My dad is having cancer surgery on Wednesday and one of the hardest things is the waiting?

Question

What should I do to get through sitting in the waiting room alone?
Please only serious answers.

Answer 1

Tell yourself that even though you aren't sure of the outcome of the surgery, there's a good chance it will work out well and that you're sure he'll come through it ok. Think of this: If you allow yourself to worry over what may not (and probably won't) happen you'll let yourself worry over nothing during this time when you don't need that.

If you tell yourself the surgery, itself, will be fine there's a good chance that's absolutely right. Try to chat with anyone else who is nearby, bring a radio and headset and listen to some mindless talk on the radio, or bring yourself down to the coffee shop a few times.

Do all your praying before Wednesday, check in with God on Wednesday for a final wrap-up of praying, and then ask God to excuse you while you try to do mindless things while you wait.

Remind yourself that everything is being done that can be done and that if there's one thing your father wants its for you to know that whatever happens will be ok one way or another.

Again, tell yourself not to worry. Things will be fine. (And then if some unexpected thing comes up you'll deal with it if and when it comes up.) That's the only not to go insane with worry.

Answer 2

Don't go to the waiting room. That is about the scariest place to wait in a hospital.

Ask the surgeon how long the surgery should take, and tell him that you will be in the hospital chapel, and then do your waiting there. They can send someone to come and get you when it is time for the surgeon to come and talk to you.

Hospitals also have chaplains. Ask for the hospital chaplain, and if you are a person of faith, ask him or her to pray with you. Chaplains are trained to minister to people of all faiths, so don't be shy about expressing your beliefs to them. If you are not a person of faith, a talk with the chaplain can still be very soothing, as they minister to the soul in both a religious and a non-religious way, and they know how to deal with people in crisis. Ask the chaplain to wait with you if you want, or just stay in the chapel alone, praying, thinking, or meditating. Just do what brings you comfort.

Hospital waiting rooms are scary because you invariably hear what other people are going through. Many hospitals have separate small rooms off the main waiting room where you actually meet with the doctor, but that fact doesn't stop you from hearing other people's grief. I have had to wait several times while my husband has had surgery, and after the last time, I will not wait in the waiting room again. There's just no peace, and the whole atmosphere is so busy it is hard to stay calm.

I wish you peace. If you want to contact me through this site, please feel free to do so.

Bronwen

Answer 3

Reading is very difficult when you have so much worry on your mind. Try writing him a letter about how you are feeling, things you have done together in the past and what you would like to do together when he recovers. Cancer is very scary but does not always have a negative outcome. Keep your hopes up and try not to dwell on all the negatives that we can associate with the C word - people do recover. Ask to speak to a Social worker at the hospital and talk about your concerns they can be very helpful and if you know what to expect then thngs may not seem as bad. Good Luck to you both and we will be thinking of you and saying a prayer for you both.

Answer 4

I am so sorry to hear about your dad. Surgery is very tough on everyone. Do you have a family member or friend who can go with you to the hospital? It will help the time to pass even if someone just sits quietly with you in the waiting area. If you are religious or he is you can call his church and ask for their support and prayers, this will help. If you are religious, there are usually clergy members in the hospitals who can come and talk to you or meet with you in the hospital chapel. There are support staff available for you to talk to also. Take some books with you, and make sure you try to eat before you go, it is difficult enough without being nervous on an empty stomach. Take some puzzle books and other things like that to pass the time. I will pray for his recovery and return to health and your sense of calm while all this is going on. My best wishes to you and your Dad.

Answer 5

There will be lots of people in the waiting room- waiting for their loved ones to get out of surgery. It is good to visit with the people sitting around you and kind of build up a camaraderie with them. Then you feel like you are not so all alone. They need you and you need them. It will help the time go faster, too.

Answer 6

Wow im sorry to hear that I hope he is going to be alright. There is nothing you can really do to take your mind off of that. Anything you do, your focus will not be 100% on that it will be on your dad. The best thing is to just watch tv or sleep maybe talk to someone else in the waiting room.

Answer 7

I would take a notebook with me and write him letter about all the wonderful things you remember sharing with growing up. Let him know how much he means to you. Try to write a poem to him and then take some colored pencils and try to design the papers edges to make it look really nice. By sitting there writting and drawing the time will speed on by. Try to remember as far back as you can. Also it will give him some extra encouragement to get better faster while he is recovering and you cant be there.

Answer 8

you need something mindless to do. Reading is hard to do when you are worried. You tend to read the same line over and over. Most waiting rooms have a tv but not much is on during the day. My suggestion is to bring some magazines along like Cosmo or vogue (if girl) and auto mags (if male) because they short articles and all pictures.

Answer 9

Take an interesting book to read or some puzzle books to work on. Ask a friend to go along to keep you company. Take a laptop if you have one. Most importantly, don't forget to pray!!! I wish you and your dad the best of luck, and my prayers are with you as well.

Answer 10

I went through that with my mom and there's nothing that will take your mind off of it. If you pray, then pray for him. You could try to talk to the people around you to distract yourself. Or watch TV if there's one in the waiting room.