Pressure on pregnant women?

Question

I am 27 weeks pregnant and I honestly feel that there is a lot of pressure on pregnant women to "keep going" and it can be really hard.

I know people who had no sickness, no problems felt great through their pregnancies and worked right up till their due dates. I know others who felt awful but still managed to forcibly keep going. God for them I say.

But I have felt rotten in my pregnancy. Terrible sickness and I just COULDN'T keep going! Everytime I was sick I was liable to faiting, shaking etc and there was no way I could manage the daily commute in that state! I felt so tired a lot of the time and right now I have a bladder infection which is making me feel like hell warmed up.

So I'm languishing at home, getting plenty of sleep etc, whilst other pregnant women I know are cheerfully pulling their 40-hours per week, shopping, going out, doing all their hobbies and keeping really busy, and looking down their noses at me for taking it easy. Surely we're all different!!!

LOL I'm having a boy and I still feel rough! I thought boys were "easier" than girls!!!!

Tara_Fabulous - thats terrible. I don't know what country you live in but in the UK you CANNOT be fired for taking time off sick for any pregnancy related illness, even morning sickness - any company who did fire someone for these reasons would be facing an employment tribunal. But most of the women I know seem to think its terribly wrong to take time off for morning sickness or other pregnancy complaints - even though they wouldn't hesitate to stay off with food poisoning - and m/s is worse than food poisoning!!!!

Thanks everyone, its so good to know I'm not alone in "not being able to keep up" - I'm sick of hearing women going on about working up till their due dates and doing all this stuff when just goping shopping for food is an ordeal for me at the moment!

Answer 1

Do whatever is comfortable for YOU. Don't pay attention to what others say. Only you know what is best for you and your baby. One of my pregnancies was so miserable that I was forced to stay home and relax just to get through it. My others were fine and I was able to get on with my life as usual, just with a bigger belly. :) Like I said, do what is best for you. Good luck and take care of yourself and that precious baby.

Answer 2

No matter how big the pressure is, a pregnant mother needs to rest more than non-pregnant ones, and I think you shouldn't pretend you are healthy if you have problems. It's your responsibility now to decide what is good for you and for the baby - no one will decide instead of you, and no one feels this responsibility but you. This is the real burden, but if you settle this problem inside it will be easier.
Here is a quotation I found useful when trying to cope with parental responsibility (not completely finished yet with the task):
"It was, he thought, the difference between being dragged into the arena to face a battle to the death and walking into the arena with your head held high. Some people, perhaps, would say that there was little to choose between the two ways, but Dumbledore knew - and so do I, thought Harry, with a rush of fierce pride, and so did my parents - that there was all the difference in the world"
Don't know now if the point is clear why I put this here, but I still hope it's relevant. I wish you the best with your baby and with your family. Don't care much about what others seem to be. Just dare being yourself.

Answer 3

I know just what you mean. I am currently 30 weeks pregnant, but I had to quit my job when I was 20 weeks along. I could NOT keep on. Everyone at work, after they found out that I was leaving, kept bothering me about it, and my husband too. They kept asking why I was quitting so soon? Why didn't I stay until I had the baby. All kinds of questions. They always joked about "So.. you just wanna quit so you can lay around and get fat all day huh?" But that was not it at all. I could NOT physically work anymore. I was a supervisor at KMart... I had to stand for 8 hours a day, sometimes straight through... sometimes I only got 15 minute breaks... which I was lucky if I did get a break at all. Every day, within 30 minutes after my shift started, I would get terrible shakes, my hearing would go completely out like I had cotton in my ears, my vision would go almost completely black (it was like looking through black sunglasses), my heart would start racing, and I would find it really hard to breathe. It was terrible. I HAD to stop working.... and I don't miss it one bit. Thank goodness my husband makes a good amount of money.
A lot of the women at work who have already had babies just didn't understand. Yeah, I know they think they have "been there done that". Well... they haven't exactly experienced the same thing I went through then if they feel I should just keep going.
I say do what you need to do. Screw everybody else who thinks different!

Oh and to what you said about shopping for food just being an ordeal for you.... dont even get me started there... lol. I stop like every five minutes and sit on the floor right in the middle of the store because I can't keep going. LOL!

Answer 4

I'm in week 16 and have felt HORRIBLE since before we found out we were expecting. Every woman is different. As for you and I, we just happen to be those women that can't keep up. There is nothing wrong with that!! I have been on bed rest since about 11 weeks, am starting to get a little bored, but when I get up to try to accomplish something I feel awful. So I sit, do a whole lot of nothing, think about our health and wait! That's all I can do. I don't feel bad that I can't do much. I just think that eventually I will feel great and I will have a beautiful baby to show for it.
Don't worry about those women who can still do it all, they aren't you. Let them go and wear themselves out while you get all the rest you need to become a new mom!! lol!! Good luck with the rest of your pregnancy!! :)

Answer 5

I know exactly how you feel what you are feeling. I am 27 weeks as well. i do not work and i relax alot. I also had bad morning sickness. Just take it easy, get as much rest as you can get now and dont worry about other pregnant women. Every pregnancy is different and i def feel your pain. Relax now because in a couple of months you will not beable to relax as much. And if you just have one of those days where you are just feeling great, go out and do something. Take those days to do something fun. It will be over soon and the end results are wonderful.
Good Luck and best wishes.

If you need someone to talk to you can Email me at [e-mail]. Im more than happy to talk to someone about the pregnancy. =]

Answer 6

I've had a fairly high risk pregnancy so far and had terrible morning sickness in the first trimester. I'm anemic and even the iron pills don't make me feel up to speed. I also have high blood pressure and my swelling is sometimes painful.

To me, i think every pregnant woman should be pampered. It's hard to keep doing things daily when you just don't feel like you have the strength to do things you even WANT to do.

You have the most perfect excuse right now to take it easy. Don't feel guilty in taking a nap or sleeping in! Your body knows what it needs and EVERY woman's pregnancy is different. Some women just don't know what a rotten pregnancy feels like. To them, i say have compassion for those who do!

Answer 7

Every pregnancy is different and just feel lucky that you have been able to conceive and have this wonderful baby. It'll be just a mere memory in the long run. Right now, you have to do what's best for you and for the baby so if you need time to rest, then do it. Try not to worry what every other pregnant woman is doing. Just cope with yourself and your feelings and have that wonderful baby! Congratulations and good luck! Don't try to push yourself because of pressure from other people--just do what's right for the baby. You know your body better than anyone and maybe it'll get better as you get farther along, possibly into the third trimester. Take care!

Answer 8

Poor you , i know how you feel ! I was sick with all my pregnancies til the day they were born (4 girls) , its extremely hard to keep upbeat isn`t it . It didn`t help everyone saying , not long now , I was so fed up being sick all day everyday , the doctor wouldn`t give me medication til i got to 36wks ,I would love to try for a boy but the thought of going through that again scares me so i will give it up as a bad joke lol . I can smile about it now but i had depression at the end of my last 3 pregnancies , no wonder !

Answer 9

I stopped working when I was 4 months along. I work for a school district as an aid...the little boy that I had to assist was autistic and was very rough..I didn't feel like that was a good position for me to be in being pregnant. He tried stabbing me with a pencil once and he was just very aggressive. You can stop working when you feel like it. If you feel like it is a hazard to you and your baby I wouldn't do it either. The people that look down on it most are those that don't know what you're going through. Ignore them all...you don't need the negativity!!

Answer 10

To all the pregnant ones out there. Girls I feel really sorry you are feeling this way. i know you are really trying to do all you can but your body just says no. Do not worry take it easy and no matter what anyone says or feels just ignore them as you are the only one who knows exactly how you feel. Eat well and I mean really well. eat for two if you can. Don't worry about how you'll loose the weight afterwards. I've had 3 babies and I've worked 40hrs a week for a whole 40 weeks. My idea is the longer I leave it before going on maternity the longer I'll have with my baby before going back. Just encourage yourselves to carry on. And yes totally agree, we are all different and if you happen to have a woman boss who've never had a baby do not expect them to understand. They are the worst bitches, and yes out of experience.

Answer 11

You are sooo right. There is loads of pressure these days. But you absolutely have to do what feels right for you. It was only a few years back that women had weeks of staying in bed after they'd had their babies. These days it's straight back home to the usual routine. I had c-sections with both of my children and was out of hospital the following day! Didn't even get the luxury of a cup of tea.

If you feel you need to slow down, then for God's sake do it! It'll be tough enough once baby arrives - you might as well put your feet up now - and very best wishes for you and your little one x