i am 35 yrs old. i had an abortion recently, which is fourth. i have two kids aged 13 and 10. we were not intending to have a third one. we were not using birth control pill, just following the safe period. but i got pregnant last week. i was shocked to know it. as we were having some financial problem i thought it wont be nice to have another kid and taking our age into consideration, we opt an abortion. now i am very depressed having done the abortion and feel to end my life. i know that wont be a solution, moreover it will cause disgrace to my husband and kids. my husband too stood with me for the abortion. he is very consoling. but when i am alone i think about it over and over and i am afraid, whether my mental balance will be gone. a feeling that i have done a sin, god wont forgive me. i am longing to have a baby soon, to overcome this situation. is it safe to have a baby after abortion and considering my age? wht should i do to overcome the depression?
2006-09-10 19:03:20 · 20 answers · asked by Anonymous in Health ➔ Women's Health
It was very courageous of you to post this question and it is wonderful that you are reaching out for help. Our society is only too happy to support an abortion decision, but is not there when women are in emotional pain after it. Check your local phone book and see if there is a Crisis Pregnancy Center. They help women who are experiencing what you are experiencing - Post Abortion Syndrome. You can also do some research on the Internet about it. There are some great books - Her Choice to Heal by Sydna Masse. Good luck to you in finding healing, there are thousands of women hurting just like you are and many who have found relief and peace and would be happy to reach out to you and help you find peace also.
2006-09-12 11:37:35 · answer #1 · answered by Tolmetti 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Please forgive me if I sound rude, but if this is you fourth abortion, why not just get yourself or your hubby fixed? If you don't want anymore kids you shouldn't be so careless. There is no way of preventing pregnancy just by following the safe period. You can even get preggo while on your period.
My personal opinion is against abortion, however that is your free choice and I respect that. I am very sorry you are so depressed, hormones go all out of whack when pregnant and I'm not sure abortion will kick you body out of preggo mode that fast. Do not end your life!! That is selfish!! I am glad you are thinking of your family and not choosing that option. They need you. You need to get some counseling. Also, if you ever do decide you REALLY want a baby, there are risks at your age. The risks get higher and higher the older you get. My mom had a baby at 38, he was perfectly healthy, but the doctors monitored my mom pretty closely. People have children at your age all the time.
I think you need to talk to a good counselor before you think about getting pregnant again. I'm not so sure that having a baby is a good way to get over this. Expecially after four abortions!!
As for you relationship with God, only he knows where your heart is. He is a just & merciful God. Are you religous? Maybe you should talk to one of your church leaders.
Good luck, I wish you the best.!! Be stong!!
2006-09-10 19:21:13 · answer #2 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
You may be dealing with post-partum depression, basically. Talk to your doctor, tell him/her how you are feeling - perhaps your hormones are out-of-whack, which is not helping your frame of mind. Do not hesitate to accept help, either in the form of a prescription or counseling. If you have a clergy member you are comfortable talking to, go to him/her - you might find him/her very helpful.
If you really don't want any more children right now, perhaps you can consider some other method of birth control - maybe an IUD, which is a more long-term method, would be appropriate. If you and your husband decide you NEVER want more children, then perhaps a more permanent method (surgical sterilization of one of you) would be more appropriate.
And yes, you can safely have another child after having had an abortion, provided the abortion was done safely and by someone who knows what they were doing. Again, talk to your doctor about it.
2006-09-10 19:10:18 · answer #3 · answered by Zyrilia 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need some counseling if you are this upset about it. Another baby is fine, lots of moms have babies at 35, 40 or even later. However, this baby will not replace the one you lost. Accept that you made this decision and it cannot be undone. You cannot change the past, only the future.
Did you say this was your fourth abortion or did I misunderstand your first sentence? Either way, when you decide you are done having children you might consider sterilization because it's very reliable and then you won't have to worry about this happening again.
2006-09-10 19:11:02 · answer #4 · answered by BabyRN 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
My dear lady....the CREATOR is NOT a petty, unforgiving, hateful BEING.
The healing starts with you. Forgive yourself. The Creator did when you made the decision to have the abortion.
Run...do not walk ....to the nearest, best counseling clinic. Take hubby with you for counseling if he will go. Choose wisely the person who you feel will help you learn the skill of self forgiveness.
Financial problems, age and guilt is NOT a good reason to bring another child into the world.
Try being a big sister to a child in your area. There is an agency that links people up with kids who need an extended family. (AFTER you get counseling).
Have a daily talk with "Daddy-God"...He listens and loves you right through ANY bad judgement choice you have made or will make.
Remember that you are still and always will be precious to the CREATOR...no matter what. After all, there is only ONE like you in the whole universe. Now THAT is special.
Remember...LOVING YOURSELF..is an amazing healer.
2006-09-10 19:17:21 · answer #5 · answered by Anna C 3 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Wow, I can imagine that you are feeling really bad...It's something that you can't take back now though, and that's what you have to realize...Don't think for one minute that God doesn't know how you are feeling in your heart right now... I know that there is forgiveness for you. I don't agree with abortions though because there are so many people in the world that can't have kids and would love to have a baby more than anything in the world, and so if something like this happens again ... just remember that. Forgive yourself, that's the first step.
2006-09-10 19:08:40 · answer #6 · answered by ? 3 · 1⤊ 0⤋
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2016-11-07 02:07:59 · answer #7 · answered by treiber 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
DO NOT think about having another child. That won't fix a thing. There is nothing to feel guilty about. You did the right thing. Stay in here and do the best that you can do first for yourself and second for your beautiful children and supportive husband. They all need you. If you do something stupid to yourself. then there would be NOBODY to forgive you. Doing that and even thinking of doing it is THE BIGGEST SIN. Not only you won't be with your children in this life, you will never ever get to see them and be with them in the next life. Bringing a human in this life knowing that she/he won't have the best life deserved because you can't provide for him is wrong, stopping that to happen is not. Be strong and be you.
2006-09-10 19:52:54 · answer #8 · answered by honeybun 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, you should be depressed. You should have your tubes tied, or your husband should have a vasectomy. The pill works great. Abortion is a sin you murdered four babies. God may not
give you another. God will forgive you, because He Loves you.
But I cannot understand having an abortion. I had four kids and it was tough. My mother law tried twice make me have an abortion.
I refused! I thought about the consequences first, because we were broke and could not afford a baby. I could not live with murdering a gift from God.
2006-09-10 19:12:00 · answer #9 · answered by lizzybit64 3 · 0⤊ 2⤋
There is a lot of help out there, please don't feel that you are alone.
Here are some websites that have lots of infomation.
Your desire to have another child is a common reaction, and you need to desire another child, but after you have recovered from your grief. And you can grieve it is okay, it will help you come out of depression. If you ask God for forgiveness, He will forgive you.
He has already prepared people to help you. He loves you that much.
2006-09-14 14:22:13 · answer #10 · answered by ingamit2006 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋