Gays how would u expect someone to react if they...?

Question

Had a bestfriend who was a Christian and struggling with being Gay due to sexual abuse in the past. I kept an open mind toward homosexuality for 4 months for my friend caus he asked me to. I had never dealt much with the issue. So basically he knew i thought it was wrong but asked me to not bother him about dating guys and be open to the possibility that it was alright caus he explained to me all the things he had felt inside having to do with being gay so How could one not empathize with that.So I did I never said I didn't think it was wrong but I was pretty passive about it and didn't much bother him about it. I have met a number of other gay people through my best friend because My best friends began to work at a gay club so to say i know a lot of gay men would be an understatement.
Ok so now my best friend is depressed after 6 months living the lifestyle. He calls me up almost everyday and tells me he just feels like giving up on life. Maybe if I had not been so passive about it.

at the beginning perhaps he would not be in this predicament. He tells me everyday he wants to stop. That he feels empty and used. Which he was. From being around and being friends with so many gay men I could no longer just be passive about it. I am telling u I have heard sad story after sad story. I have listened to gay men tell me their lives and their struggles. Hear my words when I say this THEY ARE HURTING. There is no way around it. I have met too many of them not to notice a pattern. My best friend wants so bad to not have the feelings that he does and talked to me just yesterday and said these words"I wish I had never been gay in the first place I should a listened to you" Now my friend has a lot of pride and for him to say that was huge. I am now passionate about homosexuality because honestly nothing else could come out of having so many gay friends and seeing the same pattern over and over again. I don't want them to hurt any more...

SOCIETY AND ESPECIALLY CHRISTIANS SHOULD NOT TURN AWAY FROM GAY PEOPLE. I DON'T THINK IT IS RIGHT TO LET ANYONE FALL THROUGH THE CRACKS. THEY ARE IN SO MUCH PAIN. NAME CALLING AND SEPARATING YOURSELVES FROM THEM WILL NOT HELP. U MUST LOVE THEM. U MUST. BECAUSE IT IS WHAT THEY SO DESPERATELY NEED. A HEALTHY LOVE. A LOVE TO SHOW THEM THAT A PARENT REBUKES IN LOVE NOT APATHY. THEY JUST NEED HEALTHY LOVE. I WAS PASSIVE ABOUT MY FRIEND I COULDN'T SEE THE HURT. NOW HE IS ROCK BOTTOM. AND CALLING OUT TO ME VERBALLY INSTEAD OF BY BEING GAY. I SHOULD NOT HAVE BEEN PASSIVE. U SHOULD NOT BE EITHER.

Answer 1

Well first off, your friends friends are bar people...most of these people have problems that are easier erased by alcohol. Sounds like your friends needs therapy if he was sexually abused. Not every gay person has been sexually abused. There are plenty of str8 people who have been sexually abused. Sexual abuse is a crime and your friends needs to come to terms with the fact that it was not his fault.

Answer 2

There's a big difference between being gay, and living the Club Life. You are confusing "gay lifestyle" with "singles bar lifestyle.:

And yes, in the singles bar lifestyle, gay or straight, you can feel cheap and used up pretty quickly. So he maybe needs to get out of the job working in the gay club, and I don't mean go work in a straight club! I mean go to work on a loading dock or an insurance company or J.C.Macy's or something.

Don't give yourself so much credit. You cannot turn a gay man straight. You might have influenced your gay friend's behavior for a while, and he'd have been miserable either not dating anyone, or dating women. And in the latter case, you're making some poor woman miserable too. Think about this...would you fix your gay friend up with your sister, after you've preached some bent Bible piece to him? Of course not, because deep down, you would know he was still GAY!

Answer 3

The only reason your friend is in so much pain is because of the way people behave. You were kind to him, that counts for something, but he can't just stop being gay. He was born that way, nothing will ever change that-and all the faking in the world will only make him more miserable.
I, too, felt like that once upon a time. I had lost almost all of my "friends"-and I use that term loosely, because had they been my friends they would still be here. Sometimes I still cry myself to sleep at night, wondering how I can get people to be more understanding. I can't help who I am, and people can be so cruel sometimes. They think that all their preaching will help, but it only makes them look more hateful. The most you can do, is be there for your friend. Maybe try and find him a LGBT hotline to call. They're really good with helping others out. They helped me :)

Answer 4

If he's saying he's not gay now he was never gay to begin with honey. Why don't you learn a thing or two. People are born this way. The only reason some are unhappy is because people like YOU feel the need to press YOUR beliefs onto us and discriminate against us because YOU don't think it's RIGHT. well you know what? There are so many people in this world and everyone is diverse and unique from everyone else. So shut up and go away already we're tired of reading your crap.

Answer 5

I am gratified to know that you are trying to understand homosexuality. I too have seen alot of gay men suffer, however, this is something only THEY can change. You can only continue your support and help your friend try to find peace WITHIN himself. The sexual abuse he experienced is the biggest crux of the matter. Until he can love himself, it will be difficult for him to find love. He needs counseling to get a grip on that part of his life, then to deal with his homosexuality. Do not blame yourself for passive response, I believe anything more aggressive would have lost you a friend. Besides, that is all in the past now and you can only go forward. Good luck.

Answer 6

You are misguided. Your preaching is an offense against God. Your friend who you hint was sexually abused could not have a mentally healthy relationship in either the gay or straight world without much therapy, and it takes more courage and self understanding to live a gay life than to live a straight one owing in part to people like you who constantly bugger away at them.

What you do is mental rape and you will fry in your own self made hell for this I suspect.

Your mind games are easily going to cause the suicide of the weak such as your friend that you have been bombarding for God knows how many years.. and when he slits his wrists you will know you are responsible for this act.

Empty you pathetic mind and find the space to allow creative thought, then pick up Ching Tao and read it.. realize your meddling is causing death to those who believe in you.. oh false prophet .. repent your sins against your fellow man (who is gay)

Here is what God has directed me to tell you to do as atonement. Lie for forty days with only man. Let no one else touch you or be near you. When you have done this, you will be forgiven for now you will have walked in your brother's shoes and will go and sin no more.

Answer 7

A rational person would have talked them into actual medical therapies instead of relying on mumbo jumbo.
A rational person would have dealt with the sexual abuse before casting judgments on whether or not a persons perceived sexual orientation is the core issue.
A rational person that could not decide would actually talk with a real mental health professional instead of spamming boards with nonsensical ramblings and pseudo-intellectual claptrap.
A rational person would realize that simply because your friend is a basketcase it doesn't mean that every other person that is homosexual is as well.

Since when have you been rational, ever actually done more than talk AT people repeating the same parroted, prerecorded speeches, and same tired ill-conceived arguments to people who have told you repeatedly to go away.

Answer 8

Your friend sounds like he needs some professional help. He doesn't seem to like himself very much....Being gay is not a choice...he just has to accept who he is.. There are lots of gay men out there who have great lives.....I don't think your question is much about homosexuality..as it is about a friend who's depressed. You couldn't have changed his sexuality...

Answer 9

Let's see here....he was abused and that is why he is GAY? hmmmmm new one on me.
Let's see here...you are a "friend" and he comes to you with problems, but because of THIS problem you turn your back on him hMMMMMMMMm sounds like a great Christian at work.
Let's see here....You are telling me that YOU could save him but you don't do anything.....HMMMMMMM How very understanding of you.

Let's see here...is it possible that you, as a "friend," have given this guy a feeling of non-worth? Your "friend" needs to distance himself from you and others like you to find a life that is great..it is waiting for him, but with you in the way, I think he will have more problems finding it. You sit there in your Christian judgements, spouting this and that...trust me, you are going to have a lot of explaining to do at the old Pearly Gates, you and I both know that.

Answer 10

Share the following information with your friend: it will allievate the pain and confusion.

Love works no ill toward its neighbor -- therefore it fulfills the law (Gal 5:14)! Anal sex (not homo-sex) is forbidden under Moses' law because it has a tremendous affinity to cause harm in so many ways. Would you let a child play in a septic tank? See: It's not 'God being controlling for the sake of control'! God forbade certain acts like anal sex because they can be absolutely devastating -- often deadly. However, other forms of loving expression that are not forbidden, - are not forbidden (Inclusio unius est exclusio alterius ;-)
Men who luv men, but abstain from anal-sex have as their testimony: One of the lowest rates of sexually transmitted diseases among any demographic. Lesbians are probably the only group that is lower in STD incidences (And you'll notice the Law of Moses says NOTHING forbidding female/female intimacy, - despite how rabidly fundamentalism assails it)! Some may argue that Paul forbids it in Romans 1. That would be a neat trick: The man who wrote not to go beyond what was written (I Cor 4), suddenly going beyond what was written?! Not at all! In Romans 1, Paul describes acts that were part of pagan idolatry practices often done in clear public forum (how else would he have known of them to describe so fully)! In describing acts of both men & woman, he uses the term "likewise" (v.27 or "in the same way"). Since the Law of Moses does not mention female/female sexual intimacy, Paul's use of the term "likewise" CANNOT be a blanket condemnation on acts that are called "homosexual" by today's standards; -- because if it was, he would be contradicting a basic principle of law of NOT going beyond what is written. Paul is saying that the acts that are worthy of death are both forbidden under the Law of Moses (laws which we can look up). So, what act/s would "likewise" apply to in Paul's exposé? It is writtten: "You must not bring the earnings of a female prostitute or of a male prostitute into the house of the LORD your God to pay any vow, because the LORD your God detests them both." - Dt 23:18. Now, if you look carefully at the verse allegedly condemning what many label "homosexuality", from Leviticus 20:13, -- it now becomes obvious that this is probably about a form of male prostitution in which men take on a passive, feminine role: "If a man lies with a man as one lies with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They must be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads.". It's not a blanket prohibition of male/male intimacy: It's about IDOLATRY & the practices of fertility cults; -- practices that often emasculated the man in his role within the cult (via anal penetration)! In CONTEXT, Paul's use of the terminology "women put aside the natural use" does not mean lesbianism (as there is no Law in Moses against that)! He's talking about women who are having anal sex with men! The meaning is made clear in the next verse where Paul discusses men who burned their lust toward other men RECEIVING IN THEMSELVES THE PENALTY. In this light, it becomes painfully obvious that Paul's expose' on pagan idolatry in Romans 1, - has been used for centuries now to baselessly condemn a group of people (gay) - that it was never intended to! Paul's condemnation is about the practices of fertility cult prostitutes & their adoption of anal sex.
The misrepresentation of Paul's writing is precisely what Peter wrote would happen! Check this out: "His letters contain some things that are hard to understand, which ignorant and unstable people distort, as they do the other Scriptures, to their own destruction." - Peter about Paul's writing, & those who distort them. How does this "destruction" happen?