How do you teach yourself to trust again (the one who cheated you)?

Answer 1

small appointment, like lunch and dinner,,,, value their punctuality and appreciate their ability to meet the quota

try to meet on a place where you feel comfortable

Answer 2

There is no simple answer to this question. However, it takes a lot of time and effort on his end to rebuild the trust that was earned at one time by you. But most of all, it takes time for it to happen again on some level because some self doubt can come up when a person least expects it. Also, there can be set backs when he lies or breaks your trust again with a small white lie. If he works with you, it is possible to regain the trust again, but it takes a large amount of effort. Basically, it takes a lot of communication and honesty to make it through this time. Counseling does help in either an individual or couples counseling in resolving issues and improve the relationship.

Answer 3

This one can't be answered in a few lines. It depends on how badly you were cheated on, and how much you want this relationship to succeed. If you don't regain your trust, the relationship is essentially over. I'm sorry to break this to you.

It takes some people years to overcome loss of trust. It takes two people to regain that trust. If the one who cheated on you really takes this seriously, you will probably have a better chance than if you do this on your own. You never know when you'll be blindsided again. Dealing with your own sense of loss and hurt can be quite daunting.

Professional help is available for these issues. However, the work will fall to you two. It's not going to be easy but it is do-able.

Take care and good luck!

Answer 4

My husband cheated on me eight years ago. We are still together and I trust him with my heart and soul. It wasn't easy, but as the years go on and he's proven himself time and time again, it gets easier. One thing I did learn, was that in order to let go of the pain and the apprehension, I had to find out why the affair happened in the first place. I had to have all the questions lurking in the back of my mind answered for me. My husband became an open book (at the request of our therapist). If I called, he had better answer, if he's suppose to be somewhere at a certain time, he better show up early, etc. It was two years of that. I held him accountable for everything. Then looking back on it one day, I finally realized that if this man made a mistake, went above and beyond the call of duty to make this work, and let me put him through two years of hell to prove to me he was in this for the long haul, then it was safe to start trusting him some. And before I knew it, little by little, he earned it all back. It's a long road honey, don't try to rush it. Do it at your own pace. If you aren't comfortable with something, call him on it. He lost the right to get upset about being accountable when he cheated. This is your healing process and don't let anyone else tell you different.

Answer 5

This is similar to the question that I posted.. It's extremely
difficult and after 4 years I still have not. I keep going over
the events of his relationship with the other person. It is a
very exhausting thing. I've gone to counseling; he refused,
saying that he doesn't have the time.

I guess that you might be able to start retrusting him again
if he showed a conservative effort in helping you learn to
trust him.. Mine is irritated with me when I tell him how I feel.

I would say as long as he is willing to be totally accountable
for his time and he agrees to help you heal and takes total
responsibility for his choices, then you may be able to learn
to trust somewhat; but beware, it WILL NOT happen overnight.

It could take years..Good Luck. It sure hurts. If mine were
willing to do these things, I'd feel much better.

Answer 6

Trust must be earned and valued. A critical component of moving beyond this is his support and cooperation. You will probably need lots more reassurance and understanding than previously. From him and yourself! It can take a long time for a wound like this to heal and for you to not constantly worry, feel sad, or be suspicious. My husband and I went through this and it does take time. It would sneak up on me at the weirdest times and I would bring it up with him. Much to his credit, he would usually be patient and hang in there while we talked it through. I still check in once in awhile just about how he's feeling. I think he gained a lot of insight into how he managed to mess up. It can make you both better people. Just be sure that he and the relationship are worth it and then hang in there.

Answer 7

trust takes time i know i have been down that road if you really really love him you will trust him again after a little time talk to your close's friend about everything that is going on but before you start spilling your guts tell her i don't want you to say leave him i just really need you to here this and how would she handel the situation also perhaps if you ask him to let you know where and what times he should be able to find you if you happen to come by and see him be it be at work or a night out with the guys if they think that you will drop in on them they will be where they said they were going or will let you know if they are going to be somewhere else but believe trust takes time along time i personally have been dealing with the trust issue for about 3 years where i still don't really trust one of the guys who my husband hangs with and i don't say a whole lot but i call him when he is out with this guy to see if i hear any woman's voice in the background so good luck and you will trust again after time

Answer 8

I know from experience it is not easy. But you have to remember one thing, because one person hurt you very deeply does not mean everyone is out to get you.You have to remember the one you are with now is not the one you just left. Just take things day by day. I recently ended a marriage I had been in for a very long time in which there were a lot of mean and cruel things said and done, but life goes on and I now have found a man who treats me like a princess and loves me very much. Had I been afraid to get involved in another relationship I would have never found the happiness I have now. Sure it is going to be hard but life is to short to spend it all alone.

Answer 9

A destroyed trust is hard to build again. But if you are both willing it is possible. And hard. My plan would be to set some boundaries together. Work together on those boundaries. Do things together rather than apart. Work out what you like to do. Trust is deveopled again by performance. If your partner tries hard to do the right thing then reward him with trust. Remember it takes two to tango, but you musn't let them off the hook.

Answer 10

I tried and never could...some other people will tell you their methods but to me it was quite clear, from the moment he cheated until we broke up I never fully trusted him again, I was always worrying about what he would do or where he was, and I became much more jealous.
So, if you truly love him, I'd say give him a second (only a second, not a third or fourth) chance and see where it leads, but if you just can't do it, go your separate ways.

Answer 11

Damn same thing happened to me and it's really hard to trust someone again,and since he was my first boyfriend now i think that all guys are going to cheat and i guess ill be thinking that for a long while, but i guess give that persone a secound chance and if that person cheats again now you know that you cannot trust him/her.