What should I do?? Relationship help!?

Question

I've been with my boyfriend for 1 year and 1 month. We've had a lot of ups and downs, good times and bad, as all relationships do...
but lately things have been horrible. I am an insecure person, so sometimes I can't help but get mad that he is best friends with his brothers girlfriend. I try to accept that they're best friends because I am good friends with her too but when he is mad at her (like for yelling at his lil sister) instead of bitching to her about it, he bitches at me because he is TOO scared to yell at her since shes not his girl.Also, when we argue I never call him bad names. He constantly calls me names like *****, sl*t, whore, white trash (and he knows I am not white trash because I buy him THINGs and I own more gold jewlery and name brand clothes then he will ever own in his LIFE).
I told him it hurts&makes me cry and he promises to stop but everytime we argue he calls me those names again.
I love him but I hate the way he gets... what do u think? wat should i do?

Also, his aunt sells jewlery and I wanted a gold one with green (its my fav color). When he told his brothers girlfriend I was getting that one she told him can u ask her if she'll get another because green is my birthstone.
I told him no because green is my favorite color and I like it so I shouldnt have to change for someone else and he called me a *****!!!

I dont see why he would get mad at me and be all in her defense because she wanted that one when afterwards she decided to get pink anyway. Also, I had the money way before her so first come first serve, yanno!?

ALSO! I said about the clothes and jewlery because thats what he considers white trash. HE considers trash to be a state of what you wear, how your dress, etc.. And, I am educated and I try to be calm but if he calls me a dumba$$ i say to him. "Im the dumba$$ but you don't even know how to do fractions? I mean didn't we learn those in middle school?" <- I know that may be ignorant but hey.. he's calling me dumb when i helped him pass 12th grade (last yr) by doing his senior project and helping more like doing his homework for him.

Also, I am not in the relationship for physical attraction. When I first met him I was talking to someone else, more attractive than him but I chose him because he was kinder than the other... at least at that time he was :(

Answer 1

sounds like he really likes her and not you. Sorry. Ditch the guy there are plenty of others out there and it may not feel like it right now because all your attention has been on this guy but they are out there.

Answer 2

If he is calling you names you shouldn't be with him. That isn't healthy. I think you and him should break it off. Yes a year is a long time, a long time to take his verbal abuse.


The term White Trash is slang and is also used as a disparaging term for a white person or white people perceived as being lazy and ignorant. Maybe be thinks your are just ignorant. Anyone can be trash regardless of how much money they have or what name brand jean they were. On the same note, do you think you are better than him? Since you own more gold jewelry and name brand clothes than he will ever own in his LIFE. Grow up. It isn't all about money.

Answer 3

I think you should leave him,being that you feel the way you do it's painful and it's only going to get worse then abuse may start you never know a man mind anything could happen and then he may cheat on blame that on you and there's more pain a man will put more **** on you just cause we allow him to. Put a stop to it while you can that one year will turn to 2&3 years of hurt. Find someone that will treat you like the Queen you are. Never feel insurce about nothing the same way you meet him another will come along. Good Luck..

Answer 4

I would leave him. I know it would be hard, and it hurts, but if you stay it is only going to get worse. I have been in relationships like this before. You start thinking, "Well, it will get better, I am sure it will." Then one week it is like heaven, everything is great, your kissing hugging, having a great time. The next week you are both yelling and screaming. The relationship just goes up and down all the time, and most of the time you just don't know how to handle it or what to feel.

The truth is, if your having problems now your always going to have them. So you either leave him or you cope with it. Things like this just don't go away. If it is not this, then it is something else.

Answer 5

I am sure what you described above hurts you. You seem like a sweet person, so I have to ask, although you love him, is he worth all this? Aren't you better than those names he calls you? If you have a heart to heart with him and explain how you feel and it doesn't help, then, although I know it would be hard, it's time to move on. Good luck! After you have talked to him about the way he treats you, then you can address the best friend issue.

Answer 6

EEKKKK!!!!! RUN for it~~~
I saw a couple of red flags on this relationship and if you were my sister or friend.. i would tell you this (see above).
Also there is nothing wrong w/ YOU...You have tried and are not a quitter on relationships.. but there comes a time to make a break and move on.
There is most honestly a better man for you out there who will treat you w/ respect,(by talking and treating you as the prize that you are)... then the one you are w/ now.
It seems to me that he is the one who has had bad relationship examples... YOU cannot change or expect anyone to change for you if they themselves do not want to change.
A relationship that is healthy is one you can BOTH grow from and from each other.

Answer 7

if he's disrespecting u by calling u all those horrible names then u need to get out of this relationship anyone that feels the need to call someone they supposively love such hurtful names is someone that doesnt really love u.. when u really love someone u go out of your way to try and not hurt them not to do everything u can to hurt them.. and i want to clarify something for u.. White trash isnt someone that has brand name clothes, or has alot of "gold" jewelry.. white trash is someone that doesnt carry themselves with class, u can have 2 cents to ur name, but as long as u carry urself with dignity , class and pride, ur not trash..so money doesnt decide if ur trash or not.. ur mouth, the way u dress (not the expense but how u dress) , and the way u live ur life.. is what depends on if ur trash or not.. and if he's calling u all those volgar names.. that makes him the trash..

BTW.. ur bf is in love with his brothers girlfriend, but wont admit it because its "his brothers" girl..

Answer 8

Start calling him the same names back. He does not respect you!!! That's a hint! The next time he gets mad at "his friend" call her up so she can hear what he is saying. YOU ARE HIS WHIPPING BOY!!!!! p.s. White trash is not how much money/of things you have,it's a state of mind.

Answer 9

My dear friend...this is the part of life I could never understand. How.... and only how could a guy of this kind becomes loveable by girls.
You are one of the examples of those girls who waste their most precious possession for the worst kind of human and deprive the really loveworthy one or more.
Its an irony that girls say that they only look for real love in a person. On the contrary, it is mere physical attraction and (suprisingly enough) the nasty attitudes (often mistaken as masculine flavour) which becomes the only factor of your choice.
But, afterall if you really love that guy than its your responsibility to stand against his wrongs (if you have faith in him and in your love) and protest against the ongoings rightfully.

Answer 10

I have two words for you...DUMP HIM.
Ok, now I have a few more just for you. How about Wisdom . Strength . Dignity . Grace . Love . Laughter . Character . I think we ought to - as women - strive to live our life in such a way, that these things flow out of us, and touch every life that we come in contact with. Our lives, and those that we associate ourselves with (i.e... boyfriends... husbands...) ought to be life giving to others. He obviously isn't life giving to you. A few more words then I'll go ... Serenity . Peace . Tranquility . Calm . Silence . Harmony . I think every girl ought to have those in her life. More of some than others, but we all need them.
Like the one chick said, your boyfriend is in love with his brothers girl, and don't have the bal*s to tell you or his brother... get out of this while you are still young!!!! (The mean streak in me would let the brother read this question, and all the answers. But remind him not to dis' his girl yet, or judge her too quickly, the affection may not be mutual. It may just be your boyfriend having a crush on her, and she may not care for him. Sounds like she knows how to manipulate him though.... Maybe theres a reason for that too...)
You are young...You should LIVE while you are alive, and it sounds like this guy isn't going to let you do that. You are in charge of yourself, tell him to be faithful in his heart, or get out of yours. If we have no HOPE that they will ever be FAITHful, its time for them to go.
You deserve, first of all, to see your self and to HONOR that person, by becoming a whole person, with or without a bf. Then to RESPECT yourself by not letting this bf run you over...
May you eventually find someone who sees only you.

Answer 11

Look honey if he is taking another woman's side over yours drop him! The necklace thing is petty but he should have told the other girl..."Look my girlfriend wants that necklace you'll have to find another one." He never should have told you to change your mind its rediculous....you need to get rid of him cuz it will only get worse I know you love him but there are so many other fish in the sea that are so much better....