My grandparents and I got into a fight about a month ago., I'm not really close to them and they've never shown me respect. My dad is very close to them and we got in to a fight because my grndparents started picking on me about my features. Of course I'm going through puberty and so my initial reaction was to cry, so I walked out of the room and was yelled at and everything by them, anyways so I went outside and a whole showdown happened. I haven't talked to them in a month, but it's hard on my dad because he wants me to go see them because they're nagging to them and everything but we had a huge fight over that. I can see clearly that it's stressful for my dad, but I can't just not give up because it's hard on them, I need to get my point across. I also don't know what to do because the holidays are coming up, and that's going to be awkward.What should I do?
2006-09-10 17:06:38 · 11 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Other - Family & Relationships
It's not as easy as it sounds. They are VERY opinionated people. They are Italian and hold EVERYTHING as your fault. They also aren't very nice to my family, so sitting down with them is out of the question.THEY will never say sorry because they dont believe that they're wrong.
2006-09-10 17:14:43 · update #1
stand your ground. for starters, what your grandparents said was totally wrong. they shouldnt tease you or make fun of you cos of how you look. that is completely insensitive. and if your dad cant understand that, he has a problem too. he needs to understand how they made you feel. tell him, explain it to him. then tell him to explian it to them. so they can see how wrong they were. then maybe go over there so they can apologise to you.
2006-09-10 17:13:31 · answer #1 · answered by marcvialli 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
The best thing you can do is have a conversation with your grandparents, but with your dad as mediator. He needs to stand up and be a man and at least ensure that your feelings are heard here...his duty is to raise you, not to back down in their presence.
But, is this really all one-sided? Puberty is a hard time, you should at least try to go over the situation with an objective person and see if there is any fault you carry in this, because you need to be prepared to own up to it. You may not even realize it until you examine it, but your perception may be a little skewed.
Given all that, the bottom line is, you have feelings, and if your feelings have been damaged, you have a right to express that and be heard (but without attacking), and if your grandparents will not give you that, you need to get your Dad involved in the reconciliation. Make that the price of your cooperation; tell him that you need him to be there for you, right or wrong. If he can't do that, shame on him.
The longer you wait, the more they will all be tempted to blow it off or underplay it, so if you're concerned about the holidays, you should act swiftly on this.
2006-09-11 00:14:18 · answer #2 · answered by You'll Never Outfox the Fox 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Now is the time for you to behave like a young adult.Calmly apologize to your grandparents about your childish outburst,even if they were wrong apologize anyway.Then explain to them why you became upset and ask them to give you equal respect by not criticizing your features as it hurts your feelings immensely.Make arrangements to spend more time with them,and instead of bickering come up with fun things to do with them,like board games,cards,funny movies or even an outing.
2006-09-11 00:10:33 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
All you need to do is to change your mindset about your grandparents. Because they are your grandparents, I am sure their intentions are good when they made comments about you!
Do you have to object to what they say? To avoid all your problems with them, just listen quietly to what they say. If there are negative comments, just treat them as comments and respect their views.
You have to bear in mind that their era and yours are completely different. So views and values may not remain the same. Don't expect them, as your elders, to change their values to suit yours.
The advantage for you, once you change your mindset, is that there will be peace when you are with them. Moreover, your dad and everyone else, will be happier, including you. You don't have to agree with them, but who knows, when you don't openly disagree or object?
2006-09-11 00:44:52 · answer #4 · answered by G.T. L 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Make sure you apologize for your own bad behavior, then state that you fully expect an apology in return for their bad behavior. You can say this to your dad. If you can get your grandparents to apologize, or at least admit they were wrong to your dad, then you will get the point across.
2006-09-11 00:10:44 · answer #5 · answered by Milana P 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Tell them that it hurt you and if they still dont care then tell your dad that he can go see them but you choose not to becouse they dont care aout you.And you will not put up with them treating you like that.
2006-09-11 00:15:15 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
sit down and talk to them explain that you need to give respect to get it in a calm (*non yelling) matter
2006-09-11 00:09:07 · answer #7 · answered by kathryn! 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
You need to explain to them that what they said was very hurtful to you.
2006-09-11 00:08:37 · answer #8 · answered by Kayt 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
write them a letter
2006-09-11 00:22:57 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
swallow your pride, and respect your elders.
2006-09-11 00:09:20 · answer #10 · answered by gesswh0 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋