Is it wrong to want to commute to college?

Question

Hey guys, I've asked a few questions here regarding college, but I'm at it again. I really think I will be happier living at home with my family, whom I am very close with. I am in no rush to grow up fast, and I feel I am already a very mature person. I have and still am suffering from depression from time to time, but the pain has led to much self discovery and understanding. I feel I am a wise person, and added with my intelligence, I feel I have the maturity I need. I don't know what I want to be or what specific college I want to go to, but I think I do want to commute. I don't want to be around parties, drugs, sex, alcohol, and I need a lot of privacy. I am there to learn and succeed, I am very indipendent, and don't need much guidance from others.

It's just that I feel like a freak for not wanting to dorm as eevryone esle does. I hope to stay in touch with my old high school best friends, but I don't know how many friends I can make as a commuter. That is really my only issue

I would also mabye like to hear about other's experiences as a commuting student. My high school friends and sevral activities I'm involved in will help me stay in touch with a good deal of friends. I also plan to make college friedns through commuter services and a few clubs that may or may not be offered. A guitar club and an art club, I would join. I wouldn't be hanging out with too many peopel outside of college I guess, but when my high school buddies come back form college, we can hang out then. I'm pretty sure we will still be close. I know many people who are still best friends with their high school friends after years of college. I've known most of my good friends since middle school, and a coupe since elementary. I think we will stay together. I have always defied the "normal" wants and needs as a teen, mostly because I think I grew up a long time ago. I am happy the way I am. I may feel like I am missing out on dorm life, but I think my desision has been made.

Answer 1

I go to school in a different city than my parents live in, so community really wasn't an option, but there's something to be said for it if there's a school nearby that you like. I have a friend who commuted last year, and is living on campus this year. As far as I know, she didn't have any trouble making friends or anything last year.

If there's a school near enough home that's a good match for you, I'd say you might as well commute, at least for your first year, and see how it goes after that - you can always move on campus later if you want to (and being near home you can still go home whenever you want). And as an upper classman, you'd probably be able to get a single room if you want to live on campus.

I'm all for staying away from parties and having privacy. I was lucky enough to get a single room my freshman year, but I had a roommate over the summer, and it sure sucks being locked out of your room (with your computer inside) the day before you have a big project due because your roommate's boyfriend is in town. Or not being able to talk on the phone because your roommate is sleeping (or just having that awkward feeling that your roommate who you just met two days ago can hear everything you're telling your parents about your first day of work). And even when you have a private room, it's kind of awkward when the person down the hall has really loud sex every couple days, and you have to see them every day in class or whatever and pretend like you didn't hear them having sex the night before.

The one thing I will say, though, is that you've got to be able to move out when you finish school. You don't want to end up still living with your parents when you're 35. If you do commute, you might want to consider at some point doing a summer internship or something in another city (some programs will provide housing, which would help) for a few weeks, so you'll have a little experience living on your own before you finish school. Or live on campus your second or third year (keep in mind you could go home as often as you wanted), or something like that. As a college student, there are usually people who will help you out with things like when you realize you don't actually know how to unclog a toilet or change the lightbulb in that ceiling lab with the weird-looking screws, whereas if your first time living on your own is when you get a job and move into an apartment somewhere, then you're kind of on your own. And calling your parents to find out if canned salmon needs to be cooked or how to get a tomato sauce stain out of a white shirt is will go over a bit better when you're 19 than when you're 23. So if you do commute, just keep in mind that you might have to actively think about making sure you'll be ready to live on your own when you finish college.

Answer 2

Commuting To College

Answer 3

I commute to college. I go to Temple University in Philadelphia and I live about 40 min. away. I too still live at home and its a great arrangement, cheap and I get along great w/ my family and so commuting was always my 1st option. While you are right that commuting may prevent you from making friends ( I assume by going to mixers on campus or just living in the dorms and making friends or anything like that) I found that I've not had a problem socializing being a commuter. In fact, I've made friends w/ people who live in my area who also commute to school and we ride the train together now, and we've even scheduled some classes together so that we could spend more time together-we would walk from our last class together to the train station and then ride home 2gether. You can make friends anywhere, dont let that deter you from commuting. Actually, Temple U actually has more people who commute than who live on campus, most colleges are not that way.

Answer 4

There's nothing wrong with commuting and if that's your choice then you're a better person than most for sticking to it. Don't let the crowd pressure you into things you don't want to do. It's your life, so enjoy it the way you feel most comfortable.

I commute to uni, it's 100kms from my home and it can be a pain at times, but it also allows me the freedom to choose how I spend my time (even the travel time I listen to the radio and enjoy the time relaxing and not worrying about my studies).

I have also lived on campus and that can be a good experience if you want to be part of that way of life. Sure there are many chances of social interaction, but you say you're going to join the clubs anyway, so you're not going to miss out on very much.

If parties and the whole "college" scene isn't your thing, then stick to your guns and commute.

Enjoy,
Pugs

Answer 5

I commuted for awhile and I liked that fact that I was living with my family. This year I live on campus and I love it. It is nice to be able to have some freedom. I didnt think I would like to live in a dorm because I dont party, or do drugs or drink. There are a lot of people who live in dorms that dont. I think it is a great way to meet people. I found that when I commuted I did not know many people and I didnt join clubs because I would have to drive back to campus. Living on campus made it easier to make friends and to join clubs.
I would say that if you are not ready now to live on campus dont but I would try it at least for a semester. It is a once in a lifetime experience and you may find that you love it and that you have made some really good friends.

Answer 6

As a commuter for 2 years-its better. Dorms are overated really. And there is nothing better then at the end of the day coming home to where you feel comfortable whether its to your pets or your family it's all good-because they know you. And if your having doubts then it's a sign that your not ready yet to move out maybe. Driving might be stressful a little but its a good way of privacy-it's just between you and the road...

Answer 7

RE:
Is it wrong to want to commute to college?
Hey guys, I've asked a few questions here regarding college, but I'm at it again. I really think I will be happier living at home with my family, whom I am very close with. I am in no rush to grow up fast, and I feel I am already a very mature person. I have and still am suffering from...

Answer 8

I commuted from home while in college. A person can have an active social life on campus and participate in school activities such as clubs or sports. Colleges have a lot of activities to chose from such as a movie club and even clubs related to the majors. Besides, it saves the cost of the dormitory fees in a case of student loans.

Answer 9

There is nothing wrong with commuting to College!

Consider yourself BLESSED that your parents are ALIVE and willing to let you live at home and go to school at the same time. THAT is important -- and count this as a positive for your college experience.

I, too, did NOT want to be around partying, drugs, alcohol, etc -- and DID like my privacy. I, Unfortunately, was on my own, paying my own way, living in my own place, and paying my own bills through my work AND commuting to College at the same time.

YES, I was SUCCESSFUL This way, and I can say that I was more comfortable with the way I was providing for myself rather than living with IMMATURE goofballs in the dorms who NEVER finished college, attended a class, and dropped out and DID NOT complete their Studies.

Yes, you can have friends -- just different friends -- ones who also commute, ones who are serious about their educations, and ones who are not partiers.

Answer 10

First of all, I'm a commuter. Like you, when I was a senior in high school, I had to choose either to stay or leave. I'm not saying that I chose to commute, I do only because only my college offers the major that I want and it's located around me.

I don't agree w/ everything that you said. For instance, nobody should stop growing. Although you may be very mature, you will never learn enough. I mean, what is enough? I can tell you 100%, if you decide to dorm, you will change your mind or will never think the same way as you do now.

Unlike you, I never really had closed friends in high school because I went to school for my own knowledge, not friends. It doesn't mean I isolated myself because I took them as my classmates. I talked to people all the time, it's just that I would not hang out w/ them outside of school. I kept myself very concentrated in my studies and remained an excellent GPA to graduate as an honor student.

I spoke to many elders and professors to gather references about if I should commute or dorm. I applied for both types of colleges and got accepted. Now, I really had to choose one of them.

I listed all the advantages and disadvantages. I think it really depends on what kind of person you are. For instance, I am a city person. I know I can never leave the very urban area to go to a rural place. I knew what major I would like to do and which college offers the best programs (money wise and quality wise). In terms of school, I am very independent. In terms of family, I am not. My mom does everything at home. Yes, it would be a good idea for me to dorm in order to be so called independent. But I know deeply inside that my studies are more important. If the school is good and it's far away, I will consider it. If it's good and it's around me, I will still consider it.

Alright, now it comes to the realistic part. Does commute give you a better opportunity or the other way around? I don't know if you live in the city or outskirt. But I live in NYC. I know that, if I want to work in the city, to be considered for more opportunies in the future after I graduate, I have to stay in the city. This way, I will meet more new people, build my connections and those connections are what's gonna make me successful one day.

It's sad but its true that it's not what you know, it's who you know. When you go to college, you will understand. I just finished my first year. Guess how many people I have met so far? Those people have influences that I will need one day. These people don't have to be within your field, they can be in any field.

In terms of friends, I think you should not only have your old friends, but you need to make new ones, especially outside of school. You will be surprised why I say this. You leave them for college doesn't mean that you don't care about them anymore. With today's advanced technology, relationships like friendships can still be remained after you apart. They will understand that you need to see the bigger pictures of life. You cannot stay in the same community until the day you die. Then you will really miss a lot of experiences that you should have. I still keep very close in touch many of my elementary friends. They are all over the world. Some in Australia, Germany, Japan, Ireland, Hong Kong, England, Switzerland...and they are doing very very well in their lives and I am very happy for them because they are pursuing their dreams. In fact, the more friends I have, the more countries I may travel in the future.

You really have to think abt this for yourself, not for anybody else, not even your friends. Do what's the best for yourself because you are the one who is going to experience it.