is this considered mind games, or is this normal???

Question

almost every time my boyfriend and i argue, he tells me he has had it with me and i should move on, then when we get along he says he never wants me to leave and we are gonna be together forever. then when i'm feeling insecure he doesn't know why..

Answer 1

Baby, it's the game of life..we all have said/will say things that we may not "literaly" mean...When people are emotional, things come out the mouth that can be very hurtful or very beautiful, but don't take everything to the heart. If things don't work out between you too you will live and move on anyway

Answer 2

Yes, this is probably mind games. This guy is telling you -- quite without meaning to -- that he's afraid that you'll leave him. So when you argue, he tests you to see if you'll stay. And when you're getting along, he gets clingy. The problem is that he's insecure. He needs to get over it; even minimal understanding of women (which is what most guys have) lets one know what a big turnoff that is for women. If he continues to doubt that you want to be with him, then someday you won't. And feel free to show him this reply -- maybe it'll inspire him to get some counseling (which he likely needs).

Answer 3

Guessing this is a pretty young relationship, if he is not making you happy maybe it is time to move on. You have the right to feel insecure this guy doesn't sound like he knows what he wants. Telling someone that " they have had it with you" is an immature threat.

Answer 4

Sounds like the warning signs of an abusive personality, one minute really nice and the next minute not so nice, then really nice again. If you want to play his games for the rest of your life, then stay and know that they will continue. But, don't be the girl which stays even though she knows it's not right, he's telling you to move on and I agree you should just move on.

Answer 5

I think, in order for something to be mind games, there has to be some awareness on the part of the person saying those things that they are doing it. In order words, I believe mind games are things you say and do in order to cause a particular response or action. You boyfriend may just be broadcasting his bad self-esteem, anxieties and jealousies to you when he says those things. Ultimately, you will have to be the judge of whether he is playing games with you.

Answer 6

Some people just don't know how to fight fair, and they say things they don't mean when they are angry. Tell him what you just wrote and ask him not to say things like that when you fight, because it confuses you and makes you have doubts. Next time he does that, turn to him and in a serious manner say o.k. then if you want to break up let's break up. If he wants to break up, then you'll be better off ending it then, if not then he might start to understand how that kind of thing hurts you when you fight and might stop saying it.

Answer 7

Mind games - and why are you putting up with it?

It does not sound like a healthy, mature relationship at all. Let him play his little "under my thumb" routine with someone else.

Answer 8

Mind games of an ignorant pig. Leave him before he starts abusing you, then says "I'm sorry, I love you and will never do that again."

Answer 9

It is very normal. cos he loves you too much and sometimes when arguments occur he felt too much of a pain that he don wished to prolong it and wished for a break up but in the actual fact he loves you deeply! you try and leave him and he will turn crazy in a second.

Answer 10

i would think that he is messing with you because i myself do that with some people, but on the other hand, he might be just mad because of the argument, and when you get along he feels that way. you really cant tell unless you ask him.