Some questions about child abuse?

Question

If you've seen my last few questions, you know my situation, but I'll explain it again.

My girlfriend, who lives 5 hours away from me in another state, is abused by her parents....

My question is, if she could get her therapist to convince a judge that it is not right for her to continue living with them, could they put her in the custody of one of her other relatives (an aunt, uncle, etc.)? Foster care would not be good for her, she needs to be with someone she knows, just not her parents, who abuse her.

Also, what would it be like in her house before the court date, if they decided to? She wouldn't be able to stay in her home... is there a place they would be able to keep her sheltered until she would be taken in by the other party?

Thanks in advance. Preferably, I'd like answers from people with legal knowledge and/or links to references.

She's 15, and she is emotionally and physically abused by her father, and her mother doesn't care. She cuts herself to relieve the stress... and it worried me. I have to help her.

Answer 1

There are several more pieces of data that need to be considered before one can give a precise answer to this question.

First, how old is your girlfriend? Second, when you say she's "abused by her parents" - what exactly do you mean?

Then you have to consider that in order for a therapist to convince a judge of a set of facts, there has to be a court case in progress. Either the girlfriend would have to initiate the action, or she'd have to convince local authorities to open a case.

What happens in such a case will be heavily influenced by the Domestic Relations/Family law in your state. So, add another question: what state does your girlfriend live in?

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In response to the additional information: self mutilation in teenage girls is a warning sign that professionals will likely recognize quickly. She should consult authorities in her state - most likely they will appoint a guardian ad litem, an attorney who will represent her interests in any legal proceedings that result.

Answer 2

You're right - if she starts reporting people and bringing in outsiders life won't be really pleasant at home.

Its hard, because if she tries to ask her other relatives if they'd take her in they may go back to her parents; and - again - her life will be made miserable.

If her father is truly abusing her physically she should maybe contact someone in the state's children's services department or else talk, at least, to a school guidance counselor to start with. If she has a therapist who has acknowledged to her, personally, that she would be considered abused; then - yes - that therapist would not only be asked to give a report in court but would be required by law to contact children's services.

If the therapist knows that what's going on is really abuse your friend won't have a say in whether it gets reported or not. If the therapist can assure your friend that she will get to leave the home, there's the chance she could be placed with a relative; but usually kids first go to a foster home until the social workers figure out what relative would be willing to take a kid and ok enough to do that.

If your friend knows there are relatives who would take her in she may have to stay in a foster home for a short time until the social workers look into everything. I know foster homes are often very scary for a kid to think about, but there are some very kind people who are foster parents too.

If the father really is abusive (and its not that the friend just thinks he is), it is the mother's responsibility to do something about him (like leave him or kick him out). Since she has done nothing she would also be viewed as unfit by the state. Sometimes if the state comes in and tells a mother she has to get rid of a husband then she will.

There are many domestic abuse sites, and some are for the children of abusers as well as the spouses. I don't happen to have any on hand, but if you a search for something like, "domestic abuse programs in the (whatever the location is) area" or "help for abused teens" (or any phrases like that) you will probably find some sites that would give your friend some information or guidance.

Answer 3

Call the cops in her area whenever she tells you that it's happened. EVERY TIME.

First of all, that will set up a pattern of abuse for when she goes to court. Not if, but WHEN.

She can file for emancipation, which means she would "divorce" her parents.

She also needs to start calling the police herself. She can go to a Child Protective Services office, where they will remove her from the home until an investigation is completed. Foster homes are not bad places to be, because they will place her in a home where the parents are familiar with abused children.

Good luck!

Answer 4

I have been in a similar situation, and spent a lot of time dealing with the system as it is.

You are right that whatever action she takes, she needs to get out of that house as soon as possible - definitely before she tells her parents what she plans to do.

The first thing she should do is contact the Domestic Violence hotline, or the local Domestic Violence shelter. They will speak to her confidentially and have the physical and legal support there to help her.

She needs knowledgable people to take her through the legal system - it is never easy and there are lots of things that can potentially go wrong if you don't know how to deal with them. The people at the Domestic Violence shelters have legal advisors (or can refer you to one) that can help her get free legal advice, or reaching the right county office.

Whether her relatives will be allowed to keep her is something that the courts only will decide. Having good legal advice, from the Shelter, will help a lot in getting her there.

Good luck. And please do what you can to get her out of that house. Child abuse is a crime. She is in danger.

Answer 5

I am sure there are shelters in her district that will allow her
to stay in for a couple nights. And as the person above me said,
she can move in with a family member.

Also, it's also quite possible for her father to get put in jail for this.
So, I think if/when that happens, it would be the right time for her
to move back in.
Sometimes even the police will issue the father to live someplace else.

Answer 6

Well first you have to know if she is really being abused by her parents, like hard core proof..Then you have to know if she wants to live with other relatives..Im sure you can just call a child protective service..or let her run away and let the cops find out in the long run

Answer 7

She can live with another family member. How old is she by the way? And what constitutes abuse?

Edit: I see you called her your soulmate and she is 15.....LOL. You are still not being specific with the EXACT acts of abuse that are going on.