A few yrs ago I found some letters that my husband wrote to this woman he knew from another state. The letters were intense. He told her he loved her and wanted to make love to her given details etc.We had a big fight of course. The woman is supposingly his friend and she was married at one time. She called looking for him back in 1999. that is when I met her over the phone. Now she somehow tracked him down after all these yrs and called our house in May. We talked I told her i would tell him she called. I didn't tell her about the letters because she never got them. She mentioned that her and her husband were separated etc. Now by coincident my husband was schedule to go on military duty in her state. I have this gut feeling that he made love to this woman when he left for his military duty in her state. It is something about her that seems to keep him interested after all these yrs which is about 11. Am I being paranoid?
2006-09-10 19:57:04 · 30 answers · asked by sexy c 3 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
That's grounds for seperation if I were you. I wouldn't tollerate anything like that in my marriage...And i sure as hell wouldn't let her call my house ever again!! Oh and why the heck did you tell her that you would let him know that she called?? That was a mistake.
2006-09-10 20:00:11 · answer #1 · answered by ? 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No, your feelings are valid. Trust your instincts. U may not find out the answer you're looking for but the fact that this woman still keeps calling him and trying to get into contact with him says that there's more to it than that. Obviously u are not going to be able to get your husband to tell u the truth as in cases like this, they will lie till the cows come home.
The only question I have is, u said your husband was scheduled for duty in her state. Are u sure he was on duty and not "on leave" when he went to her state?
It's up to u to decide what you're going to do with this situation and either your husband puts a stop to her calling him or u walk.
2006-09-11 03:08:05 · answer #2 · answered by cheetah7 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I can understand why it bothers you, I think if you love your husband you need to tell him how you feel inside.And once you do that, if he tells you nothing is going on with this other woman, I guess you have to have faith in him. If you catch him lying about her in the future, then you'll know that he disregards you, your feelings and your marriage. I would think with him in the millitary and away from home, your marriage, more than most, would have to be based ALOT on trust. If you can't trust him, you'll go insane with always wondering...at least I would!! But open up to him, don't accuse or bit** at him, tell him how it hurts you...then only time will tell. Hope it helps!
2006-09-11 03:23:15 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
No you are not being paranoid, maybe a little to trusting because chances are they have been together and if shes calling your house she feels hes hers and has no respect for your marriage! I think it may be time for a divorce and if you ask for one and he doesn't fight for your marriage then he probably is in love, Sorry, hope i didn't hurt your feelings! go find a better man!!!
2006-09-11 03:03:30 · answer #4 · answered by katie k 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would be asking ALOT of questions, i would get the letters and wave them in his face.
The one thing that puzzles me is why is the women calling your house and chatting with you?....This has to make you wonder because if they were having an affair, I wouldnt think she'd be calling knowing you would be there.
OR
Is she trying to get him into "trouble" by chatting with you? Maybe he has made promises to her, and she is trying to dob him in?
But NO you are definatley NOT being paranoid, theres something going on for sure!!
2006-09-11 03:17:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, your'e not being paranoid. some women can be very caniving. but it takes to to tangle. don't accuse the man of anything unless you have proof but stay on your p's and q's as my mother would say. you know your'e husband i'm sure after 11 years of marriage. you know what he's capable of doing. take heed to your feelings. (pay attention to your feelings) your'e not always wrong and your'e not always right. Watch youre' man and that woman. Been there done that.
2006-09-11 03:03:46 · answer #6 · answered by Dee 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You are NOt paranoid... but get ur facts straight before taking any step.. . yes deir r high chances of him getin hooked up but u need lota answers first dat only you can find out.... dun nag him much as far as id say.. love him give him his space..adn if possible openly talk to him... Why havnt u tried dat?... dunt yell at each otehr adn dun panick or fight..u will make him abck out.. let him be honest wth u.. Gud lucl..Take Care
2006-09-11 04:37:43 · answer #7 · answered by Kia 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no, you just love him too much not to want to lose him. but i really hope you would have a heart-to-heart talk with him before you reach to any conclusion. look into his eyes and ask him all the questions that were burning inside you. i dont wish for a marriage just ruin this way without getting the facts right first.
2006-09-11 03:10:19 · answer #8 · answered by mei mei 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
i can't say. if i were you, i would drink a cold beer and when he got home from work, just flat out ask him " when you were om military duty in [ whatever ] state did you have sex with that women " and if your husband REALLY loves you he WILLtellyou the truth.
2006-09-11 03:04:18 · answer #9 · answered by doug h 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You knows about women instinct.. they never wrong. Follow your gut instinct if it tells you that he had an affair with this woman than go check it out.. I cant say more cos I trust my womanly gut instinct cos it never once wrong!
it save me once too many times..
2006-09-11 03:01:12 · answer #10 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋