Married for 26 years and still in love, but feel I want time to myself and at times I don't want to be around him. I feel like running away. Is this normal
2006-09-10 10:22:47 · 21 answers · asked by marydee92 2 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
Yes, it's common. Even couples who love each other deeply and have spent a lifetime together sometimes still get antsy from time to time -- like they are suffocating, or are no longer sure who they are, or just want to be alone for a while.
The best couples recognize it for what it is, rather than assuming it means the relationship is "no good" anymore, and talk to each other about it and figure out how to help each other deal with it.
Maybe your husband can give you time to "go away" and just get a breather. Maybe you can develop some separate hobbies or activities, then share what you're learning with each other. In any case, communication and commitment to each other are the most important things.
You do need to evaluate why you feel that way, if the feeling is getting stronger and more common all the time -- something might need to be changed -- but just take it for what it is and don't read too much into it until after you think through it a lot and discuss it at length with your husband.
(Congrats on your long marriage and still feeling in love with your husband, that's great.)
2006-09-10 10:30:54 · answer #1 · answered by Jennywocky 6 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Can I come too? I spilt the gas with ya. I am normal person most of time, and I have been married 26 years too! Please, my Tahoe is in the shop. When are you going? Just me a second to grab my purse and my sunglasses.
Serious, it's normal. Your spouse can start rubbing you the wrong way, the things you use to think was cute will make you want to scream. His bad habits aren't bad anymore, you just don't care. Honey, you are in a rut, and need a break. How big of a rut is the problem. Can you outlive this "can't stand the man" is the question?
Why not have a girl's night out? Our's is tomorrow night. We have a couple bottle of wines, we pig out and men bash all night. Grab a girlfriend and get out of the house, before you hurt him. Go shopping, no money, go window shopping..anything to just put a little distance between the two of you. Sweetie, join a club, a health club, or learn to line dance, like I did.
Running away sounds like a good idea, but the crap of it is, the problems will be still here when you get home. You need to do some thinking, and you need a few hours to yourself. So, hey if you ready to ride...give me a call......I need a break myself!
God bless us all..............
2006-09-10 11:07:00 · answer #2 · answered by totallylost 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
So run. You've got the kids raised probably. So run. But, since you are still in love. Run with your spouse. Sell the house, buy a sailboat, and take off around the world. Or, build a remote cabin in Alaska, and tramp the wilderness together. Hike the Appalachian Trail. Ride bikes all the way around the US. Maine to Florida to California to Maine. Canoe the Mississippi. Climb some mountains. You two have lasted 26 years. NOW, do any damned thing you want. ENJOY.
2006-09-10 11:04:12 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I married my high school sweet heart and boy as much as I loved her I couldn't make it work because we met as kids but as we grew into adults we became 2 different people there was no avoiding it she was the love of my life and I not only lost her but I lost my childhood best friend it was terrible. I wished I would have listened to my parents because when we split up I died inside and here it is 22 years later and theres not a week that goes by that I don't wish I could just talk to her. If I were you just wait untill your older not because your parents say so but because life changes people and if you found your self married to a person you no longer know and pregnant with his child that's a bad time to realize you made a mistake or to change your mind, but if you do get married I wish you both Peace and Love
2016-03-27 05:49:13 · answer #4 · answered by Martha 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
From my experience, you might be sick of him right now, but just tell him you need a "me" vacation and get a little space. My wife left about a year ago after getting sick of marriage, her reasons sound alot like yours. Now she wants to come back, but there are a lot of complications that make me think it's better to just go our separate ways. If you love your husband, just let him know you need a little time to do things that interest you, if he's a good man (you've been married 26 years, he can't be that bad!) he'll understand eventually, and maybe your marriage will get a new spark. I think the best marriages are the ones where both people keep growing, sounds like things have just got a bit stagnant.
2006-09-10 15:05:37 · answer #5 · answered by Wally Five-O 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Try taking a vacation by yourself for a week or two. Don't run away. That is not the right way to do things. Save some money. Pack a little bag and go to Asia or Europe for some time on your own and site see.
2006-09-10 11:26:24 · answer #6 · answered by michiganwife 4 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It happened to me . I think it is the need for something different, don't run away get yourself involved in something without him, something for yourself. 26 years is alot invested, in a few more your going to be glad you have someone that knows you and cares for you. You may never find love again and that is a scary place 2 be!
2006-09-10 10:27:03 · answer #7 · answered by schlongy1969 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I think you need to talk to him about yr feelings,it's OK to need and want time for yourself but not to run away ,you're still in love with him and I'm sure he loves you too , you can save yr relationship if you want to or maybe you both can talk to a counselor.Good luck
2006-09-10 10:33:02 · answer #8 · answered by jolie minouche 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It can be. Tell your hubby you need a week away and that you are going on vacation alone. Make plans and go, take a break, and most likely your problems will be solved. If money is tight go to a relative's house or do something that he would never do with you.
2006-09-10 10:27:15 · answer #9 · answered by emp04 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Do you want to run away because of the '2 man thing' you spoke of in one of your previous questions? You would probably just go & find 2 more!
2006-09-10 10:38:27 · answer #10 · answered by Putt 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋