I want to start a family and he doesn't. I can't subside my feelings, they get stronger.?

Question

Me and my husband have been together 6 years, 1 and 1/2 have been married. We are both in school, and I have about 2 and 1/2 years left of college. We both want to have kids, but he wants to wait till we both graduate. I understand, but I really want to start a family. I want to plan the pregnancy to where I would have it in the summer. I could then continue my school and stay home with the baby. I don't want to deceive him, but I want a child. I don't know what to do.

Answer 1

If you planned on being a stay-at-home Mother and are Christian, then I would tell you that birth control is not a good idea.

The longer you are on birth control, the longer it will take for you to be able to conceive once you make that decision.

Also, theologically speaking, God is the creator, not us. He grants us the blessings, who are we to put our hand up and tell Him, "No thanks"?

But ... if you plan on continuing to work, then I would tell you that basically it is a bad idea to have a baby.

Answer 2

From experience I can tell you right now it really is better to wait until you graduate. Once you have a baby, it's about their life, not yours. Babies need constant care physically, emotionally, and mentally. There are many factors to consider like health and medical care, clothing, food, shelter, and babies are only babies for a little while, then they become children who need schooling, and extracirricular activites. Preparedness always pays off. Schedules can be arranged, sometimes, but not always. I know it's hard to be patient, believe me, but in the end it will be worth it if you have a stable home to bring your baby into. You may decide you don't even want to go back to school once the baby comes, and that might be something you regret someday. This certainly doesn't mean you have to forget a family. There is nothing wrong with keeping the idea alive, but pressure causes resentment, and deception will undo everything. Good luck!

Answer 3

I know and understand you don't want to deceive him as once you have told a lie you have to live a lie or tell the lie and take the risk that you may made him feel that you lied and trapped him once will she do that again. No not good what so ever. If you can not get him to come around then so be it. It turns out that some time there is give sometimes there is take. This sounds like to me that its his turn this time to get his way. Next time it may well be yours. If you feel this Strong now then you will feel this stung later. Try a compromise. this is what my hubby and I did it turned out that I got pregnant on the pill just the same but we were both happy with the agreement but both must stick to the agreement.

don't start a lie as you will live the lie for the rest of your life

Answer 4

don't do this behind his back. you are giving him reason to leave you. I think you SHOULD wait until ya'll graduate and have good financial flow coming in. 2 years is not that long, believe me.

How old are you? if you're still young (early/ mid twenties) you have plenty of time.

I am 30 and barely having my first child. I just graduated about 4 months ago, and we (me and my husband) are not all that financially stable, but we know we can get through it and we have our family's support. this first pregnancy will be more difficult than any others that we hope to have, but we love each other and are both prepared for the future.

good luck with your decision, and God bless

Answer 5

Hi. Look, I am no counselor or anything, but I think the only thing you can do is keep talking. If you deceive him you will start this baby off under a cloud. See what I mean? I know it is hard to wait, but find some way to get him to come around. Use your feminine charm. There are moments when a man is much more recptive, if you know what I mean. :)

Answer 6

The worst thing in the world for you to do is plan to have this baby against his wishes. You will push him away and end up without a husband to help you raise the baby. You're in college, enjoy it while you can. Be young! Wait until you have both graduated and can get decent jobs so you can raise the baby without scrimping and doing without. Don't be in such a rush to be grown up!

Answer 7

Be honest with him. Not wanting children until your done with school is not a bad idea. You didn't say how old you were. I know, I had one child before I was done with school and it was hard to study, take care of the child, quality time, clean and maintain a house. I had two children after I was done with school and worked part-time. Much easier. Had time for the kids and had money. I could spend more quality time with them too. It was a big difference. Good luck!

Answer 8

I think that you would be better off waiting until you graduated. A baby takes up all of your time. If you were in school and had a baby, you would be exhausted all of the time. New mothers never get enough sleep.

Answer 9

oh yea, mommyhood is great! someone who is totally dependent on you 24/7. have you ever been so consumed with thoughts about something that you thought you would be driven mad? well that is what you will feel once you have a baby. you will be consumed with thoughts 24/7, that doesn't leave alot of time of school work, let alone husband time and then there's always just time for yourself. so reconsider, listen to what your husband is saying. he's using real common sense, which is rare for a guy! lol good luck with school, your marriage and your future hugs

Answer 10

Wait until you graduate. Having a baby AND school would be wayyyy too much on your plate. It is best, in a marriage, to wait until you BOTH want a baby.

Answer 11

tell him that its important to you. I understand him wanting to wait because that is the logical thing to do, but The best time to have a baby is when you want one soooo bad. You need to ask him if you planned it for the summer what he would think. Then go from there.