How can I go on?

Question

I am having so many thoughts right now. I want to make my marriage work. I want everything to be as it once was. But, my husband is always late coming home. He has been with other women behind my back before. Is that what he is doing again? I dont wan to think that he is, but what else am I to think?

Answer 1

Angel, slow down. I know you are hurting, and I know badly it hurts. Do you know for a fact that he has cheated on you? I mean do you KNOW. If you know then ask him, if you honestly want to hear the answer. You either want to know or you don't.
He may have a good excuse for coming home late. Has he said why, has he given you any reason for this.

I know what it is to wonder and worry. I also know how you are feeling, like your heart is being ripped to peices. Can you live like this? Can honestly handle this everytime he's late? If you can't then maybe it's time, to have a frank talk with him. Ask him to call you if he's going to be late. If you have forgiven him for cheating on you, then I am praying that he will understand you are having some trust issues.

Marriage counseling is good for trust issues. He has got to realize he broke that, and you just can't trust he like before. He's got to earn that trust again. It could be a long while before you don't feel like your world is coming apart at the seams everytime he leaves the house. Little things can help build trust back, if he has he's going to do something-then he needs to do it. If you call him-he needs to answer the phone. If he has he's going somewhere-then he needs to be there, not somewhere else. He's got walk straight and talk straight before the healing can begin.

Angel, I know it's not easy, to forgive and forget. But if you are going to make this marriage work, you have just got too. You can think of what ifs. You will drive youself mad. Give him a little rope, and watch. If he proves that he loves you enough and respect you enough, then give him a little more. Move slow, and please please don't let this ruin your health...mentally and physically...No man, no marriage...is worth your mental health or physical health....You are worth more! You deserve more than have your heart stomped on. You deserve someone to love you and cherish you...I promise you do!

God bless us all..............

Answer 2

When your husband had cheated you once in your marriage, it will be always there. If he lost his trust in you, he will never have it back no matter what.

My belief is that if you have to deal with your husband all the time with your suspicion and try to make a relationship work then it is usually not worth working for. Because it will always be a sad background in your marriage. That was my experience in mine, which destroyed our marriage that through more than 20 years.

You should make a decision either live with it or try to move on your own life.

Answer 3

You would be much better off to get out now rather than sit around and waste more time.Really it sounds like you don't have much of a marriage if he plays.There are other men in the world that can and will treat you right.I left my children's father after six years and it was one of the best things I ever did for myself.I'm so much happier now and the guy I have been with for a year now is perfect.I would have never met my man if I would have stayed in that horrible relationship.Just because your married don't mean you have to stay with him.Remember you'll never find Mr.right when your married to Mr. wrong.

Answer 4

if he did it before, he'll do it again. Just watch Dr. Phil - that's what he always says. He knows you'll stay with him - because he got away with it before. If u don't stand your ground , then he wont change. Your gut instinct is usually right. It sounds like you should leave him - I mean u don't even trust him. That's not a good relationship. You must have low self-esteem. You have to think that you are better than that. You deserve better. Good Luck - although it's never easy - you could seek councelling.

Answer 5

I am very sorry that you are going through this ****! I don't know you but I think its fair to say that you are better than this and you don't deserve this kind of treatment!
Most men or women that have affairs once will do it again. No, not all will but the ones that don't don't stay out late @ night. They prove to their spouse that this wouldn't happen again by staying @ home and they don't go out unless they are together.
So I think it's fair to say that he is screwing around or @ least trying to! You should confront him then you need to leave. I know this sounds cliche but there are BETTER fish in the sea and one is waiting out there for you I PROMISE!
I hope things work out for you just remember to stay strong and don't give up on yourself b/c your worth it!!!

Answer 6

I think before you make any radical decision you need to talk to him about that situation,I know they say once a cheater always a cheater but you can never go wrong by asking hopefully he'll tell you the truth and start rebuilding the trust in your relationship again

Answer 7

if he cheated on u before he probably is. ask him straight out. also if he don't want to make love, or he takes lots of showers, nerves all the time, watches the clock, pushes u away, picks fights, these are some of the things to watch for. good luck. i hope is works out for u. but i would leave and take the kids with u. if you have some.

Answer 8

Honestly I think you should sit and have a long talk with your husband. Tell him how you feel and see what he says. Ask him if he will go to counceling with you. If he refuses that means he isnt worth it. Why live a life like that if he isnt willing to make it work. Good luck! :)

Answer 9

If you want to stop his behavior just stop being home when he gets there. Act like it doesn't matter when he gets home as he does. See if he might change his ways then. Go visit a friend or your folks about the time you think he will be home.

Answer 10

hey angel
my wife did the same thing to me come to find out she had a other boy friend know we just filed for divorce she walk out on me and our 2 kids 4 years a go you dont need to suffer like i did. move out file for divorce on the ground of adultery you well be a lot happier when you do this.but before you do move out make sure he is seeing some one else hire some one to watch him for a week or check his cell phone for in and out going call check to see if the same number keep coming up on out call and in call durning his work hourer.but if i were you i would hire some one to watch him for a couple of days good luck