Are underage pregnancys completely and utterly wrong?

Question

My friends daughter is fifteen and recently became pregnant. The father has been told and is happy to be there as much as possible.

I understand it is illegal, and will probably cause alot of problems for my friend and daughter, but a degree of understanding, love and help is obviously needed to the teen. She is not sure about abortion or not.
i have mixed emotions about the situation.

So my question is, what would you do in that situation?(mother or daughter?)

Answer 1

wrong to contemplate or choose it or to be raped. But after the baby is born it is all down to how it is handled by the teenager and her parents.
Parents Must support their teenage daughters if they have a baby. treating them badly will only hurt the baby in the long run!
And there is no point trying to teach the teenager the error of their ways... it's TOO LATE.

Answer 2

I got pregnant when I was 17 and had my daughter when I was 18. i was still at school and living at home with my Mum. Telling her was the scariest thing I had ever done up to that point in my life and you're right understanding, love and help is the best way to address the situation. My mum wanted me to have an abortion as she didn't want me to have to struggle with being a single parent, but ultimately she knew that the decision was mine. Unfortunately we had a falling out and I moved away, but I really wish that i hadn't. You rfriend needs to keep in mind that her daughter is probably more terrified than her and needs her Mum to show her how to cope with everything, regardless of what she decides to do.

One other thing I think is really important, that i don't think enough young grandparents do, is not to get too involved. When you have a baby as a teenager you have to learn to basically fight all your selfish immature instincts, but if you have your parents around saying that you are doing it wrong or just simply taking over, those instincts will stay and they will end up become the Mummy figure. If this girl does decide to have her baby, she needs to be allowed to make her own mistakes and learn from them because I think that is how you learn to become a good parent.

Answer 3

If both parents are happy then it isnt qrong, just because she is 15 doesnt mean she wont be a good mom.

If she went for the abortion route that would haunt her for years to come, in a continous series of "what if's??".
Again if the body is capable of making a baby at such a young age then why shouldnt it go ahead, it's just today's soceity that puts shame on young mothers and disagrees. In olden days there were people younger than that as parents yet they never went to school only the richer families did. So today it seems worse if they are still at school.

Whats needed definaltely is support for her and her mother in whichever decision your friends daughter chooses to take, right now she needs different opinions from everyone so she has a clear understanding of the consequences of each path.

Answer 4

The important thing is that the father has been told and is happy to be there as much as possible. They can raise the baby together. They are very young ang made a mistake but it will not be corrected by making another mistake of abortion. The grandparents have the right to get mad but they are still legally their dependents until age 18. They are partly to be blame how did it happened to their 15yr old daughter but nonetheless, they should support their daughter raise their grandchild. Unfortunate but that will be the best solution for now. After birth, the couple should practise safe sex, use birth control and go back to school. Grandparents can enjoy their grandchild while they are still very young and strong.

Answer 5

I don't believe it is illegal if the father is also under age. Now, if the mother is upset and the father is of legal age, THEN she has a case for rape.
As for abortion, well, in my personal view, I would suggest she have the child and then give it up for adoption before aborting it.
My real concern is the fact that the teenager didn't have enough instruction on how to say NO when in this situation. Now both her and her mother are dealing with a difficult situation.
My best wishes for your friend and her daughter.

Answer 6

If I was the mother, I would offer my daughter her options. She could get an abortion or she could adopt it out. Under no circumstances could she keep it. That baby would need the love of a mature mother, not a child who happened to get caught.

If I was the daughter, I would be scared shitless. I would want to talk with someone who would really understand my situation, like at Planned Parenthood or something. I would also have romantic notions of marrying the baby's father and setting up the American Dream of a small house with a white picket fence and a dog.

Answer 7

You asked 2 questions...... "is underage pregnancy wrong"
and "what would you do"

First, while I agree it's best for a young woman to wait to have children til she's grown and married ( at least 20 or so as an average) I do not believe there is really such a thing as "underage pregnancy". God in His wisdom made the human female to become fertile at a time when the body is sufficiently mature to handle childbirth. The mind isn't always ready, but who is to agrue with God's wisdom? In today's society, however, it is viewed as wrong. Still happens though.

Second, what would I do? I haven't had the situation to deal with, but I believe I would do my best to help and support the young mother, no matter what she decided to do, and if she chose to keep & raise the baby, I would love it. Who can help loving an innocent baby? My personal opinion is, as long as there aren't medical concerns, adoption is a better alternative than abortion. So many couples desperately want a baby and cant have one, so why kill it?

Answer 8

When i was 16 I fell pregnant and i misscarried when i was 4 and a half months gone, I got pregnant at the beginnin gof this year and I went to have an abortion, they are horrible, i don't agree with underage pregnancies but she is pregnant and there is nothing you can do about it at the moment, she has to decide whether she wants to have an abortion , as no one can make that decision for her. I am warning you now , it is not a nice thing to have to do . i had the later medical abortion. you can only have an abortion up to 24 weeks of the pregnancy . the procedure i had was , a natural misscariage via a tablet called mifeprostene, i think it was called that . and i was in agony for about 6 hours, and then i had to give birth to the foetus on a comode . and it is not the easiest thing to do , it really hurts, but there are other procedures of abortions. I hope I have helped you . please don't let anyone make the decision for her and the father as they need to make the decision together. even if they are really young, if she has an abortion and wants this baby , she will regret it for the rest of her life and the baby's father will resent her for the rest of his life. But if she doesn't want this baby , good luck to her. x
I don't know her but please send her my love.

Answer 9

It is not an ideal situation becoming pregnant as young as that , at 15 she`s still a child herself , but thats life . I have 4 daughters and because i do i have never judged an underage mother , after all goodness knows what challenges i shall face with any of them . If it were my daughter i would never force her to have an abortion mainly because i don`t agree with it and also i wouldn`t want my daughter to hate me , so my answer is if it was my situation i would have to say i would help and support her as much as i could . Babies bring love with them its not the end of the world entirely . But i would encourage her to keep studying etc and i`d help where i could watching the baby to let her continue further education ....

Answer 10

I became a mum at the age of 16 and although it wasn't exactly planned I don't regret it for one minute as I now have 4 wonderful children (17, 15, 14, 9) who make me so very proud and I love every second of being a mum. I only have one daughter and she will be 16 in a couple of week, this may sound very contridictary but I would be heartbroken if she became pregnant so young, she has so much ambition and promise as a dancer that I would hate to see that ruined. I would like to see her enjoy her life first and have children when she is older, wiser and has experienced life.

Answer 11

Well as a mother and a daugther I truly don't think abortion would be an option. I mean this young girl made the decision to take on an adult role when she decided to have unprotected sex and I don't feel that an unborn should have to pay with his/her life for her mistake. I think we as an society have started to rely on taking the easy way out and sweeping things like teenage pregnancy under the rug in order to save our good name. I think the yound lady should have her baby and if then she decides she doesn't want to be a mother give the baby up for adoption. I truly believe that she will need all the love and support she can get, because motherhood is not easy at any age.