should i consider this guy a friend if he only calls me once every 2 months?

Question

i have a friend whom i have known since early in high school, we have been very close friends, but lately we dont keep in touch much, he says that he's always busy with doing his school work since he is in college and always studying and sh*t. we used to hang out a lot, but then every time i call him (like once a day), he never return calls, picks up, respond to text message or voice message. so i stopped calling, i just ignore him, go on with my life, hang out with my other friends. then when he's bored or has free time to hang out, he only calls like once every 2 months. i dont even consider him as a friend anymore, but i want to know what the f*ck is his problem. is this normal to most people or should i be suspicious about this?

Answer 1

The final statement places a different slant on your question. Is the man a friend or a boyfriend?

Basic guy info for you: 1) Guys do not have the same need as women for staying in touch. To them every two months is "in touch". Listen to men talk, then you'll understand. It never matters how long of a gap between seeing each other, their conversational patterns behave as if they just saw each other yesterday. 2) If you are calling and texting every day, you are annoyibng the young man to death. College students get busy...quickly. If you are still in high school yourself, look at kids that are taking accelerated, AP or College in the Schools classes and you will have an idea of his workload. 3) Guys need space. This is a real concept, not hogwash. Girls walk with their elbows tucked in. Guys walk with their elbows out creating a wider field around themselves. The same concept applies to mental space. Give your friend a break. If you have some thing you truly cannot wait to share, then by all means send the man a message; otherwise, limit the contact to when you know he'll be home. He'll be ready to hang out then.

I have many male friends. I keep the contact limited and cheerful. We see each other when we can. I know they care about me by the reactions I receive to invitations, letters, or e-mails. I never assume because I haven't heard from one for two years that he is no longer a friend. I've learned to be patient. I will hear from them in one manner or another.

Answer 2

I really think your overreacting, At one point I didn't speak to my best friend for over a year, until one day out of the blue she calls me and we talked like never before!! Overall I haven't seen her in almost 6yrs, but we pretty much talk everyday and we have sooo much to share from our separate lives. Relax he is still your friend and always will be, he just needs space to work through his own life. Maybe he's stressed about school and doesn't feel like talking. Besides the semesters go by sooo fast, that you can easily lose track of time (from attending classed/studying). So yes it is normal for this to occur, maybe he has agendas and you don't, that's why he is always busy and you seem to be put on the back burner, don't take it personal. Just try and be there for each other in time of need, or just whenever. Good friends are hard to find, that's why your upset and I understand that, just Be a Good Friend yourself and love/like him regardless...

Be Blessed!!

Answer 3

Relationships can change with new demands in people's lives. However, I think that you are feeling like a "last resort" friend to this guy, and I don't blame you. I have been through this same thing. After I have moved on, it's like my emotions for the person have left me and I am not interested in them anymore. If the friendship evolved through trying times, but the connection was maintained, then that is different. If you were "dropped" in the process and then called on a whim, that feels like being used.

Answer 4

I think you have to accept that friendships do change and if he's been in college, he might have form other circle of friends. Perhaps you have to realise that and make other friends of your own as well. If he calls once every 2 months, he is obviously still trying to remain friends as you but perhaps not at an intensity level as much as you would like to, but he's still your friend.
Its really for you to decide if you want to move on or accept that friendship at that level. If not, move on.

Answer 5

friendship cannot be measured by the number of phone calls you make to each other..its not fair!... friendship is more than that. plus why do you worry so much that he doesnt return your call. maybe he is now busy with his world...people grow up and have to move on. if youre his friend, you will let him go. a true friend will always be there no matter what. and its not measured by phone calls only.

Answer 6

It is not necessary for someone to talk to a friend everyday or even every month to still be considered a friend. True friends can go for any length of time and not talk and still be best friends.

Answer 7

i have two life friend and now we dont get along very often. We haven't seen each other since last year actually, still my very best friends ever, so yes, I think you can call them friends.

Answer 8

he probably having a good time in college or has meet a girl or something he is probably busy so when he does try to catch up or try to make a meeting with him

Answer 9

Dear, it sounds to me like he has moved on and so should you.......I firmly believe that God puts specific people in our lives for a specific time to help us........He's still your friend, he always will be, but you may never be as close as you once were.........Take care..........

Answer 10

Maybe you shouldn't call as much. Change it to weekly or something, and maybe he won't be so "busy"