Been with my boyfriend for 1year and we moved in 2mths after we met. After which we found out I was pregnant and we terminated it. Since then, we haven't had sex on a regular basis - at one time we didn't do it for 5 mths. We both don't initiate it now. We still love each other and plan to get married. He says maybe his sex drive is down cos he's put on weight, and stressed at work. Is this normal for guys? Or is it because of the abortion? We've talked about it a lot but we just can't pinpoint an asnwer to what happened to our sex life. Other than sex, our relationships is great, but we do realise over time if this goes on, it'll affect us a great deal. Before the termination, we did it everyday at least 5 times a day. Anyone has any advice?
2006-09-10 20:45:33 · 9 answers · asked by cscjm 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
He probably feels some guilt about your pregnancy termination and is afraid of getting you pregnant again. He isn't necessarily cheating on you because sex isn't as important in a relationship as love. Work stress can contribute to this problem because after all the brain is our most important sex organ. Weight gain can make him feel fat. Seriously, men aren't just brutal sex machines. We can be quite vain and can suffer from a poor body image. Just try cuddling and necking like a couple of kids and see what happens. If necessary you may have to seek help from a counselor. They really do help.
2006-09-10 20:59:02 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don`t think sex is the problem. You may unconciously feel "guilty" about having the termination or you may feel he "blames " you, wrongly I would think but it is hard to control what goes on in our head. This may be making the sex thing a bit tense. You really should go back to the clinic and see if there is some counselling available for both of you.But try not to worry things will get back to 5 times a night or maybe just 5 nights a week. Would love to hear how things go with you.
2006-09-11 04:03:32 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Maybe he just feels uncomfortable cus of his weight. I was in that positon like 3 years ago i used to be really athetic in highschool then in college and well i still work out but with my ex i started gaining some weight. I felt really fat and I was embarressed taking of my shirt in front of a women i had a child with. It just ruined the mood when i told her before sex that i felt really fat.and she would say no your not and it would lead up to a fight. Well since then i realized that sex in fact was the key. I would rather have sex than complain. Sex in fact got me back in shape weather you want to belive it or not. I had gotten lazy and told my ex to get on top all the time. Then i saw this oprah show and she talked about having sex as a diet. Well after that i would always be on top which makes me do all the movement and get the female in doggy style position makes for a good work out. Even having sex in the car with out the ac made it a good sweat. Eventually the punds melted off. I even had ore energy and started eating less and healthier. It was the best thing that happened to me. I mean well doing somthing I love and beniffitng to the fullest from it : its just great. Well I suggest you tell your boyfriend about this and im sure he will be up to the plan I know I would. And another thing now no one has to know our pregnat I suggest you buy the plan b pill and stock up on it before they take it of the market many protest are going on and i think this pill is in its last leg on the shelf. But i might be wrong of the plan b thing being taken out but try not to get pregnant if you are not ready.
2006-09-11 04:00:47 · answer #3 · answered by the_cheap_rolex 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Did you ever bother to have a open talk with him? If no then please do just ask him whats wrong with him. Its him whom you want to settle your life with so you should start getting a piece of his mind. Please don't presume unnecessary dogmatic opinions. Well there may be one more reasons as you have said he has gained weight may be he is sad from inside that he can't get that drive for sex which he had before, so ask him to lose weight. One more thing human brain is the most powerful sex organ and if that organ is haunted with tension or depression then urge for sex dies. So the only cure is you have a open discussion with your guy. Be cool and soft he will open up and you will get your hunk back. So you have the cure. Mark my words it will work out.
2006-09-11 04:17:13 · answer #4 · answered by Bacti 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
some man get affected by abortion more than women. maybe he is afraid you'll end up pregnant again and he doesn't want to risk.it doesn't have to mean that he's having sex elsewhere...since you are still planing to get married, you should talk about it openly...a relationship, especially marriage, is based on understanding and trust...you have to talk about it...
2006-09-11 04:07:15 · answer #5 · answered by Mila 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My God, no wonder you got pregnant!
Seriously, even though you had an abortion, the fact that you were pregnant does have something to do with less sex.
2006-09-11 03:51:51 · answer #6 · answered by Ash Anne 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
A "normal" relationship includes "normal" sexual relations. Months in between is not normal and you should seek premarital counceling in my opinion.
2006-09-11 03:57:00 · answer #7 · answered by hereintheunivers 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If he's not having sex with you, it means he's having sex elsewhere. Sorry, but you have to face the truth.
2006-09-11 03:47:15 · answer #8 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe he is worried you are gonna get pregnant again, see a sexologist before getting married it will help,
2006-09-11 03:49:00 · answer #9 · answered by NANA 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋