is my brother trying to steal my boyfriend or something?
I have been dating this guy named Josh who is 18, three years younger me, he said he was straight. We have been going out for three months and he has never even kissed me, but he just met my brother a little less than two weeks ago, and yesterday I caught my brother and him kissing, with my brother straddling Josh on his bed... It looked like it would gone farther if I had not went into my brother's room, which has no lock, at that time...
Oddly Josh has always seemed homophobic around his family... So I am kind of confused...
2006-09-10 17:04:56 · 16 answers · asked by Mary 1 in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
You need to straighten out this situation before anything else happens- do you want to waste time on a relationship knowing that it won't work?
Firstly, talk to your boyfriend. Talk to him without being judgemental or biased in any way, perhaps with a neutral friend if you wish. Find out his side of the story first. It may have just been a simple act of curiousity, or he could really be hiding something and be scared to speak out, out of fear of people's opinions or views about him.
Then, if it does turn out that he is gay, or bi-curious, then help him come to terms with it, perhaps by supporting him if he decides to tell anyone. The present homophobia is probably a defence mechanism to protect himself.
Then talk to your brother. Do the same.
Hope this helps.
2006-09-11 10:28:42 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
The question is why did you walk into your brother's bedroom without knocking first, lock or no lock? Secondly, now that you have found out that Josh is either bisexual or homosexual does that change your opinion of him? It may affect the way that you view your relationship (if there is one left) with Josh, but I would ask him about this, but be gentle. It isn't uncommon to find that a brother or sister fancies the love of our lives and that the love of our lives fancies the brother or the sister of the one they are supposed to be dating! Even if your brother and Josh had gone further I have to ask myself this question, what business is it of yours if they had taken things further. Walking in on someone without knocking and using the no lock at the time to excuse this behaviour is not acceptable. Would you have wanted your brother to have walked in without knocking first?
There is no easy answer to this as your feelings must be all mixed up enough having made two discoveries at the same time. 1. Josh is bisexual/homosexual 2. Your brother is bisexual/homosexual. Whatever you do, don't blame Josh or your brother for any subsequent break-up of your relationship with Josh, this would be unfair to them both as they must have their feelings and emotions in a right state right now.
2006-09-11 00:50:15 · answer #2 · answered by tunisianboy46 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Josh is definitely gay or bisexual. He acts homophobic around his family as a cover so they won't find out his dirty little secret (presumably, his family would strongly disapprove of his homosexuality). You need to do two things. 1. Dump Josh right away (unless you like the prospect of dating a closeted gay man or bisexual who is much more into your brother than you). 2. Tell your brother that, if he ever steals one of your boyfriends again, you'll cancel his subscription to Playgirl and GQ, and delete all of the porn pictures from his computer.
2006-09-11 00:12:29 · answer #3 · answered by Perplexed Music Lover 5 · 2⤊ 0⤋
OK 1 some times we hide by acting homophobic when we are young. Now about the kissing your B/F kissing your brother, ummm we really don't have to tell you how wrong it is to be going out with you and kissing your brother and if I was you I talk to your brother also and ask what is going on.............
Good luck.................
2006-09-11 00:09:10 · answer #4 · answered by Super 4 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Going out with somebody for 3 months and not even a kiss...wow...it's hard to believe...
Give your boyfriend some time to understand what he really wants...I bet he still doesn't...or maybe he's just curious...
2006-09-11 04:40:27 · answer #5 · answered by xxx 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I imagine its probably hard for Josh to understand exactly what's going on with himself. He sounds like he is torn in several directions.
I think you need to distance yourself.
2006-09-11 00:08:17 · answer #6 · answered by tjnstlouismo 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
He's gay and confused. Homophobia is what we always refer to on this site...the more homophobic people are..the more likely that they are gay...but go easy on him..this is probably a really tough time for him as well.
2006-09-11 00:18:49 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 2⤊ 0⤋
sounds harsh but he is very likely gay or at least bi!
A romantic suggestion could be that it was just sillyness and he is saving himself for a special moment, but really, a private room, with 2 men kissing.....generally not just sillyness....you need to have a strong word with your bro too! Not very brotherly!!
2006-09-12 10:29:27 · answer #8 · answered by Nottingham man 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
girl if he was straight he would not be kissing your brother. and by the way girl go and get your self a real man who realy love and treat u right.
2006-09-11 00:38:17 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
he's just trying to deflect the scent off himself by appearing to be homophobic. sounds like he's used you as his cover. sorry chuk, better luck next time, as the scissor sisters might say.
being used isn't very nice, so am sorry that this has happened to you. am glad my brother would not hurt me the way your brother and boyfriend have.
((((((((((((((hugs)))))))))))
2006-09-11 00:31:17 · answer #10 · answered by swot 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋