I allways heard once you get maried and have kids your "intimate" time tends to fade away. I have four kids under the age of 8 and romance just ain't happening quite often enough for my liking. Is it just me and my wife or are others being cut off too. Also, how frequently do you get to have sex with your spouse? Daily, weekly, monthly? Just wondering if we are the only ones not gettin' any.
2006-09-10 13:03:09 · 36 answers · asked by dudeman 4 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Four kids, under 8? I can see why. Well, there is a certain balance of time, energy, and privacy involved. When the kids are little, it should be expected that the sex life slows a little. Don't worry though, it picks up again as the kids get older, and they require less hand holding.
My hubby and i slacked off a bit when the kids were babies, but now that the little one can entertain himself for short stints, hubby and I find moments for ourselves. The trick is to acknowledge to each other that you miss each other, and look forward to when the kids are a little older. Don't pressure for more now, just tell her that you still think she is sexy, you love her, and that you look forward to your years ahead. The last thing you want to happen is for either of you to think that the lack of sex means you are drifting apart.
2006-09-10 13:49:52 · answer #1 · answered by burpolicious 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well I have been married for 15 yr.s this past June.And well when I had our last child 11 yr.s this past June.Things changed awhole lot.It does not matter if the kids are asleep or at school we might do it 2 about 3 times a month.Then 2 yr.s ago i had to have my utras removed & things still has not changed.I would like to have it more but hubby does not want it as much.So if anyone can tell you why sex is just not there any more let every 1 else that is going throught the something know
2006-09-10 13:22:26 · answer #2 · answered by m.green1973 1 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Every single couple is different. There are some couples that have been together 20 years...have 5 kids under the age of 16 and they ARE ALWAYS having sex. Then there are couples that have been together 5 years with one child...3 years old...and they never have sex. If you want to be with your wife, you must find - NO - Make the time and get the energy to romance her...SHOOTS, JUST TAKE HER! She probably needs it more than you do...
2006-09-10 13:09:29 · answer #3 · answered by ladydrea2918 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
The reason you are getting less is because the kids are so plentiful & so young! Once they get a little older, things will pick up!
The best way to get through this dry spell is to make sure you are pulling half the diaper duty, and make sure that neither you nor your wife are doing more than the other. This way, you will have positive feelings for each other, plus more energy.
Then, schedule a "date" after you have the kids in bed. It sounds funny, but it does work. Start even the day before your date with sending each other little love notes, or leaving cutesy/suggestive voice mails for each other, little smiles, sneak little kisses.... build it up!
2006-09-10 13:08:28 · answer #4 · answered by from HJ 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm 22 and my husband is 24 we have a 1 yearold daughter and a 2 yearold son we do it about 4 times a week we have to wait till they go to bed though sometimes if the kids don't go to bed till late then we just cuddle in bed because from the kids staying up all night we're too tired to do anything with eachother it can be tough I don't think intimacy fades away I believe two people just need to make the time for eachother is all my husband and I make time for us as much as we can
2006-09-10 14:55:43 · answer #5 · answered by blondeqtwitanicebooty 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
3 kids, we're both 39, oldest is 8 youngest is 2. We just had great sex yesterday morning, we locked the bedroom door, put on spongebob for the kids and went at it.
It's either that or late at nite when they're in bed. Yes, we have sex once a week at least. It sucks if we don't do it for 3 weeks or so. At least once a week, then we're both feeling pretty normal.
No, when you have kids things do no slow down . . . they can, of course, due to just being worn out but there ARE ways around that!!
Good luck and hang in there . . .
2006-09-10 16:03:13 · answer #6 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Your acting normal all that romance is never not as hot or as often because you got kids to take care of and your tired. I think all married folks I know slow down it just happens. Your normal some people get out of the mood earlier than others. You have sex when you both want it, but don't force yourself on them if say no.
2006-09-10 13:10:25 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I too have 4 kids now grown and ive been divorced for a long time, but i know how u feel..I had a hard time getting in the mood with wonderments is a kid going to wake up...managed weekly, sometimes try to get up earlier and have some alone time with your partner or dump em at grandmas
2006-09-10 13:07:32 · answer #8 · answered by preciousmoments1962 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
You should have thought about all this before having 4 kids so fast. I have one child who is 10. My husband is very happy. We do it at least 3-4 times a week, and have been together 12 years.
You and your wife need to get the kids to bed and have time for yourselves. Those dishes in the sink can wait. You need some alone time.
2006-09-10 15:03:28 · answer #9 · answered by ? 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Sometimes it is all due to preoccupations with the chores around the house plus the stress of work that render us all tired at the end of the day. But it is still there, normally at dawn just immediately after waking up and before rising when a full night's rest has been had. It's a nice way to wake up those sleepy blood vessels, too.
2006-09-10 13:06:45 · answer #10 · answered by Bummerang 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋