don't want to have sex after having baby 4 months ago please help his daddy is not happy and i don't know why?

Answer 1

I was in the same position after the birth of my first son. It was stressful for my husband, but we managed to find some middle ground. I explained that I was tired, stressed, and I didn't feel as attractive as I did before. Not to mention that I was afraid of getting pregnant again. I felt like any time that we spent alone was taken up by him trying to get me into bed... He said the opportunities were so few and he missed me so much that he didn't know what else to do. We ended up making plans to spend time together that didn't revolve around sex. We would have movie nights, go to dinner, get a sitter and take a hike. Anything that gave us an opportunity to feel connected and to remind us that we were very attracted to each other. Ask him to be patient and try to make "adult" time. If things don't get better or if the things listed above aren't the issue, then you should consider seeing a doctor. I was given mild anti-depressants and it helped me feel less stressed, which helped in the bedroom. Good Luck!

Answer 2

It can take more than a year for many women to want to have sex after a baby so don't worry that there is something abnormal about you.

A difficult birth, tiredness, exhaustion, breast feeding the baby, stress can all make your libido decrease.

However for the vast majority of women it will come back in time.

There are some things you can do for your relationship that don't have to be centred around sex.

Firstly - though this is a personal decision - I would recommend that the baby doesn't sleep in your bed and gets moved to its own bedroom as soon as possible, with as little fuss as possible.

YOu and your husband need a little personal space. You also need a little time on your own even if its only once a month - can a family member or friend babysit? This way you can make time for you as a couple and make sure you are both on the same page. This is important at this time when you are both going through big changes.

Maybe your husband is feeling a bit insecure about the baby and the relationship, maybe feeling a bit displaced. This is really common often women subtly push out the father and take over the baby duties.
There are lots of things you can do to improve this.
If you are not feeling like sex, tell your husband that you feel too tired at the moment but you still want to be affectionate with him. You can still hug and hold hands and maybe give each other a massage.
Make sure your husband does lots of baby things - he might not do them as perfectly as you might want them to be done but he needs to practice and he needs the space to learn how to do it - without having someone stand over him. Give him space to look after the baby, then you can have some me time.
Take a long hot bubble bath, go out with friends, destress and i am sure your sex drive will come back quicker. Also you could practice your pelvic floor exercises to help tone your vaginal muscles up gradually. This will mean when you do have sex it will be more pleasurable for you.

If after a while your sex drive hasn't come back, go to a doctor and explain how you are feeling. Your sex drive is an important part of your relationship and you as a woman. The doctor should appreciate this. If he brushes you off go to another doctor who does realise its important.

Answer 3

Before you had the baby, who was the person you loved most in the world? Your husband, right?

Now the baby has arrived, who is the person you love most in the world?

Now, YOU know that even though you love your baby, you still love your husband (I hope). But he doesn't know that, because you spend every waking minute doting on the baby, and when you climb into bed you reject him. Everything you do, tells him that he doesn't matter any more.

Don't let the baby ruin your marriage. He needs your attention too.

Answer 4

You may not be feeling sexy or you may just not feel physically up to it... either way... it's gonna bum him out. He may feel jealous also of the bond you have with your new baby especially if you are breastfeeding, which is normal. If you may be suffering at all from post partum it may effect your sex drive and overall mood... which may inadvertantly affect his mood. Think about getting couceling if this could be the case. Post partum can escilate into a serious condition and effect you in many ways.

Answer 5

the question is, why don't you want sex???

after 4 months, everything should have healed up...

it can put a strain on a relationship, having a baby... the tiredness, the stress, the anxiety...

but you need to do something to keep the relationship going.. talk to your midwife, health visitor, doctor about it...

if you are scared of having sex, because of the trauma of child birth, or because you don't feel sexy, or because of something else (like post natal depression), you need to get it sorted out or the relationship will suffer.. and your partner will seek sex somewhere else...

Answer 6

hes probably feeling a little deserted now as you will be devoting a lot of your time to the baby why not see if you can get a relative or friend to babysit for a few hours and spend some "quality" time with him

Answer 7

Well, you know... You try taking care of a newborn without some *cough* releif. I mean... Why wouldn't you? You need some leisure. You ought to spend some good *cough* leisure time with him... Don't let the poor guy have to resort to the dreaded hand!!!

Answer 8

well, he's not happy cause he's not getting any. normal. try to find out why u don't want sex and deal with it, cause 4 months is long. u don't want him going around..

Answer 9

4 months is suffucient time, now there is no harm to have sex. Ur hubby is right, u must filful his desire.

Answer 10

hey its absolutelllllllyy natural for you to hav less or no interest in sex..its ok hun..talk it out wth ur husband...its all kewl..come on u cn manage it!!