Is marrying a slightly older woman discouraged?

Question

I am almost 21 and have been with my g/f for over 4 yrs. She is my first real g/f and is 18 months older than me. If things go well, we plan on getting married in 2009. When I told my father that I plan on marrying her, he discouraged me. He told me that it's not a good idea to marry an older woman as women age quickly and by the time she is 35, I will be looking for a younger woman. My father was 29 and my mother was 19 when they got married. He recommends me to get married to someone 5-12yrs younger.

I couldn't believe he said that. I still want to marry her even though she is slightly older than me.

Answer 1

My wife is older than me.

If she can make you smile than I say ok.

You might want to wait until you are closer to 29 though.

24 is very young to be getting married.

Answer 2

I find it very strange that he would say such a thing. Follow your heart my friend. You are right to question your Father's wisdom on this one! You know yourself...would you be looking for someone younger just because your wife had a few gray hairs? Women don't age any quicker than men do in my view...but then I am a woman, lol...so I might be a bit bias here. It sounds like your Father puts a whole lot of emphasis on "age" and "looks" and has forgotten the "main" reason people connect...sure looks are important, but not nearly as important as personality...without a good personality a great looking person can be very unattractive. SOOO, trust yourself. You know how you feel and you know right from wrong. Aging together is a really neat thing...my husband and I have been together for 18 years...been married for almost 15 of those years and let me tell you what. We love each other more now than we did then. I'm 35 and he is almost 38 and we both have a few gray hairs...and have put on a some pounds, but our love doesn't waver. By the way, if it were reversed and I was 38 and he was 35, I feel sure that he would still be here loving me, because it is all about the personality of the two people and the faith and love for one another. Your dad may feel that way, but you clearly don't. Believe in you! Good luck.

Answer 3

Well i sure hope that marrying an older woman isnt discouraged!! My fiance is 24 (male) and I (female) am 26. I met my fiance when he was 19 turning 20 and i was 21 turning 22. So he is 2 years younger than me! Dont listen to your father. No one knows that my fiance is younger than me unless they ask. The age difference is so close that no one seems to care.
I always looked for older men but the best man I ever found happened to be 2 years younger. But I even have female close friends that are younger and older than me, so if i can be friends with girls older and younger than me then I think I can have a man older or younger.
In addition women typically live longer than men so i always joke with my fiance that maybe we will die at the same time when we are older :)
Dont listen to your dad or anyone else! Tell your dad the woman who happens to be right for you is a little bit older, that is it. She isnt an alien, all it means is that her parents happen to have had sex just a little sooner than yours!
On another note: my dad is 5 years older than my mom and my fiances dad is older than his wife too but it doesnt mean anything. It has been tradition that the woman be younger most likely because men used to only marry virgins. And also I am my fiance's first GF too, just like you with yours. If you feel uncomfortable still just tell new people you are her age and she is your age :). I also joke about that too with my fiance, that I'll say im 24 and he can be 26.

Answer 4

This is poor advice from your dad. Marry someone 5-12 years YOUNGER? You're 21...are you going to seriously consider someone who's NINE now? Marry whomever you feel is right for you. If you've been with your girlfriend for four years already, it sounds like you've got yourselves a serious relationship now and not one you can just drop because your dad said you should want someone younger. Gosh, that could really hurt your girl if you told her that. It's only 18 months, not 18 YEARS. If she's 35 and you're looking for a "younger woman," I would think you've got other issues going on. You're pretty much at your sexual peak now, honey...when she's 35, she'll be at hers. Consider the possibilities!

Don't listen to your dad. Maybe he means well but this is not a big deal. If you love her and you want to go ahead, by all means, GO! It's not like you're rushing into things here....

My grandmother was about 15 months older than my grandfather. They were married in 1935 and were together for 50 years, and had seven kids, before my grandpa died. She lived for nearly 20 years after he passed away.

Answer 5

My mom is 4 years older than my dad and they have been married 51 years. Love is love.

18 months is not a significant gap, anyway. You went to class in high school with kids 18 months older than you were.

If you can stay engaged until 2009, go for it!
Love is love! Have fun!

Answer 6

It ain't ever the years, sweetie, it's the mileage. Guys rather peak out at 18. It is all down hill for you all after that. Women don't really come alive until sometime in their 20's. Men die on average 7 years younger than women. The smartest thing for a lady to do is to marry a guy 10 years younger than she. but then, you probably didn't think of that. Further, it was always a tradition from Roman times until just recently, for men to marry younger women, since men were interested in producing children to care for him in his old age. Further, fathers would want their daughters to marry older men, since they were usually established in a trade or profession and could better support her and her children. All of that sort of thing is out the window, now that women have the vote (since the 1920's in the US) and have equal opportunities in job attainment. Still think you want a younger woman???? She is the one who should wait, and marry a younger guy.

Answer 7

You dad sounds pretty immature to me. Age has nothing to do with it. Love is wonderful at any age. I know two very successful marriages where the wife is 10 years older than the husband. I really take offense at the idea that I am not worth the effort to love if I am not young enough. I happen to look about 10 years younger than my actual age. I keep active and the sex keeps getting better and better. I know my man would agree that age has nothing to do with how you feel about someone and you can't judge a person's worth by their age. You need to ignore the bull that your dad is giving you. Love your girl with all your heart and live a long and happy life together.

Answer 8

18 months? are you kidding. Your practically the same age. I bet if she knew you thought this , she'd be really pissed at you.15 to 20 years , ya , you got a problem . this is the 21'st century and your dad is from another era. one in which the women get old and the men look for younger models. women don't get old any more my man.Too many beauty products ya know. I think maybe the bigger question is . Is she too mature for you.

Answer 9

If you love her it shouldn't matter what she looks like when she is 35. She is only a year and a half older than you, what is the big deal. I can see if she is 15 or 20 years older but come on. You do what you feel is right, your dad lived his life how he chose. Only you are able to decide who you want to marry.

Answer 10

If you marry someone because of their looks/image then your father is right. If you marry for a lifelong companion, then stick with her!May you look back at this day along with your lovely wife…and smile in contentment. Best wishes!