I let this relationship break me down and became a weak person.?

Question

I don't know how to move on and stop feeling this pain. I broke up with my b/f yesterday after a year and a half because he was very emotionally abusive towards me and would have very bad mood swings. For weeks on end he would love me like I meant everything and then for days on end he would treat me like crap. It hurts so much because he confused me and broke me down with all of his different personalities. I am sick of talking about this and I know people are tired of hearing it but I just need some support and direction right now in my life. We are both 29 and since I have been with him I turned into his little puppet. I swore he got off on seeing me hurt and saw it all as a power trip.

Answer 1

Your right you need support, but you don't need the answers they r slapping u right in the face and if u stick around long enough he will too. Most men who r emotinally abusive turn violent! THIS IS A FACT! There is something in ur life that is holding u back from realizing that 1) ur a woman and gets no better than that ! 2) your stronger than u think or u wouldn't have asked for anything. He on the other hand is a pathedic excuse for a man who has been taught probably by another man that it's alright to treat women like dogs and if thats what you want to be then continue on. Or you take back controll of your pride,confidence and life and stay away from the asshole. There are plenty of men out there who r just that MEN!

Answer 2

Darn, I answered your question and when I went to edit it, I deleted it and it was such a good answer. Oh well here goes, I'll try to say it again.

You just answered your own question. You broke it off. Kudos! However; just because you are no longer with him, doesn't mean that he isn't still controlling you. It's time to stop letting him be the puppeteer. Move on. The way you describe his mood swings, he either has a problem with drugs or alcohol or he is bi-polar. You are lucky to be out of that situation but be sure you don't let him wiggle his way back into you life with false promises of changing. You are free of him now so get out there and enjoy your freedom.

Figure out what you like to do and get out and start doing it. You will meet some new friends, both male and female but be careful not to let yourself get lured into another situation where you give your life up for someone else. You don't need to be in a relationship to be happy. Take your time and find a good person who will treat you the way you treat them.

Tell yourself that you are a strong, independent person and eventually you will become one.

I'm sure it feels like a ton has been lifted from your shoulders now go out and enjoy the freedom. You can do anything you want to do, so do it. Don't take life so seriously and take your time.

If you are truly sick of talking about this, then stop talking about it and MOVE ON! The longer you talk about it, the easier it will be to convince yourself that you miss the situation and the easier it will be to fall back into it. DON'T DO IT. Get out there and find things to replace him with, people, activities whatever, just do it.

Good Luck to you, you lucky person you.

Answer 3

Look at your situation as follows. This fella iis not someone you can deal with without letting yourself feeling like shite. You have had a year, you have tried to find a way when it was good for you. It hasn't worked. It is making you feel weak. He maybe always like this, he maybe enjoying what he's doing to you. To you, it makes no difference. It only implies that he will be totally different with someone else, or he will be told yo f**k off and will crawl into his hole during one of his mood swings. You ended it up. You will not make contact, hopefully not see him again, and you will never look back. Now you've had enough of this bloody nonsense. You won't think about him. Making a long term plan will get you organised, to set new goals. Would be great to find a new hobby, or change your appartment, or maybe even move somewhere else if you think it's a good opportunity. you must start going out even if you dont' feel like it, because you need a change of environment to get out of the vicious circle.. Read a good book, avioding love stories for now. And remember, you don't have to be weak, you have to think strong. It's all in your mind. You were the one who ended it up after all.

Answer 4

Listen to the advice of all these good people...they are right...firstly it's too soon to feel positive about it at the minute...give it a few days & do yourself a favour & dont go back with him....if you think you are broken now, imagine how you would be after 10 or 12 years of marriage until the real you is no more....dont go back to him & hang in there......There are so many men out there that would be willing to treat you right. See yourself as a the princess you are & how you know you should be treated....
First few weeks is the hardest...& you will need to stay close to your friends and family for support...

Best of luck in your new life without this jerk....x

Answer 5

I was there too once, l had nothing save the clothes l stood in, and a broken heart, as soon as l could l threw out everything, and started from scratch..it was hard ...is hard .. to explain even now, but these few new things were not tainted by unhappiness..if that makes sense, l would say when l was so lonely...(all l want is to be loved..is that too much to ask) but you move on...and realise that there are some wonderful people in the world, it takes courage...but you have that..as you have survived...you must ask yourself who was strong..who was weak....remember being nasty is not a sign of strength..far from it.....there is love in the world for you..l assure you of that. I recall the past....but am happy now..and loved.

Answer 6

You've answered your own question in that last sentence.
It'll get easier babe, and maybe you dumping him will make him learn a lesson.
I was getting the same way once and i wish i ended it sooner, I was turning into a real a$$hole, instead of just realising that some people are not meant to be together.
It's a cliche but there's plenty more fish in the sea, take a break from relationships for a while, and don't forget to smile.

Answer 7

your right. He probably did have a great time watching you being molded into his little puppet. Pick yourself up, brush off your knees and seriously think about what you want for your life. You don't deserve the abuse and staying with him, you are allowing it to happen.get some councelling for yourself on getting YOU back, then stay on track, and stay away from him. You are 29 years old, and know the difference between right and wrong. You still have a chance for a love filled life with someone who will treat you great and with respect. Good luck.

Answer 8

Well dear, I know it's not easy to get over something like that. But you will be okay after some time. Once you get someone or something to keep yourself busy with, you will forget about your past relationship. Do not let anyone play you like a puppet.. emotionally. That's the key to a healthy relationship. I wish you all the best. Take care. Peace!!

Answer 9

Girl I'm goin through the same sh**. It makes you feel 2 inches tall... Huh? Well I will tell you from experience that it will get better with time because the pain your feeling is the pain of being rejected and treated like crap, But the part you miss is the part when he treated you well right? It gets easier with time, Just dont jump into another relationship to quick.





Good Luck

Answer 10

Remember the old saying, 'your heart with get stronger the ore times it is broken'. If you are having trouble moving on in your life then try something new in you life, you could get a pen-pal, go on holiday, get a pet. Your the strong one here, he's not, if he was weak enough he hurt you and leave you one your own he's the stupid one. Although you don't like to talk about it you should, it will help you get it out of your system, you could talk to a close friend or your mum or dad.