I was watching trailers about a show due to air on BBC America titled "My Husband Is Gay". One woman says " I guess everyone could tell except for me.". This set me to thinking...if I were about to marry someone who is flaming, my gay friends would tell me. Or would they? Please tell me whether you would tell her or would you feel that it's best to stay out of it?
2006-09-10 10:14:30 · 14 answers · asked by Anonymous in Society & Culture ➔ Cultures & Groups ➔ Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual, and Transgender
yes, I would, but if she is madly in love she will not listen to anybody.
I had this experience 20 yrs. ago. A mutual friend and I spoke to to our friend about her gay fiance but she wouldn't listen to me and even thought that i was telling her he was gay because:
1: I envied her
2: I was in love with him
3: i was jealous
We knew he was gay because he was always talking about his "conquests". It was plain as daylight. he wouldn't hide his gayness, but he wanted to marry and have a family.
Her parents told her, her gay friends told her and she still married him. 18 yrs later, he left her for another man and she is a bitter divorcee with two unhappy children.
Gay men should't marry a women thinking it is a "cure" for their gayness.
2006-09-10 10:26:25 · answer #1 · answered by Dulcinea 5 · 3⤊ 0⤋
My sister is dating a guy who's had gay experiences and who looks very gay to me. She knows about the gay experiences he's had and I told her that I think he's more into guys than into women but she just doesn't believe it. If someone else I know would have a lover of whom I thought he was gay, I would still mention that to her. Even if the friend in question wouldn't believe me. It's up to my friend to decide whether she does anything with my point of view.
2006-09-10 11:48:22 · answer #2 · answered by chocolatebunny 5 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Timing is everything in a situation like this. It makes me think of Miss Manners who said "tell someone of a problem if they can fix it immediately. if they would have to live with this problem for some time before they can fix it, do not."
What I am trying to say is it is a lot easier to tell your friend when she starts dating this guy, rather then once she has the deposit down on the wedding hall, honeymoon and dress - you know what I mean?
Peace!
2006-09-10 10:18:33 · answer #3 · answered by carole 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I would not say anything. What if I were wrong!? Live and let learn. If you did say something and they wound up not marrying, she would always wonder WHAT IF? Especially if he stayed in the closet forever and married another women. There would go the friendship out the window, and for what? Sharing my suspicion?! I would only say something if I knew FOR SURE!
2006-09-10 10:22:22 · answer #4 · answered by Wendy 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
When a friend of mine got married a few years ago, I was shocked (as her fiance had set off my gaydar from the first time I met him)... two years later, she found gay porn on their computer, confronted him about it, he admitted he thought he was bi.. but found that he was no longer sexually attracted to women... and they got divorced... I wouldn't have changed anything though.. because it wasn't my place to say anything to her and I didn't know him well enough to ask him...
2006-09-10 10:26:53 · answer #5 · answered by Paige 5 · 1⤊ 0⤋
Yes, it may end up causing more harm than good: it will allow the friend and future spouse to have an open, up front, utterly honest conversation on the issue instead of having it linger in the back of their minds.
2006-09-10 10:18:04 · answer #6 · answered by BUDDY LUV 3 · 0⤊ 1⤋
I would joke about it. If you don't know your friends thought's(ask that person), how are you supposed to give advice? Don't be over protective though. Just make a joke and they might tell you what their thought's are! I would look out for my friends.
2006-09-10 10:24:26 · answer #7 · answered by justincausejustintime 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Well, I would mention it, but if she seems not interested, I would back off. Your friend might think you are jealous that YOU are not getting married, or she might think you don't like her future husband.
2006-09-10 10:19:42 · answer #8 · answered by coconutnoodle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
Stay out of it...You'll cause a serious rift with both you and your friend and you and your friends husband and your friend and her husband...it's none of your business...keep quiet.
And your friend will never believe you anyway.
2006-09-10 10:44:42 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'd stay out of it, I know men who are very sensitive & heterosexual...besides you can't possibly know for sure.
2006-09-10 10:17:14 · answer #10 · answered by Ivyvine 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋