I go shopping with my girlfriends a lot, especially a special three of them. The problem is, every single time I go with them, I'm unable to buy anything. Either I'm too worried about whether or not they are having fun to be able to take care of my own shopping needs, another reason is that they convieniently "forget" their money, I'm not sure whether or not this is on purpose but it's about 50/50. Once I went with them with a wallet full of money, and walked out with barely anything because I had to use most of it to buy them dresses that drained my wallet. The problem is that they want to go Christmas shopping with me, and I need ALL my money for gifts, how can I tell them this without sounding bitchy and greedy.
2006-09-10 15:41:01 · 21 answers · asked by Anonymous in Family & Relationships ➔ Friends
Here's the reason, they needed dresses for this huge event and they said they would pay me back. Not happening. I dont' think they are using me, they are just not sensitive to the fact that I can't spend all my money on them.
2006-09-10 15:45:52 · update #1
I don't understand how this situation came about that you feel obligated to buy things for them? I've gone shopping with girlfriends plenty of times where I bought nothing or next to nothing and just helped her pick stuff out. I don't get why you can't just do that? Now doing this a lot to the same set of people would be kind of rude. Some people's purse is heavier than others though. If they can't afford to splurge as much as you, then I suggest that you go with them sometimes and go by yourself other times..
2006-09-10 15:44:09 · answer #1 · answered by Olivia B 6 · 3⤊ 0⤋
You don't want to look greedy and bitchy to people that are being greedy and bitchy? I wouldn't worry too much. Once you put your wallet away I have a feeling they won't be around to long.
But, stop going shopping with them and if you go out to eat ask in the beginning for separate checks. They will get the hint eventually.
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Hun, if they haven't paid you back then they are absolutely using you. If they forgot their money at home yet knew that they were going shopping for dresses for a big party, knowing that you were going and you have provided them with the means in the past, they are using you. Don't be in denial of it, accept it, learn from it and move on. These are all just learning experiences.
2006-09-10 22:44:14 · answer #2 · answered by FaerieWhings 7 · 2⤊ 0⤋
Just tell them that they are borrowing a little to much money, or if that is to mean, then say you only have enough for yourself to go christmas shopping. You shouldn't let them take your money all of the time, if they are good friends, they will understand.
2006-09-10 22:46:56 · answer #3 · answered by s 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Get a spine and say "no". Since when is it bitchy and greedy to not buy other people things they want? My recommendation is that you look up the definition of "friend" because those folks you've got going shopping with you aren't really friends. Friends don't screw friends and that's what they are doing to you.
2006-09-10 22:45:38 · answer #4 · answered by DelK 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I would approach it by bringing up in conversation that things are tight and you will need all of your money for your gifts. If that doesn't work and they still want things you may just have to put your foot down and say no. If they are true friends they will understand and if not then you will be better off without them.
2006-09-10 22:49:02 · answer #5 · answered by jessju18 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Listen girl, I know how you feel but you have to take a stand or less people with take advantage of you. I know you like shopping with your friends but in situations, like these try shopping with your mom or your siblings.
Just shop for 'petty things" with these friends. Or get rid of them period. Why would they want to put you into such a position?
2006-09-10 22:51:23 · answer #6 · answered by Lady Mandeville 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
unless they are holding you at gunpoint you have no one to blame but yourself....you dont have to give away your hard earned money...tell them the truth...you work for you not them and if you wanna spend your money then spend it and dont care what they think.......another idea might be to suggest to them the next time you are all in the mall...is that they fill out some applications in some dept stores and WORK for what they want and not be leeching bums!
2006-09-10 22:45:31 · answer #7 · answered by kimbersweet 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
they probly dont have money like you do and they are embarrased to let you know. For christmas just go shopping and if they tell you they dont have money let them know that you only have enough to buy your gifts
2006-09-10 23:07:15 · answer #8 · answered by ? 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
that's bull****, and it sounds like you do it to yourself because you are a nice person and your friends take advantage of you. all you have to be responsible for yourself. those sound like some crappy friends. i don't buy my friend anything unless it's their birthday...and half of the time i just sent them a card. i'd never go shopping with them again...stand some ground. go tell them to get a damn job. tell them their mooching days are over. they'll get over it.
2006-09-10 22:49:52 · answer #9 · answered by L 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Girl please...They are using you and they go shopping with you because they know you are going to fall for what they have planned. Tell them no, just like that and don't even feel bad about it. You don't have cheap friends...you have moochers.
2006-09-10 22:45:02 · answer #10 · answered by Truth Hurts 6 · 2⤊ 0⤋