Me and my husband have been together for 6 years, 1 and 1/2 have been married. We are both in college. At first we both decided on waiting until we got out of college, but my feelings have changed. I want a child now. I want to plan the pregnancy to have it during the summer. I would be going to school, working part time with the work study program, and tending to my baby during the school year. I am 20 and he is 21. We both plan on graduating and both having jobs after college. My feeling of wanting a baby keep getting stronger. Everytime I see a baby, I want one so badly. Sometimes I just break down into tears. I don't know if I can subside these feelings for another 2 and 1/2 years. I am currently taking birth control and understand it might take some time to become pregnant. The last thing I want to do is deceive my beloved husband. I know it would only put strain on the relationship. I have talked with him numerous times, but I doesn't seem to help. He doesn't want a baby yet.
2006-09-10 11:38:29 · 24 answers · asked by Melonie 1 in Pregnancy & Parenting ➔ Pregnancy
The only thing you can do is talk to him and try to sway him to understand how much you want a child. Talk to him about your plan and how you plan to care for the child and still go to school/work and how a baby would enrich your lives. Thats pretty much all you can do, you can't force him to change his mind, but you can show him how much it means to you and how much thought you have put in to how a baby will affect your lives.
2006-09-10 11:41:05 · answer #1 · answered by Rawrrrr 6 · 0⤊ 2⤋
If he doesn't want a child yet, then you should wait. I know your "feelings" are strong and you really want a baby. But the strain that would be put on your relationship would be so great that you would most likely end up divorced down the road. You need to concentrate on getting out of school at this point, and then getting a job. When you both are ready to have a baby, then it will be the best time in the world, and that is how it should be. forcing him to have one now, cause you want one isn't right , it isn't fair to him, you or the baby. Try some patience and wait, it will work out for the best, and if you think about it realistically taking out your "feelings" you will see that.
2006-09-10 11:44:36 · answer #2 · answered by whatelks67 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋
One thing do not I repeat do not trick him into having a baby he might regret it later and so will you. Wait till the both of you can decide on when to have the baby. Have a steady job so one can take time off for the baby. College needs to come first because the expense of having a baby during school might ruin your finical plans in the future. So wait till one of you can support all of you for awhile till you can go back to work. Also have all your ducks in a row so there is no last minutes stuff that needs to be done before the baby comes. You will feel alot more comfortable this way.
2006-09-10 11:44:34 · answer #3 · answered by medevilqueen 4 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Well, respect your husband's feelings on this. It should be a mutual decision to have a baby. I know it's hard waiting, but you are still so young. I really think it would be better to wait until you are out of college and have jobs, and medical insurance from those jobs. I'm sorry I'm not telling you what you want to hear. But if you get pregnant and your husband isn't ready, then it can damage your marriage, and that wouldn't be a good environment to bring a baby into. Good Luck.
2006-09-10 11:46:59 · answer #4 · answered by nimo22 6 · 1⤊ 1⤋
Are you and your husband both financially stable to have a baby? Do you have someone to babysit when you and/or your husband are at work? Are you willing to stress over the baby, work, AND school? When the baby is crying at 4:30 in the morning, and you have work or class at 7, are you going to be regretting waiting longer?
It seems with school and work, having a baby right now might make you or your husband stress over the edge. It would seem best to wait, at least 'til you got out of school. Also, don't push your husband into this. Marraige is tough, and starting a family is even tougher. Those nights you may go out to the bar, or the movies, those may end real quick. Think about those things first.
2006-09-10 11:44:01 · answer #5 · answered by scarsoflife8282 4 · 1⤊ 2⤋
I think you should wait untill your husband is ready! Make sure your ready for the baby! Do you have enough money, a good home,enough time? Other than that I think your set to go! Just tell your husband all the good things of having a baby! You should probably wait untill your out of college,because you don't want your child thinking that he or she is not wanted or no one has time for! You should enjoy your baby not work around it! I hope it works out all right!
2006-09-10 11:45:04 · answer #6 · answered by Gracie 2 · 0⤊ 1⤋
Everyone always wants something more when they are told no. I think it would be better to wait. It would not be fair to your baby if you were working and going to school. There just wouldn't be that much time for you and your little one to spend together. Why would you want someone else raising your child ? I believe that the mother's place is home with her children. That's what I do , and it works great. My husband is the one that works.
2006-09-10 11:44:08 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 1⤋
wait!!!!!!!!
FYI! most men never want children.
Oh, they'll say not right now and give you what ever reasons they can come up with.
everything but the truth. You don't even have time for each other much less a child. and you aren't even out of college yet. No time No money and you want a baby because??????
2006-09-10 12:47:54 · answer #8 · answered by Sam 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
If you put your feelings first and cheat your husband into making you pregnant you do so at your peril. To have a child is a huge step and if you try to do it without the co-operation and agreement of your partner you will put a strain on your relationship that it may well not be strong enough to survive. If you value your partner's love please do not put it to such a violent test. If your relationship is not strong enough to take such pressure you will be left without support and a baby to tie you down for the next twenty years. Deceit is always wrong but deceit on this level is tantamount to a criminal action. If your partner is not happy with your needs and demands don't try coercion, simply move on to another partner who has similar aims to your own.
2006-09-10 12:05:03 · answer #9 · answered by U.K.Export 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋
It is your right to have a baby. You did a mistake by taking these pills. These pills can delay your pregnancy for years. You should discuss this matter together with reason. Finally,it is not difficult to have a baby and study at the same time. I did before. Good luck.
2006-09-10 11:45:13 · answer #10 · answered by evening_dewpoint 5 · 0⤊ 1⤋