and all other entertainment except books. I'm guessing next month she'll be fine during her period. Hey - if you don't teach her now, she'll be one of those slackers who calls in sick for the most minor thing.

Of course, if she has some illness like endometriosis where her cramps are like ultra awful and such, then she needs to see a doctor, but it sounds like shes acting like a baby

Answer 7

I think this is less about what the girl is allowed to do while home sick and more about your treatment of her illness. The attitude that "it's cramps, for goodness' sake!" implies that cramps which debilitate a young woman are somehow normal - they *aren't*, and are a sign that something is *wrong*. It is also hard to see someone suffering from such pain and cramping being called a "hypocondriac" by her own mother. When you say "checked for Endometriosis," I assume you mean surgically, since the disease can *only* be diagnosed through surgery - anyone telling you different has no clue about this disease. I further assume you mean surgically checked for it by a highly skilled gynecologic endoscopist who has advanced training in Endometriosis and can recognize and treat it in all manifestations and locations, rather than performing cursory diagnostic laps for the popular powderburn lesions only in between delivering babies, etc. That said, she still is experiencing debilitating pain, which is abnormal. Get a second opinion and a third, fourth and fifth until you get an answer and helpful treatment for her. If she is missing school, etc. the cramps are far worse than the "normal" uterine cramping and dysmenorrhea associated with periods, particularly in the younger woman. Did you know that despite being mistakenly minimized as "painful periods," Endometriosis is more than just "killer cramps" - it is also a leading cause of female infertility, chronic pelvic pain and gynecologic surgery, and accounts for more than half of the 500,000 hysterectomies performed in the US annually. Despite being more prevalent than breast cancer, Endometriosis continues to be treated as an insignificant ailment, particularly because some people believe cramps are normal and "part of being a woman." Did you also know that recent studies have shown an elevated risk of certain cancers and other serious illnesses in those with the disease, as well as malignant changes within the disease itself? And most importantly, recent studies have also shown that Endometriosis in fact has an even bigger impact on *younger patients* than older women. One such study discovered that in patients under 22 years of age, the rate of disease recurrence was double that of older women (35% versus 19%). The study also revealed that the disease behaves differently in younger women; leading some researchers to believe it is a different form of Endometriosis altogether. Surgery, necessary to accurately diagnose and effectively treat the disease, is often withheld from younger patients based on the injudicious belief that early surgery somehow negatively influences a young woman’s fertility. Extensive, cumulative research has shown this concern to be unfounded. What can impact fertility, however, is neglecting effective treatment of the disease. Some researchers also feel that symptomatic, adolescent-onset Endometriosis is most often a lifelong problem that will progress to severe fibrotic disease.
This matter is really less about her being a hypocondriac who shouldn't necessarily be allowed to play, etc. when she's sick and more about her not getting the help, support, compassion and *belief* that she needs and deserves from her own mother. The common theme among 95% of all Endo patients is that their pain was ignored and invalidated by their loved ones, doctors and others in their lives, until, after the 5th doctor and an average 9 yr. delay in diagnosis, they were finally diagnosed and helped. Is that what you want for your "hypocondriac" daughter? Or would you rather take her seriously and worry less about restricting her TV on sick days and more about getting to a pelvic pain specialist who can confer early intervention, diagnosis and treatment. I wish her good luck.

Answer 8

Have you tried talking to her and figuring out why she doesn't want to be there, instead of making her go through school that day, just because it was something you had to do?
Maybe if you try to find the root cause, it might not only help her, but also start a foundation for a relationship based on trust between you two.

Answer 9

Your decision was correct, and you and her Dad need to work as a team and be on the same page. No TV, computer, text messaging or anything else, except possibly homework and reading ahead for what she will be missing.

Answer 10

Perhaps you need to take her to the doctor for prescription medication for her cramps and to find out why they are so bad. Mine were so severe for one day each month that I could barely walk. Sure glad my mother didn't punish me for something I couldn't control. Why can't you show a little compassion?

Answer 11

I don't think you were mean. When I'm sick, even with cramps, all I want to do is lay in bed. I don't usually have any desire to do much else.

But I do watch TV.