Did you ever cheat on me?
"Well not exactly"
What do you mean "not exactly"?
"One time a woman approached me and gave me her phone number and told me to call her. I kissed her but I never called her or had sex with her."
Who was she?
"That's irrelevant."
Where did you see her at when the kiss took place?
"Oh well see, one day I was at work and she stopped by."
Out of all the buildings there, she knew exactly which building you worked in?
"Yeah, she saw my vehicle in the parking lot."
Are you still seeing her?
"No of course not. See, she's engaged and she told me oh she just wanted to have an affair and I told her no, I don't do things like that."
Where did you first meet her at?
"Oh I was helping a friend with something and she was there and she approached me then later on she saw me at work and stopped in."
Who is she?
"I already told you, it's irrelevant."
Serious replies please!
2006-09-10 22:02:54 · 15 answers · asked by dances_away_from_you 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Personally, in reading this...I think there are things he's "leaving out" on purpose. Simply put, this guy is lying by exclusion and it reeks of
bs. Something more must have been going on. Trust your instincts. He can't just go from "meeting her" then "kissing her" all in one shot without anything else going on in between.
2006-09-10 22:16:37 · answer #1 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋
It sounds like you got more information than you need. 1. He did not cheat, a kiss is not cheating. 2. Who IS irrelevant. 3. You now know that there are other women who have interest in him. 4. He could have done her, kept his mouth shut and gotten some strange BUT did not, faithful.
I think you need to quit asking questions you don't want to know the answers to and trying to build it up into more than it is. Ask yourself what you are fishing for. If you want to fight keep pursuing this. If not ,let it go and move on. Why did you ask this question in the first place? Think about this. You ask " Did you ever cheat"? Assume he did once a while ago. He says no, he lied. He has no guilt and does not care. YOU LOSE He says yes, now you are hurt from something that happened long ago and has no bearing on your life today.YOU LOSE. Maybe he never has even though he might have thought of it ( much like here). He says no. You are not sure or you would not have asked in the first place. You are left with doubt and mistrust. YOU LOSE. He says yes because he thinks you don't trust him. YOU LOSE AGAIN.
Do you get the point here? Asking about this is a loaded question and ALL ANSWERS end up with you hurt or looking mistrusting?
Why punish yourself? Examine what you have not what might have happened. If there are problems, it may have more to do with your trust than his faithfulness.
2006-09-11 07:40:59 · answer #2 · answered by Flagger 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
It could be as he has said...but why the kiss? And why, if nothing happened would he say anything at all? Its all a little bit suss to me. Maybe he was covering his own @ss by giving you a little but not everything just in case you heard something from someone else.
I guess it depends entirely on your own ethical values...is it important to you that you find out more details, or can you accept that maybe he is telling the truth and leave it at that? You have to live with yourself and if there are any doubts about his reliability, then you are going to have problems in the future. Get it sorted out now before it goes any further and work out what you are prepared to accept and what you arent. Do you trust him? If you trust him, then you have to choose to believe what he has said is the truth and let it go. If you dont trust him, then you would obviously have reasons not to. Only you can decide if he is telling the truth....Has he lied to you before? Is there any reason to doubt that he is telling the truth? If there is no reason to doubt him, then you need to believe him and let it go, otherwise you will send yourself crazy with doubts. Why waste that kind of energy on something that may or may not be the truth. Does he love you? Do you love him? If you both love each other, then maybe you need to let it go and just love each other without the doubts. Until you have something concrete, then you have to believe what he says.
2006-09-11 07:36:44 · answer #3 · answered by rightio 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would say he is right, it is irrelevant. Revise, in your mind's view, the conversation and his body language. If he's honest, you've got one good man for a husband. And, by his admitting that he kissed her, I think he's honest.
Calm down and have fun with him, instead of trying to find out things. If he is paying attention to you and makes you feel loved, then you are loved and all else is irrelevant; also, if he sees you as a friend, not an enemy, he is more likely to tell the truth (I prefer being told the truth, even if it hurts; to get that, I had to school myself and not act very hurt if I disliked something. Level reactions will invite more honesty than hysterical questions - even with men who prefer not being told thing they will dislike).
Oh, and examine your ideas on what you call cheating. I mean, I would not leave my husband for kissing a woman - especially if he explicitly chose to refuse anything else. If he were, howerver, ignoring me (and our family / relationship) for paying attention (even just thinking) of another person, even if he never touched them, I would be seriously put out and may consider releasing both myself and him from such trial.
2006-09-11 05:11:54 · answer #4 · answered by AlphaOne_ 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It sounds fishy to me. This bloke is saying that he didn't know this woman yet she knew what vehicle he drived, she knew where he worked and she knew a friend of his. She also appears to be very persistent if she instigated all contact. Sounds very unlikely especially as he can't even say who this woman is, chances are you know her.
Sounds to me like this guy is trying to cover his tracks, by having this conversation he was trying to pre-empt someone telling you ( ? his partner) so if anyone did say "oh I seen so-and-so out with another woman", he can then say that it was the very persistant woman that he told you about.
2006-09-11 05:14:08 · answer #5 · answered by Emma 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
I think its an honest conversation with honest answers. I think that you are beating him up for his honesty because you don't like the answers. Think about it? would it have been easier for you not to know the truth? sounds like it. Respect this person and its OK to be mad at the situation but don't beat him or this error in judgment to the ground. He trusts you enough to tell you the truth. Deal with it for what it was We all want honesty and you have it. Let it go honey
2006-09-11 07:36:01 · answer #6 · answered by livelovelaugh 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I WOULD WONDER WHAT ELSE IS HE NOT EXACTLY TELLING YOU,AND APPARENTLY YOU MUST KNOW HER SINCE HE WON'T TELL YOU ,SOUNDS LIKE THERE IS SOMETHING GOING ON,AND THIS PERSON JUST WONDERS UP OUT OF NOWHERE AND JUST POP'S IN AND SAY'S HEY LET'S GO FOOL AROUND.THEN THIS IRRELEVANT PERSON KNOWS HIS CAR , AND SINCE THE PERSON IS ENGAGED AND NOT MARRIED IT ISN'T CALLED A AFFAIR IT IS CALLED CHEATING , WHICH IT'S SOUNDS LIKE HE IS DOING SOMETHING. SINCE PEOPLE DO NOT NORMALLY WALK UP TO SOMEONE AND KISS THEM UNLESS THEY WHERE GIVING THEM THE IDEA THEY WERE INTERESTED
2006-09-11 10:05:30 · answer #7 · answered by rachel m 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I am not saying he is cheating on you but he is definitely not honest with you. He is acting like someone with a guilty concience. It also seems that you might know the other female therefor he is saying it is irrelevant who she is.
2006-09-11 06:29:42 · answer #8 · answered by robsnor 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Leave him..."That's irrelevant"???yea sure, either he is lying just to make you jealous or he really had a kiss, what is called cheating!
2006-09-11 05:08:57 · answer #9 · answered by momithesnake 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
sounds a bit fishy to me... you should try and get to the bottom of it. It's too much of a coincidence that she saw his car and knew exactly where to find him at work.
2006-09-11 05:06:33 · answer #10 · answered by deedee 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋