She's lie's so much about things. She lie's about being sick when she's not and takes off from work. She calls in sick from work so much that we are behind on every bill we have. I ask her to get direct deposit started at her job then she quits one job and jumps to another. With her doing this I can't afford to buy things for my daughters. I brought a 3Brm house we can't afford and two SUV's. I started with great credit and now after being married to her my credit is shot. I work in the military and have another job, but it's not enough to pay ower bills. She complains about me barthering her when I try to kiss her. I love being passion with my wife but my wife does not. My wife even said she was faithful and I found emails to another man. I love her very much but she is forcing me to stray in the arms of another woman. I keep in shape but my wife has gained weight, but I still love her. Some associates say I should leave her, but I'm not a quiter on the other hand it takes two.
2006-09-10 07:52:43 · 13 answers · asked by maximumone2u 1 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
This situation is horrible. People lie for 1 reason . Because they are hiding something. It sounds like your wife is just lazy and wanting someone to take care of her. If you have found e- mails from another man that might be a big red flag. Especially if she wants nothing to do with you sexually. The worst thing you can do is go to another women because then you would be no better than her. Not to mention what would your children think? You are the man means you are head of the house. Sit down and tell her, if things don't change you aren't going to stand for it anymore. Your children are most priority. Maybe seeing a councilor would help. Otherwise it counseling isn't your thing. do what is in your heart. 10 years from now do you see yourself with her? Or are you just staying because of the kids. Your right it does take two to make a marriage work. I would tell her in detail how you feel . See how she responds . If things don't change , move on.
2006-09-10 08:07:15 · answer #1 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
Wow.. well no u shouldnt divorce her.. but u need to let her know that if things dont change that ur going to have to do some drastic changes in house hold.. sell one of the cars.. take away all her means of money.. so that u can make sure everything is getting paid.. tell her how u feel.. let her know how damaging its becoming to your relationship.. and no u shouldnt cheat.. even if she's talking to another man it doesnt give u the excuse to cheat.. if its to that point u should divorce her.. but never cheat.. my x husband cheated on me.. and im still not over the pain of it.. and it took me 7 years before i could move on with my life , theres no pain like the one cheating causes.. and ur daughters need atleast one role model that has morals and values and if she isnt capable of being that person then they need that from u...and as far as the gaining weight.. it happens... especially to women.. especially after having kids.. and sometimes it takes yearssssss to get even remotely close to the same body we once had.. and weight should never be an issue when it comes to love.. if u base ur love on looks, then ur marriage is doomed cause eventually she will look NOTHING like the woman u married when she gets older ..
2006-09-10 08:05:21 · answer #2 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She needs to think about that its not having what you want but wanting what you got. Seriously, if you really want to save your marriage, then get her into counseling, Lying is usually a result of some unknown underlying reason. Maybe what she says about flirting is true but then she should come clean with you. This is where counseling will help, but if you both dont want the same thing, all the counseling in the world wont help. Just be prepared for anything to happen and have a plan B to fall back on in case. Good luck
2016-03-27 05:36:00 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
First off--you need to realize your role in this situation. You are allowing her to act this way by crediting your existence & allowing her to push you away without reproach.
This is textbook codependent behavior. Get into a therapeutic situation to deal with your "sickness" otherwise you will never get out of this one---or if she leaves you for another man when your credit finally goes bad, you will be either alone or right in another situation like this one.
Healthy people don't end up where you are. I'm not saying you've always been this way but your wife's illness or lacking has exacerbated something in you to stay and allow yourself to be treated this way & exist in a loveless, expressionless life.
Your adultery is yet one more level of the dysfunction & it is not your wife who has "pushed you into" this situation, but your inability to correct it.
Your actions--or lack of--will play a role in shaping who your kids become. When they are older they will reflect & wonder what the hell you were thinking.
At the point it sounds like you're at, you need a support group & real help. Otherwise it just gets sicker & uglier.
Your wife obviously needs a lot of help, but you can only focus on you & your kids. Fix yourself. Then she no longer fits in to the equation. She either leaves or gets her own help. You have to be okay with you first. Someone in this situation is not okay with themselves.
As a square one action, get the book: "Codependence: Misunderstood & Mistreated" (ISBN: 0062507699) on amazon.com or something. It has been very helpful for me.
2006-09-10 08:14:16 · answer #4 · answered by thepolishpen 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
are you the man of the house
well you should be the provider that is my oppinion
and if you are going to another women and a cheater
and if she is going to a nother guy she is a cheater
does no one take marriage serious
and as far as her weight you try having kids and keeping it off love honor and cherish till death do you part
fat or skinny
what did you all miss in your vows
and she is obviously missing something from you that she is talking to another man
2006-09-10 08:29:30 · answer #5 · answered by Larelle 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
It sounds to me like she is fat, lazy and a cheater. She cannot hold a job or provide you with the passion you need, let alone the kids have to do without because of her laziness. Kick her to the curb and move on!
2006-09-10 07:55:52 · answer #6 · answered by AsianPersuasion :) 7 · 1⤊ 0⤋
i would sit her down and have a serious talk with her and ask her to get help. if she doesnt want then leave her. you dont need that stuff in your life. you have kids to think about. she also has to wake up and think about you and the kids. so i hope it's work out for you and good luck. i hope this help
2006-09-10 08:05:28 · answer #7 · answered by Melda R 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
She sounds depressed. Really depressed. See if you can get her to talk to someone or go to the doctor. Maybe couples counciling would be good too.
2006-09-10 07:58:37 · answer #8 · answered by gemm77 3 · 0⤊ 0⤋
she help with bills and money not jump jobs save money
2006-09-10 07:56:45 · answer #9 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
so what is your question? either love your wify as she is or dump her. i really don't understand what do u want bothering people with all this stuff which is impossible to read
2006-09-10 07:56:38 · answer #10 · answered by jacky 6 · 0⤊ 1⤋