No confidence in myself since little?

Question

I'm 25, and I really don't know what I can do to help myself. I've never had confidence in doing anything since little even though things that I'm capable of. I always have doubts in everything like what if this doesn't work out, what if this happens, what if blahblahbalah. I always get overwhelmed by people.... I'm afraid of people laughing at me. I also constantly worry about what people think about me, and I really have to stop this because it's giving me a lot of non-sense pressure, but I can't control it.

After reading this article, http://www.webmd.com/content/article/122/114930.htm, I think I really have social anexity disorder...... I have some of those symptoms.

Answer 1

Just be your self and don't worry about people so much. Try to stay away from them if it bothers you this bad. till you can understand that they are only people and who really cares what they think anyway. Be nice and walk away from the rude people, which is most of the population. Just make your Family your best friends. God Bless You!

Answer 2

It sounds a lot like a social anxiety disorder. You should see a doctor and tell him/her what is going on. Check out this website and good luck.
http://www.webmd.com/content/article/122/114930.htm

Answer 3

Stop worrying about other people's opinions b/c they don't matter at all! If your capable of something, be proud of yourself. Let go a little and relax...you'll achieve alot more not stressing about if it's not going to work out. So what if it don't! You're not perfect! But nobody is. We have to fail at things--if not, how would we learn from our mistakes? Sometimes things don't work out & it ends up for the best anyway.
Learn to loosen up a little & you'll enjoy life more b/c it won't be so clouded by constant worry & fear of imperfection.
And so what if someone laughs at you...laugh with them. If you don't laugh at yourself sometimes, you'll never learn to live life & have fun doing it. That's the point isn't it? To have fun living?

Answer 4

Hi there,

I hope you eventually feel better around people, it'll probably take some time, but just have faith in yourself and everything will be alright.

Here are some tips for you:

*Stop caring what anyone thinks of you anymore. For how short life is, we shouldn't put an un-necessary burden on ourselves.

*Don't be hard on yourself! Take it from me, I'm still learning.

*Remember, you are loved and love yourself, so treat yourself.

*Find your own spiritual outlet but don't get fanatical cause its unhealthy. Check out http://www.beliefnet.com/

*Don't take life too seriously.

*Have some good fun.

Take a trip to the bookstore, watch a movie with a friend, go eat out, watch a concert, listen to upbeat music and take an afternoon nap. I know you may be thinking these are things that you believe may make you uncomfortable. But imagine, how would life be different if you woke up one morning in Iraq? You wouldn't even have the freedom or joy to be around other people. So take it as a blessing. Just conquer your fears. Life with fear is like poison. Be victorious in life and love yourself and love others, enjoy their company and they will enjoy yours.

-All these tips are very healthy to practice.

Remember love conquers all your fears. Be around those you love, show them love and you will be loved.

Good luck! I hope this life finds you well.

Answer 5

i had that growing up. just a sign of low self esteem and a bunch of other crap. meds, a therapist can fix this. but i remember always wearing a shirt over my butt, cause it's big! i'm a big girl here. anyway the summer i was 19 sir mix alot came out with his big butt song. and i thought people were staring at me when that song came out. i didnt know if the guys hitting on me were just curious cause of the song, or what. anyway i gave myself a mantra. (which is a form of behavior modification, something a therapist could explain more of). i would say"i am gorgeous, i am hot. out of all the billions of people in this world there has to be atleast 3 people who like me. i will not be ashamed of who i am. i will be proud. i will be strong." yes it's a long mantra but i am still a big girl, and i think i'm the bees knees. i LOVE ME!! and i live on this planet, i own my space, i own my words, i own my image and i dont have to be ashamed or afraid of what others think of me! give up the fear friend, and you will get a whole new world!!

Answer 6

i don't really know what else to say except.. who cares what other people think about you... it doesn't matter if they think anything about you. cuz all it comes down to is you. do you like who you are? what do you think of yourself? are you pretty happy with your life? and stuff like that that only you can answer. no one can answer for you. only you know the true you... i know what its like to think "oh what will so and so think about me if i..." you know but i have kinda figured out it doesn't matter anymore what anyone thinks about me. you know i still care alot somteims what my family thinks of me.. and then i try to get my self to stop... i don't really know how to give you more confidence in yourself except to tell you just to believe in yourself more don't worry so much about wht others will think... cuz if you stop caring what their judgements will be on you you will start having more fun in life and you will find it is a lot easier to live when you don't care about every little situation and thing you know? i really hope you the best. Good Luck! im sorry if i couldn't help.. i tried the best i could...♥

Answer 7

There are many thoughts that go through ones mind. It takes practice to teach yourself a new way of processing. Try changing your thought pattern. This is how it works, every time you have a negative thought, you train yourself with a positive thought. Usually people repeat these negative thoughts in their heads over and over (I am so fat, or I am ugly). Try telling your self, I am beautiful, I love myself, I can do it, I am intelligent...

The negative programming you explain has taken many years. This takes time and wont work over night. Good Luck.

Also try surrounding yourself with positive people.

Answer 8

Bear in mind that I'm only guessing and not pretending to know anything at all. Having said that,

It stikes me that there is a chance you could have some anxiety disorder; but it also strikes me that maybe you had people around you who didn't take you seriously when you were little. You know, like if you were afraid of a monster under the bed someone may make you feel stupid. Sometimes parents or other older people (even siblings) don't realize what they're doing, but they can make a little kid feel like they aren't going to agree with whatever it is she says or does. The child becomes over-worried. Sometimes critical parents (or an older sibling) can get a child in an "emotional mode" of always being ready to be criticized; and sometimes a person may actually start thinking up the potential criticism ahead of time in order to "fend it off" before it ever becomes real.

Sometimes a person who is very critical and judgmental of others thinks everyone is like he/she is, when, really, most people don't pay much attention to most stuff others do (unless its really bizarre and they can't help but notice).

There's something to be said for "what if" because it means you're attempting to think of all the consequences. You have to be able to sort out real possible consequences and things that aren't all that likely to happen. You have to know when to tell yourself that you've made your decision, and if something goes wrong you'll deal with it when and if something comes of it.

I once heard this: People say "self-conscious" when what they ought to reall say is "others conscious" because they worry about other people's having opinions.

If you're a kind of quiet person or maybe even a small or short person, and if you're feminine and/or maybe have a soft voice; these are the things that can attract criticism from others. They are also the things that could make you a target for other people's underestimating you or misunderstanding you.

I've you're grown up with too many opinions from parents or others, have been criticize, have been underestimated to the point where you feel you have to cover all the possible bases in order not to bring on "verbal attack" by people who may not yell but use words that are more deadly than yelling. or if you're used to not having people take you seriously these things could have done it.

You can know in your head that you're ok, but emotionally you're always going to be on the ready when it comes to trying to make sure you make no mistakes that someone (even if you've taken on the role of critic yourself at this point) may criticize. You are probably trying to cover all the bases because you keep thinking that will give you a sense of sureness.

If you don't have sureness it could be your personality or it could be that over the course of your life you've been "pushed down" even if the people who have done it didn't mean any harm to you. If you have grown up in the "emotional mode" of expecting criticism or not to be taken seriously or that it will be assumed whatever you think or do isn't quite the way it should be thought or done; you'll have the emotional response of anxiety whether or not there is any reason for it.

Now that you're grown the stakes are higher, and maybe your anxiety is either compounded by that or is just showing up more because now you know you're older and shouldn't be this way.

Either you just have some chemical imbalance that is giving you anxiety or else maybe you just haven't developed the thinking skills (specific ways of analyzing a situation and the validity of worries) to be able to calmy make decisions you're sure of or else maybe somebody/somebodies in this world have done a job on you emotionally (even if they didn't mean to).

If "the world" has made you feel as if you can't/won't be taken seriously you can know in your head that what you think is fine, but emotionally you feel helpless because you can't get the world to take you seriously - so you start to see yourself as ineffective when it comes to this particular thing. You can know you're intelligent or capable or honest or emotionally solid (for the most part), but that one thing (the fact that you have been ineffective for some reason in getting people to take what you say seriously) makes you feel ineffective in that single-but-important way.

Somehow you just feel, "What kind of loser cannot get anyone to take her seriously?" It makes you feel shrunken down, little and weak. All anxiety brings up "brain chemicals" that then make you feel even more uncertain.

You may consider seeing a counselor for the problem you've described because it wouldn't be at all ridiculous for you to seek help with this issue. Other than that, I don't know if anything I've said will ring any bells for you or not. If you can figure out where the thing that people are laughing at you may come from you may be able to figure out the root of the problem, get angry and then start to see yourself differently.

If, on the other hand, you just have an anxiety disorder with no explanation then only therapy and/or medication can help. You're young. don't expect too much of yourself right now. Maybe you haven't had enough experiences that made you feel good about yourself to have had the chance to build up some confidence on your own.