How do I get my girlfriend to acknowledge how much damage is done to a very deep loving and loyal partner under the following circumstances - we seperate after 9 years and continue doing regular things and still have sex on occasions , she then tells me that a friend is only that when pressed on an issue that bothers me , at the same time she says the exact words she would never dishonour our relationship by engaging in sex with him and besides he does not want to since we are still seeing each other and I am working towards a better relationship and they dont meet often I believe her and want to believe her then after a questionable situation later on we discuss his role she again confirms he is a friend I express that whilst we are conducting ourselves in this way I would consider her sleeping with anyone so devastating that it would affect my life without any more words and voluntarily she promises never to sleep with anyone till she is certain - 24 hours later she breaks her vow
2006-09-10 13:28:58 · 24 answers · asked by cubbearrobot 1 in Social Science ➔ Psychology
Both of you have been together for 9 years... obviously it is difficult to start off with...
If she can breaks her vow in within 24hrs and jeopardised the relationship...I am so sorry to say...she will do it again....and you will be heart broken again...do you really think it is worth it to let all these to ruin your life? There are still many fishes in the sea....
To be honest....We cant tell you what to do....this is your life....we can only give our opinions....in the end of the day....if you are happy being with her....go ahead....do not listen to anyone as you yourself know better about the relationship than anyone else.....you are in the relationship with her...not us....
ALL THE BEST!!! =)
2006-09-10 13:46:12 · answer #1 · answered by zanlexuan 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If she has slept with someone in adulterous circumstances, i.e. being in a non married situation then clearly as a good muslim you must get your pals to stone her to death.
Clearly she wants you to prove that you really care about her, that you care enough to break her lovers arms and legs and throw him in the regents canal wearing a concrete overcoat.
Are you not a bit old for this sort of thing after 9 years, Cancer Zimmer frames and incontinence loom, sex will become a memory and only the value of your gold stashed out of reach of the Tax man will have any real meaning.
At the end of the day if she keeps a tidy house and cooks a nice pork chop let her have her fun, if not kick her out and get a fillipino or russian girl out of exchange and mart to marry..
2006-09-10 13:56:21 · answer #2 · answered by "Call me Dave" 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
First it was not a vow as vows go. She just stated she would not and then she did. Her statement was probably given under what she considered duress from you if the way you speak is the way you write and this was the quickest way to move on to other things.
Your choice now is whether or not to forgive and accept or to not forgive and accept. Then you drop the matter and talk of it no more.
If you cannot do that then its time for you to move on to another relationship with someone who can be faithful to you.
2006-09-13 23:57:18 · answer #3 · answered by ? 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
maybe this is the time where you both cut the ties between you
i have been in a similar situation where me and my partner which we was 2gether 4 6yrs and we had split up for a year we were still sleeping 2gether and both promised not to sleep with any1 else well with in that yr he managed to sleep with some other girl and got her pregnant and was still sleeping with her when denying it for a whole year so maybe you wanna take this advice and for get about it as it will eat you up inside belive me its not a nice thing to go through
2006-09-10 15:07:46 · answer #4 · answered by vic84 1 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It's either:
1) over, so move on buddy,
or
2) you REALLY love her, so if she did sleep with this guy then you'll forgive her (because it was just a bit of sex, OK) & forget about the vows (yours or hers?) and make it work.
You've been trying for nine years, you should know by now. Time to be honest with yourself, I think.
2006-09-10 13:43:09 · answer #5 · answered by fruitbat7711 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Frankly you sound like a total psycho!
Do you understand what the word 'separate' actually means?
Moreover, I suspect these 'promises' your ex supposedly made were more than likely simply an attempt to humour you!
You are behaving like a total jerk-get over yourself.
2006-09-10 13:51:36 · answer #6 · answered by richy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Tell her that what she did nis not cool and that you dont want to her to ever come near you again because she disgust you because she broke her promise not to be afithful even though ya'll are seperated. So let her know and get it straight.
2006-09-10 13:31:14 · answer #7 · answered by jigglet92 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She may not acknowledge it. What you need to do is ask yourself why you want to try to get back together with someone who obviously doesn't care about the relationship.
2006-09-10 13:32:07 · answer #8 · answered by Justsyd 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think she considers you to be a lazy and weak person, if not she will not promise you and brake the promise just like that. You should better forget her and move on.
2006-09-10 23:17:31 · answer #9 · answered by G.I noel 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Seems to me that she has made a decision. You need to move on. She is sleeping with someone else. She has already lied to you. Drop her buddy and fast!
2006-09-10 13:40:26 · answer #10 · answered by mary c 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋