I have been with the ame guy for a while now and we just got engaged in June but evrything is not good. We moved into our house last month and he is never home.. He picks up my son fromdaycare on fridays and then once i get homefrom work he is gone. I dont know what time he comes home because i dont even wait up anymore but I was up last night and he came in at like 3 in the morning. He says that he wants to marry me but how can you want to marry somebody that you dont even spend time with? We had a really big argument about this yesterday and havent been talking to each other since then just walking past each other and not speaking. I love him to death and I know that he also loves me but I can only take so much of this. what should I do? I dont think that he is cheating or anything like that becasue I always have a feeling if somthing like that is going on and I dont have that feeling, but I am really scared that if this problem isnt fixed we wont make it to the altar. Help!
2006-09-10 13:46:10 · 18 answers · asked by just me 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
leave
2006-09-10 13:47:40 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
Your attitude should be......."if he wont' fix this with me......I won't make it to the altar. Sounds like you shouldn't even be thinking of getting married. I'm not saying to leave...it sounds like you have something major to work out. Tell him what you need.......ask him what he needs from you........and make a commitment to each other that you're worth the effort to each other. If he won't listen, write each other letters. Or sit in the same room together and pass each other notes, promising not to say a word, until you've come to some sort of idea about what is going on. You also have to be completely honest. If you don't have honesty, you probably shouldn't be thinking about marriage.
2006-09-10 13:56:06 · answer #2 · answered by rere 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Go with the intuition because it is often true. It sounds like he is possibly cheating on the relationship. Does he offer an opportunity to join him on these evenings out? Also, the problem can't be fixed without him wanting to work on the problem with you. It is an idea to have a good solid conversation about this problem before setting a date and making downpayments for wedding facilities.
2006-09-10 15:53:41 · answer #3 · answered by dawncs 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to get the problem fixed before heading into marriage. Don't be so certain he is NOT cheating on you. Do you ever ask him where he goes and who he has been with? Maybe you need to start asking more questions in order to figure out if he is ready to take on the responsibilities of a marriage.
2006-09-10 14:42:07 · answer #4 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Play Fire with Fire......Do to him what he is doing to u.
Go to your mothers or a friends and come in at 3 in the mornin and see if he likes it.
Sounds like he is not the settle down type but wants u to play
moma for him.
He is takin advantage that u are there. If he dont make u happy, u dont even need to be with him.
If he makes u happy, guess it wouldnt matter where he wuz cause u trust him. Listen to your instinct and heart on this one.
Pray to God for guidance, things will go with the flow
2006-09-10 13:55:01 · answer #5 · answered by sunflare63 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You have to have a heart to heart with him. Tell him that you cannot go through with the wedding plans if things are like this. Tell him you really love him but that you also want to spend time together also. Maybe he can go out every other Friday. Good luck.
2006-09-10 13:51:35 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Forget the altar. He comes in at 3:00 am but he's not cheating?
You two do NOT need to be together.
2006-09-10 13:49:39 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
You need to tell him this instead of us. What good is the relationship going to be if you two cannot communicate. Just sit him down and tell him what you can and cannot live with. You two come to a happy medium. Or else.. just leave.
2006-09-10 13:50:58 · answer #8 · answered by Peanut Butter 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
just say to him that, if he's not willing to spend time with you, then there will be no marriage. because if you do decide to marry him, then he'll continue to do the same that he does now even after marriage. it's either him not coming home to spend time with you and no marriage, or spend more time with you and get married. that's his choice.
2006-09-10 13:50:06 · answer #9 · answered by superboredom 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If your having problems like that and a compromise can't be made...the marriage doesn't need to happen! It will be completely unhappy.
I'm not saying you need to leave him but I would defiently wait to get married!
2006-09-10 15:33:56 · answer #10 · answered by monroe1172002 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Leave. If he is doing it now, he will continue to do it after you are married. You shouldn't continue with a bad situation, it'll only make it worse.
2006-09-10 13:49:16 · answer #11 · answered by ajd1bmf 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋