I'm not the right person to give you advice but an opinion would be that due to your past abuse experiences, you've lost your trust in the physical aspects of a relationship. Obviously this is frustrating for you as well as for your b/f but it seems to me, based on how you speak of him, that he's been both patient and non-aggressive so maybe you could just try a little harder to have some trust in him and start slowly with the physical aspects of a relationship with him. If you take that first small step, for example just some light foreplay, and have had the understanding with him that you're nervous about it and expect him to go slow with you then I believe you could find your trust and confidence again in the physical aspects of a genuine relationship.
2006-09-10 13:25:53
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answer #1
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answered by fun_guy_otown 6
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odd.... while i waited longer than the age of 15 (i was 18) i can understand a little, but only in so far as the way our lifes started. i too was abused but had put it out of my mind - literally - didn't even realize/remember until i was 18 -- see the correlation. then, i went on a sex binge because it didnt mean anything to me- waht used to be something i wanted to "save" for mister right - yeah, was laready gone. i then took a hiatus, for me it was when i reopened my life to my faith (I'm a Roman Catholic). i'm not trying to get all "bible thumping" on you, just sharing what worked for me. finding my faith and getting back into it helped me. if you have someone you can talk to that has more credibilty than a bunch of strangers (myself included) i would recommend it whole heartedly.
it sounds like you are regretting the past and afraid that, as with the past sexual partners, once sex comes into play, this current bf will go away too. sex is a part of a relationship but IMO it's also part of a committment. i truly think you should find a professional with whom you can talk - i say this because it helps and NOT because you're a nutcase. honey, if you were, i'd be in the case next to yours as would a lot of people!!!
2006-09-10 20:28:12
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answer #2
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answered by Marysia 7
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u are honestly traumatized. Honestly you should get or church counciling or therapy to help you get over this. You may think that you being abused has nothing to do with your problem but it does. You don't feel comfortable. Someone took something that very important to you and you can't back. It's not supposed to b taken that's not right, giving it to the right person is the right way. Tell your bf the situation and if he really loves he want to no more and will do whateva to make it work even if means to go to therapy with you. That's what he should to help you. Go to church to it will work.
2006-09-10 20:32:49
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answer #3
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answered by Chelly luv 2
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You are not a nut case. I think you should honestly see a psychiatrist or talk to someone close to you that you can trust. Sometimes when a woman has been abused or violated it's hard to forget. Maybe you can talk to your boyfriend and he will help you find a solution. These are only suggestions. I've been in your shoes, feel free to contact me if you need a friend.
2006-09-10 20:27:36
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answer #4
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answered by trisha 2
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Sounds like you have had surpressed memories of a sexual abuse and it is bothering you emtionally and mentally.I will suggest you see a therapist to get help in moving on from the abuse.Alot of times,as a child you want to forget it so you put it out of your mind,but the bad thing is,it resurfaces and causes great mental anguish.
2006-09-10 22:15:14
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answer #5
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answered by leoslady3900 3
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If you and your partner are in love ,then he will be ok with this... tell him how you feel.
Its not fair for you to feel this way - are you able to enjoy any other sexual acts like foreplay?
I think it would be a good idea to have some councelling - it may help you discover what it is that makes you feel this way and to overcome it..!
Good luck!
2006-09-10 22:36:44
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answer #6
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answered by Anonymous
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maybe something 'triggered' your memory of abuse 4 years ago? perhaps you have pushed the memory down for so long that it has started to surface? there could be a number of reasons why this has happened. i think the best way to go would be to seek out a sexual abuse counsellor and try to find the reason why this has happened.
2006-09-10 20:27:22
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answer #7
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answered by leolady0765 4
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You need therapy. Anyone who has been sexually abused needs to have professional help. There is no way you can get over it by yourself. Do what is best for yourself and your BF and get help.
2006-09-10 20:21:48
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answer #8
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answered by notyou311 7
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You do need professional help.PLEASE! For your own good. At first I thought you were saving your self for marriage.But if you already had it and was cool. You have unresolved issues. Seek some help.
2006-09-10 20:28:44
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answer #9
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answered by whataboutme 5
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You have to get counseling. Call a hotline if you want to be anonymous. It is far too serious for any of us here to help you with in depth.
2006-09-10 20:23:58
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answer #10
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answered by just browsin 6
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