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I don't know how to move on and stop feeling this pain. I broke up with my b/f yesterday after a year and a half because he was very emotionally abusive towards me and would have very bad mood swings. For weeks on end he would love me like I meant everything and then for days on end he would treat me like crap. It hurts so much because he confused me and broke me down with all of his different personalities. I am sick of talking about this and I know people are tired of hearing it but I just need some support and direction right now in my life. We are both 29 and since I have been with him I turned into his little puppet. I swore he got off on seeing me hurt and saw it all as a power trip.

2006-09-10 15:03:40 · 11 answers · asked by Kit Katt 2 in Family & Relationships Other - Family & Relationships

11 answers

Some people are not capable of bringing themselves up, so they try to bring those around them down. I guess he could see the inner strength in you, ( the person that you are going to be again ) now that you have ditched him. You have done the right thing, you know in your heart it is the right thing, so be positive that from now on you are going to get your old self back, and just think how much better that will be for the right man who is just waiting to meet you. good Luck.

2006-09-11 00:27:24 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

Hi dear its very sad when things come to an end. But its good that its over which was so painful to keep it going. If my assumption goes right he was very stable when ur relationship started and may be his behavioural changes started after couple of months then he has lost interest in you but he dont know how to put an end to this. So he is very volatile and unpredictable at times. It is only when he needed you he act loving and caring and rest of the times he is rude. So I think he is just using you for his needs. So its better that u have moved away now. So search all again and start a fresh with positive note. There are lot of people waiting out there to have a beautyful person like you. Cheers......

2006-09-10 20:01:07 · answer #2 · answered by urbanbabu 2 · 0 0

This is easier said but this break up is the best thing that could have happened to you. It will take a while for you to get over him bc you loved him (im assuming you did if you stayed with him through the emotional abuse), but when you finally do, you will be so much happier. Since that relationship was so terrible, it wont be too difficult for your next one to be better.

Emotional abuse is just as difficult to deal with as physical. It is hard for friends to hear your story bc you stayed with a guy that abused you. You breaking up with him and being distraught is no surprise to your friends. I don't agree with your friends behavior, but I see their position.

What I reccommend is to work out. Exercising releaes endorphins in the brain and that will really do alot for your physical and mental health. Yoga is wonderful bc the positions cannot be mastered until your mind is fully cleared (I have not done yoga, but I know that from others experience). Hanging out with friends and going to the bars is ok, but that gets old. I reccomend the health route.

Whatever you choose, good luck. Again, getting rid of that loser is teh best thing that could happen to you.

2006-09-10 15:19:58 · answer #3 · answered by Me 3 · 0 0

Emotional abuse is far more damaging than anyone appreciates and takes a great deal of support from friends, professionals and even medication to help you deal with it or you will go back time and time again! I was subjected to 26years of emotional abuse, I left just over 3 years ago and have a very dear friend who has helped me every step of the way, however, I have almost gone back to my ex several times. I am currently on anti-depressants as I still feel slight guilt for leaving, but everyone I get one step away from his hold. Seek professional help and good luck x

2006-09-10 22:28:41 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

been there, went through the same as you and came out the other side thankful that I left - you're an emotional wreck right now hun, its gona take time and patience and a lot of hard work to rebuild your life but you WILL get through it.
Take up a new hobby, or join a club where you can make new friends and start afresh. Youll be fine in a couple of weeks - trust me! Anytime you feel like chatting please feel free to mail me.

2006-09-10 22:09:04 · answer #5 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

I know exactly where you are coming from, my ex partner was exactly the same with me, by the time I got rid of him I was so low you could have scraped me off the floor. I was carrying his baby at the time so his mental and eventual physical abuse (happened once and that spurred me to get rid of him) affected me deeply as it was already an emotional time. It took me a couple of weeks to get over the initial split and then a few months to start believing in myself and turning all his nasty comments into something positive... You'll get over him, and how he has made you feel, just give yourself time and think positive.

2006-09-10 21:39:33 · answer #6 · answered by Not called Katie 3 · 0 0

is he taking any drugs which wld explain his mood swings? try to enrol on a course at college or anywhere to do something for yrself whether it be education or fitness even self defence classes (which id suggest).. i also have the same plm with my partner he tells me i need to get out more so when i suggest something like a gym or dance class or even going to see a concert with my younger cousin he finds a way of getting me down and i decide not to go also bec iv got kids its easier for me to back down so i do pls pls pls dont let him do the same to you, the more confident u become the weaker he becomes and his sense of control will slip and i promise he will try every trick in the book to make u believe u arent good enough but when u have finished yr course or whatever it is u choose to do who would u believe in the most at the end????

2006-09-10 18:25:22 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0 0

when you have been with some1 for so long you seem to lose you self confidence

what you need to do girl is slap on that make up get out your best gear ring the girls n go out for a girls night out
at a time like this you need your mates around you to help take your mind off things remind your self that its all about you now
and in time the pain will heal you cant just wake up 1 morning and it gone sorry i wish it would couz im feeling it to sept iv bin with my ex unfortunately for 6yrs

2006-09-10 15:21:53 · answer #8 · answered by vic84 1 · 0 0

You know what to do...you got out of a bad realatinship and that's the first step...your sick of his sh**...now it's all about you what will make you feel good...going out with old friends to meet new friends...if not that go for a jog or join the gym...do something for you and don't think about him...you say he gets off seeing you hurt...well let him see you getting on with your life...you can do it!

2006-09-10 15:12:49 · answer #9 · answered by dod civi 2 · 0 0

its horrible and painfull when someone u love hurts u... but just let it out.... and remember the bad things he did to you.... be strong.... u had good memories, yes, u lived a special time... but no matter how special it was if was worse the bad and sad time! analize your life... and at least just was 1 year.. or go to the terapist

2006-09-10 18:52:49 · answer #10 · answered by IAN 2 · 0 0

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