who gets custody?

Question

OK, im the father. my babys mother cheated on me appearently for no reason because ive been good to her and she left me to her mothers house. i was trying really to keep us united and tryin to work things out between us regardless of what she did. ive been trying really for about 3 months to see if she is willing to fix things but her mind is not in the right place. well i thought because she was the mother, she gets the daughter automatically, but then i found out we have equal rights. The mother smokes marijuana, she has an eyebrow ring. shes turning gothic when this wasnt who she was before. shes tryin to become like her sister who influenced her to leave me. shes poor. ungrateful. a bad mother. she doesnt care for the baby. she just wants her cuz i want her. everytime she drops off the baby, she has a new scratch or rash or bruise. but me im financially fit, a good person, and have everything better then her. Is there any way i can keep the baby away from her for the childs safety

Answer 1

A court would have to decide, but you'd better document everything. Write this down on paper, report any abuse that you're worried about towards your child!!!!
Also, photograph any bruise or scratch, and tape conversations with her.
Normally I'd say joint custody is best- but if she's what you say she's like then she's not fit to be a parent. Get a good lawyer and good luck!

Answer 2

Get the best attorney you can; speak with the attorney and ask these questions. It is not just what you say but what can be proven. Yes, under the spirit of the law you are an equal parent but the women seem to get more leniency and sympathy then men, and that is why the courts tend to give custody of children to mothers. How will you take care of the child while you're at work? Who will baby sit? How do I know (or the court know) that you're not lying? Why should I (or the court) take you word over hers? See what I mean? It IS possible for you to get custody; I've known of a few cases but each case involves different circumstances and not all are easy to prove or disprove. See a licensed lawyer who specializes in Family/Custody matters and/or Divorce/Custody matters. Do not wait for her to take the initiative. If after you take the initiative to take her to court, she wants to come back... forget it, that would be nothing more than a trap to cause you to drop everything! Do not spend the night under the same roof from now on! No, no, no, NO! Speak with a divorce attorney and he'll explain this to you in great detail! Don't even go for a quickie with her... stay away from her!

Answer 3

This is a sticky subject. First both parents have equal rights as long as they are both on the birth certificate. If you are not on the birth certificate you need to go get a lawyer and file to be put on the birth certificate immediately. In the eyes of the law if you aren't on the cert than you are pretty much irrelevant. Secondly, if she is on any kind of public assistance than she does have an informal custody of the child but if you were to keep the child and you were both on the birth certificate the police would not be able to remove the child from your care unless there was some type of custody agreement that was in writing. This is all just short term though when you get to court you would need to be able to prove that you have been the primary financial and emotional caretaker of the child to keep temoprary custody while this goes to trial. Generally speaking though if there is one parent that can financially care for the child without state assistance and they are not unfit that is who will get temporary custody because of the fact that any judge is going to try and save the state money. When you get into permanent custody there is no cut and dried, it's a coin toss mostly. Get a lawyer you'll need one.

Answer 4

If you want whats best for your child. Things are gonna have to get ugly. Because in every family back up the children are the victim's. That's the way the courts know it to be. Where the child will get the best care is what decides the child's destination. If drugs are involved then money spent isn't on baby clothes & food is it. But don't forget children need both parents. Good Luck

Answer 5

I would try to document everything you say by date, time and occurrence. If you think your child is in danger, call child protective services and/or the police and ask for their input and help. You also need to get a good custody lawyer who will tell a judge that your baby's mother is unfit and why that is so. Please don't wait for anything more to happen if you're concerned about the baby's safety, and good luck!!

Answer 6

There is a high probability that she will get custody of the kids unless you bring the attention of her ill-behavior to the court. Don't mention that the mother is gothic. All that means is that she wears black and listens to depressing music, the same could be said of parents who like the blues. that doesn't really matter, lots of people with piercings make great parents. if the court settles on her for custody, you can always sue her for being an unfit mother(no cash obtained, just custody of your kid).

Answer 7

I think you should get the child. I know how it is because I am dealing with my husbands ex. I know that both parents have equal rights but you will play H*** trying to get the child from it's mother. You may have equal rights but most people think that just because a mother carried that child for nine months they are better for that child. I don't think so and it took you to make that child also. But I hope you luck and I pray that you get the kid!!!

Answer 8

Sorry to say, but she will always have custody.

Even if she had a boyfriend who molested/raped the girl, they would just arrest him and leave her with the mom.

And equal rights? LOL, yeh right.... looks good on paper doesn't it, because all it is in today's court system is ink on paper.