I find it very difficult to . It seems that every person in my life that has said they loved me, were just waiting for the opportunity to tear my heart out, and stomp it in the floor in front of my eyes. Do you feel the same way, or do love freely, and openly?
2006-09-10 07:08:26 · 12 answers · asked by olderbutwiser 7 in Family & Relationships ➔ Marriage & Divorce
It is a very difficult thing to do. Sometimes we all put walls up with the fear of getting hurt again and again. All in all, if you sat back and did an analysis of your past relationships, you would probably see a pattern. Time to break the cycle and do something different, directed more towards yourself and not so much the other person. it's your self confidence and self esteem that needs to be strengthened. Don't give up. Take everything you have learned and direct it towards positive thinking that you are a deserving person. it works, and you will wonder once this special person comes into your life, where have you been? When this happens, actually don't question it. Seize the moment and go with it, or you will start building that wall again. Communication is very important...but does not mean you have to spill out everything. Communication is listening as well, try to hear what the other person is saying. They may have fears of the same thing...not wanting to get hurt again..
2006-09-10 07:55:36 · answer #1 · answered by Tammy 2 · 1⤊ 0⤋
I was this way until I realized that unless you love freely can you be loved freely. You may have been with the wrong people. You have to be strong enough in yourself to be able to pick yourself up and try again. But if you don't give yourself a chance to find someone to love you will you ever find ever lasting love.
2006-09-10 14:11:49 · answer #2 · answered by peachesgirl1212 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I'm like you, I've put walls up my whole life. Outwardly I show affection, love, etc. and women have fallen in love with me, but inwardly I've always kept secrets that I should tell the person I love or just not been as open as I should be for fear of being crushed. It's crazy!
To fully let yourself go, though, is an exhilarating and freeing experience, I've finally done it and it just feels so totally awesome . . . being hurt is a price to pay for freedom . . .
2006-09-10 14:40:42 · answer #3 · answered by Anonymous · 1⤊ 0⤋
I have always been like this, until recently. I had always been treated bad--by friends, family, boyfriends, etc. Even my ex husband was horrible to me the whole 20 years we were together! Do you think I gave up and let everyone keep on treating me bad? No way! I got stronger, worked on believing in myself and loving myself, and in turn found the one true love of my life. I totally changed my personality, way of thinking, way of doing and saying things, etc. It took lots and lots of hard work, especially since I have always been really shy, but I did it to learn to love myself, to have much better self-esteem and self-respect. Once that all happened, I was introduced to my now fiance.
If you work on yourself, learn to love yourself and have self respect for yourself, etc, you will find that special someone to share your life with. You will end up having them be a compliment to your life, not be dependent on them to make you happy, etc. because you will already be happy with yourself. You seem to be meeting all the wrong people if the only ones you meet treat you badly. I believe you need to work on yourself and meet a different kind of people. I bet you would be amazed at what happens, how you feel, etc.
One book that really helped me was: Stand Up, Speak Out, Talk Back. It really helps with boundaries for yourself and your relationships, how to speak up for yourself, etc. It totally helped me to change my personality.
Good luck! I know how hard it is to do this, but it can be done.
2006-09-10 17:54:28 · answer #4 · answered by honey 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I feel the same way, especially lately. Why put yourself out there so much just to be let down again. Sometimes we are better off not knowing.
2006-09-10 14:11:27 · answer #5 · answered by E 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
No unfortunately i too have had alot of horrible relationships and i have a very low self esteem.. and im unfortunatly always waiting for the "bubble to burst" so to speak.. fortunately i met my now husband and he is wonderful.. and he's very patient.. and understand that i have alot of pain and unhealed scars but he is helping those heal..
2006-09-10 14:12:26 · answer #6 · answered by brwneyedgrl 7 · 0⤊ 0⤋
you should live more freely and openly, and don't take the love thing too much seriously, only with the one who deserve it and this one cant find so easy.
2006-09-10 14:53:28 · answer #7 · answered by Anonymous · 0⤊ 0⤋
don't tell all your secrets, don't give all your heart to only one person....it might actually work, you know?
You can allow yourself to be loved, to feel important, but don't give all of you at once, always keep a little to yourself, and then, after your head knows what your heart wants you to believe, open up and give it all.
2006-09-10 14:31:53 · answer #8 · answered by AMBER D 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋
no i dont i am the same way it is verry hard to let someone love you and show that you love them back but jus try you might find someone real i did
2006-09-10 14:12:08 · answer #9 · answered by amber 2 · 0⤊ 0⤋
I don't find it hard at all once you know what you want.Everyone in your life is not suppose to be there forever so just move on.
2006-09-10 14:12:54 · answer #10 · answered by master_der_man 6 · 0⤊ 0⤋