Is this Child Abuse?

Question

I I was at my son's friends birthday party tonight and the boy having the birthday squirted his step dad in the back with water. The step dad grabbed him and held him under an outside water fountain upside down for a good 30 secs and you could see he couldnt catch his breath. I took off after the step dad but everyone told me to sit down and shut up it was ok. The boy was scared, soaked and humiliated. DOes this qualify for child abuse?

I was the only one who intervened besides one person far back that yelled :thats enough" I offered to go buy the boy some dry clothes but he wouldnt go. He just sat there drenched with a terrified look on his face. It was a huge overreaction.

The mother was away going after pizza.

I ran at him and asked him what the hell was wrong with him and he started walking away because I am intimidating. There were a couple adults laughing about it. This boy was terrified.

Answer 1

Children are one of the most vulnerable in our society. They should be protected. Yes, this is child abuse. Clearly you knew it was harmful to the child. Please report this to your local child abuse hot-line. The reports can be anonymous. Usually, when an adult behaves in this manner in public, the abuse is more damaging for the child in private. You have to ask yourself Would you treat your child like this, an animal does not deserve it. Do a good deed, save a child. An if you report it and they find nothing, then at least the step father will be questioned by officials. Maybe the mother is also a victim.

You are an example for your own child. Set an example, abusers should not be tolerated.

Definition: Child abuse consists of any act of commission or omission that endangers or impairs a child's physical or emotional health and development. Child abuse includes any damage done to a child which cannot be reasonably explained and which is often represented by an injury or series of injuries appearing to be non-accidental in nature.

Answer 2

Here's the legal definition of child abuse:
"Any recent act or failure to act on the part of a parent or caretaker which results in death, serious physical or emotional harm, sexual abuse or exploitation"
(From the Child Welfare Information Gateway:)

It might qualify under "serious emotional harm", but that would need to be determined by a psychologist. So sadly, I don't think the law would agree with us that it was child abuse.

Even if it wasn't child abuse (in the technical sense), it was definitely cruel, and I think you were right to be morally outraged.

However, intervening can sometimes be counterproductive, since the step-dad could be humiliated and then take it out on the boy. Be careful you don't make things worse.

My guess is that this boy is going to be subjected to a pattern of abuse, but there isn't much you're going to be able to do about it. Life sucks sometimes.

Answer 3

I would say definitely! Today, I walked out to go to the store down the street. I walked past a car with an open back door and a child in a carseat. I looked, but figured the parent was in the patio directly across. I came back 10 minutes later, the door was still open, I looked around the car, down the street ALL AROUND, N O B O D Y. I was really trippin. I live maybe 50 yards away. I was going to go call the police or SOMETHING. Well, just then a women came out of the apartment two doors down. I waited until I saw her heading towards the car. I said "Is that your baby?" She said "Yeah" I said "Whew". She looked at me like I was interfering. I could not believe it. 10 minutes alone, with the door open. She should've been reported. Unbelievable. That's why people turn out so nuts, molested or dead. You did the right thing.

Answer 4

Definitely. It sounds like the step dad has some serious issues if he'll do that in front of people. I'd be worried about the boy, especially if his mom and the other people are passive and put up with it. I'm sure he gets a bigger ego and bigger sense of power every time he hurts his step son in front of people and gets away with it. Plus you have to wonder if the wife also show signs of being abused and what his real father thinks?

Answer 5

Yes it does.....under normal circumstances.

What were the ages of the children?

Apparently everyone is intimidated by this overgrown bully. However they may know that if there had been a confrontation it could have made it worse for the child later.

I would report it along with a list of witnesses to the police or better yet to the Dept of Child Welfare. They will investigate and your name will never be mentioned.

Answer 6

It IS abuse and is definitely an indicator of what probably goes on when no one is looking. Try to talk to the boy sometime when his father isn't around. Find out how emotionally damaged he is at this point. An easy way to be proactive but not too active is to annoymously mention it to school officials who will have the obligation to do some investigation.

Answer 7

Hell yes! I think that he overreacted to a little water. If the kid had stab him with a sword or something then these kind of extreme measures would be needed. Did anyone intervene on the kids behalf?

Answer 8

Yes that hugely qualifies as child abuse and possibly neglect. I would have a talk with the father, or the police. You can't just let something like that pass you by (especially if it's your son's friend).

Answer 9

woah! that if definitely child abuse & that man is out of control.! If that is what he's going to do to his step-son just because of a squirt of water, just imagine what he'd do any other time! get to a cop station and report on him - don't listen to the crowd but do ur own thing, the thing that you know is right.

Answer 10

Oh, God, I hope so! How horrible. good for you for sticking up for the poor kid. I'm glad someone did. Still, the step-father needs to be reported or something. If he did that in front of people, who knows what he does behind closed doors.