I have trust issues with my Husband. He never realy did anything do make me feel this way, but I have been hurt to many times before, by other boyfriends, my Father cheated on my mother and our best friend also cheated on his girlfriend. I am just so scared of getting hurt again, and I don't know how to trust my husband. If he did go out with his friends he always come and tell me what they did and what went down.; but as soon as I just hear another girls name, I freak out. Is this normal? Do I need to see someone to sort this out, or does anyone else have some advise?? Please help, it's starting to hurt our marriage.
2006-09-10 23:52:11 · 10 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Stop putting your husband in the shadow of your past. U said he has never given u reason to feel this way but yet you're projecting your past experiences on to him as if he's going to do the same thing. While I would say this is not normal, I do see where you're coming from but realize that u are not giving him a chance and u are being unfair to him and not seeing him for who he really is because your vision is clouded by your past experiences.
Now that u see what your problem is, u have a choice to change your perception of him because if u don't, in the long run u might actually end up pushing him away and drive him to do the very thing u fear the most.
2006-09-11 00:19:58 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think I can understand how you feel, except in my marriage, ithe other way around. Did you ever talk to your husband about how you feel and why? Talking does a world of good, just letting your partner know how you feel. It really does help, at least it did for us. I guess for some people they do freak out if they hear their partner talking about another girl or gy. I think it's very natural if you're the jealous type or you've been hurt before. I think you can find it very hard to trust again. Even if you want to, your mind just won't let you. I think that with talking it over and with time, you and your husband will be able to get through this together. I don't think you need to talk to anyone. They waste time and money and don't help much at all. Give it time. Time and patience solve alot of problems.
2006-09-11 00:03:55 · answer #2 · answered by MJ 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your husband is not your ex boyfriend, neither is he your father or your best friend. Not all men cheat, but by behaving insecurely in this way you could push him in that direction. You will learn to trust him given time, if he never does anything to hurt you then how can you not trust him? You are letting th behaviour of other people reflect on his behaviour, that is not fair, stop letting your ex's rule your life.
2006-09-11 00:01:52 · answer #3 · answered by sparkleythings_4you 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you sound like my husband. Speaking from experience You need to get help with this or you are going to push him away. We are all scared of getting hurt but there is so many times someone can be accused of something before they just give up and leave or worse yet..confirm your worst fears and do it.
2006-09-11 00:01:29 · answer #4 · answered by shelshe 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i am sorry to hear that. but only urself will be able to know if he is unfaithful to u based on his records thus far. i think the most important question if he does, will be repentful and will u forgive him. for me i know how much jealousy can spoil a spouse relationship and thus pls don't go to the extreme. look at the positive and move on with ur priorities in life. pray.
2006-09-11 00:24:43 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
jealousy is normal but it's not good when it starts to affect the realtionship.. you've said it already, you're witnessing the effect of jealousy everytime you argue.. now look, where does your jealousy leads you, dont freak when he mentions names coz it shows your personal insecurites.. chill.. he's your husband! he's committed with you already.. maybe he has some other desires but he's yours, he knows his limitations.. your job as his wife is to trust him.. in the first place, why did you marry him if you dont have any assurance of his love and loyalty.. start settling it to yourself, you are a good unique woman and no one can ever compare to you,,, you are your husband's wife..
2006-09-11 00:21:21 · answer #6 · answered by `red 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sweetheart, leave the baggage behind....you said it yourself, he has given you no reason for this.....he is not those of your past, you love him....and you married him.......he is not your father, or best friend......do what you can to keep him happy sexually, and he will never have reason to think he needs an affair....talk to him....tell him how you feel...and why....talk with him...communication is the #1 thing needed in marriage
2006-09-10 23:59:43 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
u have low self esteem for some reason. try to work on it. also i can't understand why your husband needs to tell other girls' names in your presents? what does he do with them? goes out? does he have female friends to go out? in this case u re right to be worried. this is not normal. he shouldn't have any female friends. in that case your worried are justified and u have to sort out why on earth does he need to have other females in his life
2006-09-10 23:57:58 · answer #8 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
dont bring ur past life to ur life now just live to the fullest
2006-09-11 00:07:05 · answer #9 · answered by ATE 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
u arent the only one
2006-09-11 00:10:35 · answer #10 · answered by dark^wishy 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋